Benidorm

Joan Collins sweeps into the Solana to the mighty strains of Carl Orff's O Fortuna from Carmina Burana, setting the scene for some mighty tearing off of strips as she's playing the hotel's feared CEO Crystal Hennessy-Vass.

But she turns out to be something of a pussycat in a cameo turn that adds a touch of class to the finale of the cheap and cheerful Spanish holiday comedy drama that's been an orange or two short of the full sangria this time round.

Radio Times review

Joan Collins is in town for a guest-spot that's been a few years in the pipeline - she's a huge fan of the show, but you have to wonder if she's struggled with this ropy sixth series as much as its other devotees surely have.

La Collins rocks up in full Dynasty drag as Crystal Hennessy-Vass, chain-smoking CEO of the Solana Group, and she's none too pleased with manageress Joyce's track record. Her comic timing is impeccable, of course, but sadly Crystal swans off at the halfway mark. (The star, now 80, was only available on set for three days.)

The rest of this finale is a muddle, skewed by peculiar cameos: TV chef Rustie Lee, an ebullient presence whose inane guffawing quickly palls; and the Krankies (former swingers in real life) as legends in the Costa Blanca swinging scene.

A seventh series is about to shoot but Benidorm urgently needs to polish its wares.

Radio Times review

Among this week's treats are a poolside spit-roast and a pork-gobbling contest... Now, now! Don't misconstrue. This is Benidorm but an actual pig is involved. Unfortunately it's a carcass sourced by Cyril (Matthew Kelly) from a butcher's dumpster, and the meat snarfed down is soon challenging the bowels of even the hardiest, lardiest Solana fun-seekers. This is the level of humour (and it made me snigger).

Meanwhile, Tonya insults Janice in the spa, love is in the air (and water) for Michael, and bilious Madge is being uncommonly pleasant to all - are her days really numbered? Surely, no one would be silly enough to ditch that creosoted mini-marvel, Sheila Reid.

Radio Times review

A return to form this week as Joyce takes some time off and bumps into old flame Cyril (Matthew Kelly), whose fortunes have taken a nose dive. She leaves Leslie, the normally affable transvestite, in charge of the Solana and the power instantly goes to his head - an implausible transformation, but it taps into Tim Healy's comic potential. He's never been funnier.

Meanwhile, Donald and Jacqueline take Big Donna's ashes on a last hurrah through town, and Madge has some startling news for Mick and Janice. It's a busy, farcical episode that even has room for a cameo from Janet Street-Porter.

This package comedy is close to its final departure. There aren't many more laughs to be squeezed out of the ageing swingers or the gay hairdresser, and most of us are only watching for the promised cameo by Joan Collins: she's due to turn up as the Hotel Solano's glitzy chief exec.

But some of the performances are too good to miss. Tim Healy, as the cross-dressing dogsbody Lesley, was hilarious last night when his boss put him in charge for a day and warned: 'With great office comes great responsibility. Here are the keys to the vending machines.'

Power went to Lesley's head, which was missing its bouffant wig. He became a Little Hitler, sacking the staff and dragooning the guests' children to run the hotel; meanwhile, his wig had been washed up on the beach where it was mistaken for a decapitated head.

Lesley ought to try a beehive wig. It might give him extra stature.

Emerging from the boozy fug of a forgotten night alongside Clive's daughter Bianca, on the morning of her birthday, Martin is shocked to learn that her cake won't contain quite as many candles as he'd assumed. Over at the salon, perpetual dim bulb Liam discovers the elderly customer slumped motionless beneath a dryer is every bit as lifeless as her inexpertly coiffured hair, while a beach volleyball tournament by the Solana pool coaxes the Stewarts into revisiting their past as galácticos of the Middlesbrough volleyball scene.

Radio Times review

A pensioner expires under the hairdryer in Blow 'n' Go, leaving Kenneth and Liam in a pickle. Drippy Martin wakes up after the stag do in bed with (he believes) a teenage girl. Donald and Jacqueline, cavorting in lycra and anti-grav boots, take on the lads, Michael and Tiger, in a beach-volleyball contest. And Tonya Dyke (magnificent Hannah Waddingham) resorts to Abba at the karaoke to get the better of oily Mateo.

Sounds a riot, doesn't it? But apart from the odd racy line, Benidorm is creaking like an old banger in need of lubrication. The Garveys (Steve Pemberton, Siobhan Finneran and Sheila Reid - all of them a gift to any writer) deserve better material.

Benidorm: series 6 episode 4, ITV, review

The ITV sitcom Benidorm grows more grotesque and preposterous with each passing year, says Terry Ramsey.

Radio Times review

This show doesn't get any smarter or any less coarse, but its fans would despair if it did. Donald and Jacqueline, the pensionable swingers, get away with some eye-watering innuendo, which is chokingly funny if you like that sort of thing. Tonight, Jacqueline has to step in at short notice for Sticky Vicky, Benidorm's notorious, real-life veteran entertainer. But will Tacky Jacky's "private showing" leave Martin's stag party scarred for life?

Meanwhile, very camp but straight Liam is questioning his masculinity. Adam Gillen, who plays the lovelorn simpleton, is an unsung comedy genius - but then it's always been
the wonderful performances that sell Benidorm.

Seven years in and still no respite for the Solana staffers, beckoning sun-seeking grotesques for a sixth series. The Garveys make their way back to the resort and are soon on a collision course with first-time visitors the Dykes, an intermingling most unlikely to result in reciprocal dinner parties back in Blighty. As ever, cosy but predictable fare that has possibly been out in the sun for a little too long now. But as "Brits abroad" comedy-dramas go, still preferable to Mitchell and Webb's snoresome Ambassadors.