Rubberbandits interview
The Almost Impossible Gameshow is back for a second series. BCG chats to Blindboy Boatclub and Mr Chrome - aka the Rubberbandits, the duo who provide the commentary for the show. We're not entirely sure all their answers to our questions are definitely based in the realms of fact. Judge for yourself...
Hi Gents. For those that don't know you, could we start of by asking you to describe who you are...
We are the Rubberbandits, we are practicing artists of the movement known as Gascuntism. Our work is a metamodern treatise on the post internet human condition .
Er, why do you always wear plastic bags on your heads?
We wear plastic bags because life is meaningless and the only inevitability is death.
It costs 5p a time now for a bag...
We refuse to wear British bags and would consider it an act of treason, we only wear Irish bags. Which are actually more expensive than British bags, costing a whopping 26 cents.
The Almost Impossible Game Show is back for a second series. You must be happy to be back behind the mics?
Our locus of evaluation is internal, as such we are indifferent to external stimuli or anything which can be viewed subjectively as either a success or failure. With the exception of tart lemonade or a nice cloud... but not cloudy lemonade, which is an effrontery to our palates. We enjoy drinking tart lemonade and scanning clouds for erotic patterns. This is the only pleasure we allow ourselves, such is our strict asceticism.
What can we expect from the TV show this time... more of the same, lots of pratfalls?
Loads of English people falling over, then us laughing at them falling over. It is a somber ballet that strikes the hidden melodies of humankinds ultimate isolation and aloneness.
Which of the games is your favourite, and why, please?
Crotch Catch because it's based on real events that took place during the battle of Stamford Bridge 1066.
Have you ever tried any of the challenges yourself?
No, unfortunately. The games look like so much fun, that we are both afraid to try them out. To participate in The Almost Impossible Gameshow would be so exciting that it would be the apex of pleasure in our lives up to that point. Therefore, all future life events, could then only be measured against that pleasure, leading to persistent disappointment until our inevitable demise. So, for this reason, we refuse to participate.
Some thrills are best left unexperienced. We want nothing more exciting than tart lemonade and erotic clouds. That's as far as we will go.
Do you have any idea how the show gets its contestants?
The head office in ITV has a golden retriever with magnets selotaped to his paws. Prospective contestants are asked what their favourite metal or mineral is. Depending on the answer, a sample of that metal or mineral is placed in a large plastic punnet, with many others. The retriever lowers his magnetised paws into this punnet, naturally only ferromagnetic minerals will attach themselves to his paws. Successful contestants will have picked the likes of Nickel, Cobalt or even a rare earth alloy. Unsuccessful contestants will have foolishly chosen Tungsten, Copper or Beryllium.
What's next for you?
We don't know. We'll probably do a puppet show and only talk about it on the deep web. Or else get caught masturbating in a cinema to advertise it or something. We're easy going, we'll take whatever job we can get.
We've noticed from his Twitter feed that Frankie Boyle is a fan of your work. Have you become friends with him yet?
Ya, we met Frankie by accident last year. We attended a steam fair in Torquay. Frankie's car had broken down on the roadside. So we syphoned paraffin from an old lamp and spat it into his petrol tank. It didn't work, but we became friends nonetheless.
The Almost Impossible Gameshow is on ITV2 on Wednesdays at 9pm.