Genius With Dave Gorman

Stand-up Chris Addison and one half of Mel and Sue - Mel Giedroyc, act as the judges for tonight's show. Ideas include a machine that can simulate a person's handshake to a discreet device for fixing wedgies.

Handshakes

- A machine that will measure and record your handshake so that you can use it to perfect your handshake. Genius

Select-a-Genius

Ideas selected from a random light which shines on a random member of the audience.

- Improve coverage of the Olympics by have an extra lane which would feature an average member of the public in it. Genius

- An aftershave which displays the intelligence of the wearer. Genius

- A soft drink market for the people of Congleton called "Um Bongleton". Genius

Videoed and Illustrated Ideas

- Resurface all of Britain's roads with fitted carpet. Not a genius

- House hats to reflect what was inside. Not a genius

- Pre-flavoured meats so you do not need to add herbs and spices. Not a genius

- Handles for coins. Genius

- Dust-buster cars to clean up the roads. Genius

- Ride-on vacuum cleaners. Genius

Ideas with Prototypes

- Cheese slice dispensers. Not a genius

Ideas concerning Intimate Female Body Parts

- Baby dummies shaped like a breast. Not a genius

- Weighing scales for breasts, so breastfeeding mothers would know which breast had the most milk. Not a genius

- An anti-wedgie device to stop your underpants getting into your backside. Genius

Final ideas

- Save the polar bears by establishing a breeding colony on Jupiter's icy moon Europa. Genius

- Playgrounds for pensioners. Genius

- Get a large sheet of blue plastic with grey edging and fool Google Maps into thinking you have a swimming pool in your back garden. Genius

- Super cooling pants to keep testicles cool during spells of global warming. Genius

- Canary badminton. Not a genius