The Graham Norton Show

Michael Keaton talks about Batman, Birdman and Beetlejuice; Victoria Wood reveals she resolves disappointment through writing; Jamie Oliver recalls a disastrous evening with Jules; Ian McKellen says he had no idea what was going on in The Hobbit; and One Direction talk about coping with success.

Michael Keaton, talking about his new movie Birdman being tipped for an Oscar says, "I don't know, but I am keeping that weekend free!"

Asked if it was an uncomfortable experience to run through Times Square in just his underpants for the role, he says, "Actors will do the oddest things and once you start you kind of forget what you are doing and at the same time use any kind of embarrassment to fuel the performance."

Reminded of the negative reaction to him being cast as Batman 25 years ago, Michael says, "I was shocked because I didn't know why people would care one way or the other. I didn't know it was an issue. I found out it was a big deal when there was an article in the Wall Street Journal and I thought, 'There's much else going on in the world at the time, like in Rwanda and people are concerned about Michael Keaton being Batman!'"

Talking about one misguided Beetlejuice fan, Michael recalls, "I was on the set of Birdman and one of stage hands told me to look at the tattoo of a guy who had been hanging around watching the filming. He had an unbelievably detailed image of me as Beetlejuice tattooed on his arm - it was beautiful and I spent ages looking at it and asking him questions and finally he says, 'You done?' rolls down his sleeve and goes off on his bike. He never put the two things together!"

Jamie Oliver, asked if it is true he is thinking of getting a tattoo, says, "I am 40 next year and thought it might be a good idea. It was a mid-life crisis thing. I'd have to put it somewhere my dad wouldn't find out because he won't like it and doesn't believe in that. I wasn't sure what I should have and someone suggested I tattoo 'al dente' on my private parts!"

Talking about his early career, Jamie says, "I had a mixed reaction. Until then cookery programmes were by old people with Michelin stars. Britain was ready for something new. When I started Naked Chef cooking was for girls but when it finished it was 'cooking got you girls.'

"For the first couple of years men hated me, I got so much abuse. I literally got chased down a road once. This massive lump of a guy got hold of me, pinned me up against a wall and I thought he was going to hit me and then his face softened and he said, 'If I'd met you a month ago I would have punched in the head but actually I'm pretty good at cooking now so thank you very much.' As I walked away he said, 'And by the way, I'm better than you!"

Recalling a disastrous date with Jules, Jamie says, "I am a romantic, so I had cleaned the house, I had Sade on and I was cooking sea bass. I should add I was also completely naked apart from a bow on my manhood. I opened the oven and a jet of steam burnt my penis. It was really, really, really painful and I screamed which wasn't very romantic. I had to pack myself with frozen peas. I was so swollen but it was so painful. It was a bitter sweet experience!"

Asked if his latest cookery book, which he describes as, "A little more eccentric," will be the number one Christmas present this year, he says, "Never be presumptuous, but it would make a perfect stocking filler!"

Victoria Wood, asked if she'd ever consider a tattoo, says, "No, it's not a middle aged lady thing to do. All the ladies I know just have plastic surgery when they have a mid-life crisis. Partly I think it's rather shallow and people should get in touch with their interior selves, and yes, I'd love to have some!"

Talking about her new BBC Christmas musical, That Day We Sang, which she describes as, "Moulin Rouge with slippers," she says, "I wanted to write something that gave people a second chance. I've had a good career but have disappointments and you plug into that. I understand what it is to be lonely and that's what I wanted to write and this musical resolves that when two people come together."

Asked about doing big sell out runs at The Albert Hall, which at the time were unheard of, she says, "It was so I could do less shows for the same amount of money so I could get home to the children and do the washing!" Asked if she ever watches herself doing stand-up she says, "I never watch myself. If I was very drunk I might watch dinnerladies!"

Sir Ian McKellen, sporting a One Direction t-shirt, talks about the premiere of The Hobbit, "It was very moving to see all these kids sleeping out all night. These people were not born when we started making Lord of the Rings and it's a big part of their lives. It's not the end for them because they will now be able to see all six films and show them to their kids. We've made classics and that's lovely."

Talking about the battle scenes in the latest installment of the franchise, he says, "They are amazing but don't ask me any more about how it is done as I don't really understand it," adding, "The best thing about having now seen the movie is understanding the plot - I had no idea what I was doing during filming."

Asked about the difficulties of filming, he says, "Some of it was really exciting like filming on a mountain top. But filming with a green screen is the miserable part. At the end of the first day, I shed a tear and with my head in my hand said, 'This is not why I became and actor,' forgetting the mikes were still on!"

Harry Styles, talking about how the band copes with their success and level of attention they receive, says, "It is weird but we are very lucky that we get to work with a lot of people who've worked with this kind of thing before and they've seen where it's gone wrong and where it's gone right. In terms of the people we have around us their experience helps a lot. And obviously we have all of us to talk it through and we have our families," adding, "And it's amazing what we get to do."

Zayn Malik adds, "We've all got really supportive families that keep us grounded and keep us who we are."

Talking about their writing process, Liam Payne says, "We tend to go away in little teams and write." Louis Tomlinson adds: "We tend to pair off otherwise it gets too busy." Zayn says, "We tried to write with the five of us in the early days but it was just too hectic."

Liam, talking about their latest album says, "With the involvement we had in it we feel that it's more our own and we're definitely more proud of it. It's more the stuff we listen to ourselves and we are happy to tour it."

One Direction perform Night Changes live in the studio, before Graham pulls the lever on more foolhardy audience members brave enough to sit in the Red Chair.