Comedy Rocks With Jason Manford

Comedy Rocks with Jason Manford was a one-off end-of-the-pier ­special that simply wasn't cut out for telly. This is the 21st Century, where we ­expect short sharp punchy scenes and fast editing. As opposed to a guy from Liverpool doing 10 continuous minutes of stand-up.

OK for a night out. But on a night in... a ­definite no-no. Jason's amusing enough in a gentle sort of way. Jo Brand's a reliable old warhorse. And with throwaway lines like "My granddad was an Elvis ­impersonator - but there wasn't much call for that in 1938", squeaky Joe Pasquale had me laughing out loud.

Some Northern ­comic called John Bishop seemed to believe that blokes don't send text messages. Tell that to Ashley Cole.

All too old-fashioned. Despite contributions from up-to-date ­popsters Scouting For Girls and Pixie Lott, the entire production was like something from a bygone age.

Friday night not at the Palladium.

ITV launch their own take on Live At The Apollo with Mancunian comic Jason Manford. Comedy Rocks features stand-up from the likes of scouse man of the moment John Bishop plus Jo Brand and bright young comic, er, Joe Pasquale. The show will be filmed the day before transmission so expect plenty of topical gags. As if that wasn't funny enough, there's live music from Pixie Lott and Scouting For Girls.

On the press release, host Jason Manford describes his new show, ominously, as a "variety event" - as in "I'm really looking forward to being part of this variety event on ITV." I'm fairly sure those words never passed his lips, but the PR-speak is revealing: it's intended to be "event" TV - that is, a big show with a live, shiny feel to it. And to ward off too many comparisons with Live at the Apollo (surely an inspiration), they're playing up the "variety" idea, because there will be music acts, too, namely Pixie Lott and Scouting for Girls. As well as Manford, Jo Brand, Joe Pasquale, ventriloquist Paul Zerdin and "Merseyside's motormouth" John Bishop will provide the laughs.

This variety show is the equivalent of a late-period Oasis album - some of the people involved may once have been vaguely entertaining (Jason Manford, John Bishop and Jo Brand) but it's far too broad strokes (Joe Pasquale, Pixie Lott), it'll have a title that means nothing, and you know that you probably wouldn't get on with anyone who really likes it.

Having interviewed him a couple of times, we know Manford has good taste in comedy. Unfortunately, he's never going to be able to display that taste and will probably have to settle for being a wittier Peter Kay-lite. Imagine having to introduce Scouting For Girls as a career: it's no job for a man.