Fonejacker

The Fonejacker

The Fonejacker, who wears a red, white and black balaclava, makes all the prank calls in the segments of the show where live action / a hidden camera is used.

He assumes the guise of characters to make the prank calls. Previous identities he has assumed include Jéan Pierré & Alan (pilot episode), Brian Bedonde, Donald Donaldson, Roger Barker, Tarquin the BT engineer & 'Steve with the Bitbobs'.

George Agdgdgwngo

A distinctly amateurish scam artist from the African Republic of Agdgdgwngo, George attempts to obtain bank and credit card details from the general public by coming up with scarcely-believable stories (for example, in one call he says a pigeon has been discovered in a bank vault, leading to a need for sort codes and bank account numbers so the vault can be opened and the bird freed).

Not surprisingly, George's hairbrained scams never come to fruition.

Mr Doovd

Seen in animation to be a camel riding Middle Eastern gentleman, Mr Doovdé is a complete technophobe. He mistakenly believes that common abbreviations used in everyday technology (such as DVD, PC and LCD) as well as abbreviated brand/company names (such as JVC, DHL, PC World and HP) are pronounced exactly as they are written.

The sketches featuring Mr Doovdé are based around phone calls he makes to various electrical retailers and the difficulty he encounters when attempting to obtain information about the products they sell.

Terry Tibbs

A true Cockney wide boy with a significant amount of experience and nous, Terry likes to do a bit of wheeling and dealing. His calls generally involve enquiring about items advertised for sale (covering such diverse areas as Maserati cars, Italian fireplaces and Russian ladders) and trying to strike a bargain.

Confident, opinionated and full of patter, Terry comes across as a long-lost, harder-faced brother of Del-Boy.

The Mouse

The Mouse is an everyday mouse... except that he can talk and operate phones. Another Fonejacker character who primarily calls people for advice or information, The Mouse also occasionally attempts to cash in on his God given talent (such as performing as an Oasis tribute artist).

Mr Miggins

Another technophobe character, it doesn't take much to confuse Mr Miggins.

Yet another Fonejacker character who generally calls people for advice or guidance, Mr Miggins is often placed in compromising situations which he is happy to share with the person on the other end of the phone.

Indian Call Centre Man

This man is an enthusiastic Indian call centre employee who works for Internet Service Providings. However, despite the offer of 'better dealings than your current dealings', the ISP falls woefully short in the competitive world of internet service providers.

Customers who are not happy with the telephone manner of the Indian Call Centre employees are transferred to the boss of the Indian Call Centre.

In series two he has switched to trying to get people to join the #4 dating website in the whole of the UK.

Irish Mike

Swift of tongue, Mike is a tele-salesman who uses his rapid-fire patter to act on behalf of dubiously named companies, often selling I.T. based products.

Companies he has worked for include 'Feed Spaghetti Through Your Jap's Eye till Your Balls Turn Bluetooth Solutions Incorporated' and 'Wet Look Gel Your Crotch and Make a Quiff With Your Pubes I.T. Recruitment Services Limited'.

Janec (Series 2)

Janec is a polish immigrant musician who doesn't quite understand the British approach to privacy, manners or work ethics.

New in the UK, Janec is looking for work with new bands who need a special kind of keyboard sound. He has an interesting CV which includes the music to Krakow 951, plus some useful sound effects for Polish Airlines.

The UK's gain is Polish cinema's loss, however, as now Janec is unavailable for musical stings like 'violent stabbing'. You probably hear Janec's compositions in Polish supermarket. Bing bong.

Scouse Steve (Series 2)

Steve is an imprisoned scouser who uses his one phone call a week to try and land a decent job when he finally gets released.

'E's a luvvly boy, though, like, 'e jus' needs a chance. 'Cos people jus' don't trust 'im, even dough 'e's looked after 'is sisters kids, when she was a smack'ead. But, y' know, like, dey do do dat do' don't dey dough?

Jimmy Jon (Series 2)

Jimmy is an 'Ozzie over here' who can't go two minutes without bringing the conversation round to his favourite subject - sex. He is big down under if, ahem, you know what we mean.

What this Antipodean likes is plenty of action and he's going to get it wherever he can - they're coming in left, right and centre, so he needs a sturdy bed with plenty of room to roll around.

Perma-tanned and highly charged, Jimmy's ready to get busy with anyone, so enough talking business, time for physical pleasure. Man, woman or something in between (in fact, as much in-between as he can get), he's not fussy.

Barry Childs (Series 2)

Barry is a warden at a Young Offenders Institute. He tries to get people to come down and talk to his boys but invariably ends up scaring them off.

Stanley (Series 2)

Stanley is a sweet schoolboy who's misguided requests to strangers are anything but innocent. The only thing soft about him is his hair.

Do not be fooled by the cherubic tones and that cute speech impediment, this kid's got issues. Quite where Stanley gets his dark view of humanity from remains unknown.

Dufrais Constantinople (Series 2)

Dufrais is a single, middle-aged busybody. Head of the Resident's Association, he thinks everybody else's business is also his.

If you behave in a way that might be deemed un-neighbourly, or discourteously, i.e outrageous and just not on, he will exact revenge. Don't be surprised to find a 3,000 volt (minimum) fence erected around his garden.

And don't think he's not on to you if you have him under surveillance. He knows you know he knows, but he's foxed you. It's that new young man in the butcher's, isn't it? He looks at people funny.

Various

The Fonejacker appears as many other characters too. They include:

Bijan: Seen once only, in Episode 1.4. Bijan is a motorcycling paparazzi looking for the perfect shot of David Beckham.

Charlie Wong: A portly student who attempts to arrange various illegal activities. In series one he was looking to pirate movies; in series two he broke out into other pirating scams like fake brand clothing.

Criminal Dave: Quite possibly the worst bank robber in the world, as proven by his attempt to book a taxi as a getaway vehicle.

Honeymoon Video Man: Seen once only, in episode 1.4, the Honeymoon Video Man is a foreign gentleman looking to hire a camera man to film his 'honeymoon' video.

Horace Von Khuter: A Zimbabwean fraud officer, Horace is focussed on catching telephone fraudsters, namely the infamous Horace Von Khuter and George Agdgdgwngo.

Property Line: An automated service for members of the public seeking accommodation, the flat line has a tendency to misinterpret the requirements of the caller...

Thumbless Baker: Seen in the first episode only. He is a gentleman looking for a mobile phone having had his thumbs surgically removed following a freak baking accident.

Vishka Vishkovski: Seen once only, in episode 1.5. He is an Eastern European circus act on the lookout for work for himself and his dancing bear.