Pope Lonergan slams treatment of carers as he publishes memoir
- Comedian Pope Lonergan is to publish I'll Die After Bingo in June, an account of his decade as a care worker
- In the book, he recounts the poor pay, emotional toll and exhaustion he endured, which was exacerbated by Covid-19
- He says: "I'm now a full-time comedian. And I get paid more to stand onstage talking about my foreskin than to keep another human being alive"
Comedian and former care worker Pope Lonergan has blasted the treatment of care home staff during the coronavirus pandemic, as he launches his memoir about working in the sector, I'll Die After Bingo.
The comic has spent a decade looking after the elderly. And in his first book, he recounts the reality of life in a care home, the "trivial and petty acts of insubordination [that] can have a positive impact on a work shift" and the "understaffing, exhaustion and emotional toll, yet also the funny stories, heart-warming moments and the friendships formed with residents".
I'll Die After Bingo, published on June 16th by Ebury Press (That Moment When by Mo Gilligan, Misfits: A Personal Manifesto by Michaela Coel), also recounts Lonergan's struggles with his mental health and recovery from drug addiction.
"As care workers we were told the PPE deficit was a myth" he told British Comedy Guide. "Or, if we 'believed' we were running low, to use it more sparingly, even though official guidance - and common sense - dictates that we change gloves and aprons whenever we move on to another resident. We sacrificed our breaks. We worked back-to-back 14-hour shifts. And still we were asked to isolate certain residents 'without leaving them on their own' - that was a genuine directive issued by upper management."
Offering insight into the impact of privatisation and slashed budgets on the sector, Lonergan reflects on how he and his colleagues were treated as "dispensable, even though most care companies are running year-long recruitment drives 'because it's impossible to get anyone in'.
"Who wants to wipe arses, wear haemorrhoids as cufflinks, while earning minimum wage?" he said. "The fault lines of the social care sector that were exposed by the pandemic came as a shock to some people. But us carers have known about its critical condition for a long, long time.
"I'm now a full-time comedian. And I get paid more to stand onstage talking about my foreskin than to keep another human being alive. People offered discounts to NHS workers, who absolutely deserve it, but didn't give a fuck about the care workers who don't meet that criteria. And as most care homes are run by private companies, that applies to the majority of care workers. 'You pay full price, Arse Hands!'"
Hundreds of care homes in England currently remain closed to relatives because of Covid outbreaks, despite the government promising the return of "unlimited visiting" from Monday.
Last week the Department of Health and Social Care scrapped rules put in place in December that restricted visits.
However, 534 care homes in England reported Covid outbreaks to the UK Health Security Agency in the third week of January and many remain locked down to all but essential caregivers, with one designated person per resident allowed in.
The DHSC said last Thursday that from 31 January there would be "no limit on the number of visitors", adding that "self-isolation periods will be cut and now care homes only have to follow outbreak management rules for 14 rather than 28 days".
Lonergan, who created and hosted The Care Home Tour, in which he and other comics performed for residents in homes, and the night Pope's Addiction Clinic, in which comedians share stories of their addictions, brings his work-in-progress show Bangin' On to the Leicester Comedy Festival on February 17th and 18th.
Pope Lonergan - I'll Die After Bingo: The Unlikely Story Of My Decade As A Care Home Assistant
Resident: I feel I want to keep talking.
Me: Of course! What do you want to talk about?
Resident: My heart.
Me: What about your heart?
Resident: I feel I want to touch it.
Me: Your heart? You want to touch your heart?
Resident: Yes, but I'm too frightened.
Me: What are you frightened about?
Resident: Everything. People. Things.
Me: What's frightening you at this very moment?
Resident: (Closes eyes). That I'll never be touched again. That I won't be able to get to my heart.
Me: Metaphorically?
Resident: More carrots please.
Whether he's initiating a coup d'état against new regulations with the residents, or forging a bond with the 98-year old who once called him a fat slut, Pope Lonergan work is infinitely varied. This no-holds-barred account shows what life inside a care home is really like, for both residents and carers. Featuring night-time drama, incontinence pads and the uniquely dark humour of one double-amputee Alzheimer's patient, here you can learn everything you ever wanted to know (and a few things you probably really didn't) about Britain's care system.
This important memoir challenges us all to think differently about the value of our elderly, and also the carers who look after them.
First published: Thursday 16th June 2022
- Publisher: Ebury Press
- Pages: 320
- Catalogue: 9781529109337
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- Publisher: Ebury Press
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