Alan Carr: Chatty Man

Alan Carr is proof that TV sometimes does inexplicably awful things. At best Carr is tumbleweed, grinning and flapping as he rolls across the light entertainment schedules. At worst he is a cackling banshee, making everything a point of camp pride. Which makes it the more remarkable that Channel 4 has brought him back for this, yet another series of his charmless chat show. His line-up of guests tonight is somehow fitting: Russell Brand, he of the preeningly verbose stand-up routines and Sachs-bothering phone calls; Pamela Anderson, who in the early Nineties filled the lead bimbo role in Baywatch; and the cast of Glee, the shrilly hyperactive musical comedy series broadcast on E4.

Video: Alan Carr's homage to The Birds

Alan Carr gets all dressed up for a photo shoot. The Chatty Man host, who's a keen bird watcher, does his version of a scene from Alfred Hitchcock's classic film The Birds.

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It's easier to define Alan Carr by what he isn't. He isn't quite Graham Norton, which means he's not hysterically shrill and often in Canary Wharf Waitrose. He isn't Justin Lee Collins, which means that he's not disliked on sight by 80 percent of the population. He isn't a great writer, but he has a warm persona which means that his stand-up is unthreatening and extremely popular. More importantly, he isn't egotistical so he's not a bad chat show host.

Chatty Man is over reliant on Norton-esque games (has anyone ever liked them? Ever?). It is at its best when Alan relaxes and natters with his guests, using the Kirsty Young method to unthreateningly coax some fairly good stuff out of them. All that is by the by, however as tonight's special guest is Ricky Gervais, who seems to be on a mission to become the most correctly despised person in Britain.

Speaking of countdowns: what exactly was going on with Alan Carr: Chatty Man New Year's Special, seemingly the only other New Year's programme that broadcasters were willing to make available in time to review? It was not, in itself, a particularly unusual choice of New Year's Eve scheduling, what with Jools Holland and Graham Norton doing the honours on BBC1 and BBC2, it only seemed right that an equally popular host was chosen for Channel 4. What is rather peculiar is the fact that last night wasn't in fact, the first time the programme had aired. It rang in the New Year on the 29th as well. Still, those forced to watch it twice could have fared worse. Carr's always a charming host, and the slightly random theme of a 1980s party (was it all to coincide with Spandau Ballet's appearance?) made it feel, if nothing else, rather festive. Still, with jokes like these ("It's all right being Dr Who but Dr Who?") perhaps a slightly longer break between airings might have been helpful.

Alan Carr is so keen-as-mustard, so effervescently eager-to-please, he has rushed out this New Year's Eve special two days early. And it's a classy edition to round off the series: Carr is joined by the brightest twinkling star of this year's Christmas television, David Tennant, who will be discussing his performance in his final episodes of Doctor Who, though no doubt remaining resolutely tight-lipped on the plot details. Davina McCall also drops by to discuss the last-ever Celebrity Big Brother (coming soon - be warned) and music comes from Spandau Ballet.

The first series of Chatty Man was a winner and Mariah Carey lets her celebrity hair down (metaphorically speaking) when she has the honour of being Alan's very first A-list guest for the start of his second series. Will Mariah get Alan's waspish sense of humour? Will she even understand him? It promises to be a legendary collision of two worlds, like the time our cuddly host invited Martina Navratilova to join him for a game of swingball.

Mariah's also going to be performing her single I Want To Know What Love Is and plugging her new movie Precious, which is said to be brilliant. By contrast, Alan's other guest, Never Mind The Buzzcocks' captain Noel Fielding, looks like a much safer, more predictable option and it must be the first time he's ever been called that.

Personally, I found Alan Carr's recent statement that gay men make the best chatshow hosts because they are "gossipy" rather annoying - not only because it relies on a particular stereotype, but also because it would imply that Graham Norton is better in the field than Jonathan Ross. For all his faults, Wossy still has the edge on that score. That said, the last series of Carr's show was often hilarious with the right guests. Whether Noel Fielding and Mariah Carey fit into that category, we'll have to wait and see.

Chat will eat itself

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