Schedule Friday 14th September 2018

Twirlywoos

The Twirlywoos watch a horse going over a jump and try to have a go themselves. Meanwhile, back in the Boat, the Stop-Go Car visits Peekaboo and they play a game of leapfrog.

Winston

The old rogue is set to wed Nancy at last, but how will they tie the knot?

Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!

When Gnasher gnashes Walter's portrait, he gets revenge with a titanium sausage that leaves Gnasher toothless and miserable. Dennis and the gang decide to stage a heist to 'borrow' some diamonds until Gnasher's teeth grow back!

Porterhouse Blue

With a view to ending the new Master's regime, the Dean and Sir Cathcart D'Eath encourage television journalist Cornelius Carrington to make a documentary about the College.

They haven't reckoned on Carrington's methods, or on Skullion's gift for 'television verite'. And nobody - not even Skullion himself - has reckoned on the head porter achieving an indelible place in the history of Porterhouse.

Danger Mouse

Brunel, the crazed time-travelling Victorian gentlechimp, is back and determined to change history so Danger Mouse and Penfold never meet.

Michael Frayn's Matchbox Theatre

Short entertainments based on Frayn's acclaimed book of comic dialogues and monologues. Including a controlling theatre director, who thinks he can direct anything, and two people talk to each other on their mobiles, yards apart.

Gert And Daisy's Week-end

Wartime comedy about a pair of sisters accompanying a group of children to the country.

Go Jetters

A giant Grandmaster Glitch means big trouble for the Giant's Causeway - can the Go Jetters stop him in his tracks?

Class Dismissed

Billy and Tahj are excited about going on a school trip, while some unusual supply teachers teach those left behind.

I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again

The team sets out to cause offence, plus high drama on the rails.

Lucky Feller

Shy Shorty plucks up courage to ask his new-found girlfriend Kath out for the evening - and has thought of a place to have a special meal...

Doctor In The House

Sir Lancelot Spratt causes alarm for medic Simon Sparrow in the operating theatre.

Justin's House

When the power goes off in Justin's House, Justin and Robert must learn to work together to get the lights and TV working again in order to watch their favourite TV programmes.

Lucky Feller

It's Mother's Day, so Shorty has arranged for he, mum and Randy to take a trip down to Brighton. Unfortunately their train breaks down en route, but Shorty's more than enamoured with the female company they're sharing their compartment with.

Goodnight Sweetheart

The route that Gary uses to get back to 1941 has become a row of shops.

Hank Zipzer

A selection of episodes of the first series of the children's comedy starring Henry Winkler.

Jest A Minute

Greg Davies, Eggsy, Lloyd Langford and Chris Corcoran join Rhod Gilbert for the comedy quiz from Cardiff.

Sooty

The prizes have disappeared from Mr Slater's new crazy golf course, and Richard is puzzled. Then the famous detectives Sherlock Sooty and Doctor Watsit are called in to investigate - and set a trap to catch the thief. Guest starring Matthew Corbett.

Goodnight Sweetheart

In the run-up to New Year's Eve, Gary worries about finding a way to see in the New Year with both Phoebe and Yvonne. Then Mrs Bloss threatens to chuck him out of his bedsit.

A Sharp Intake Of Breath

A leaky washing machine is only the start of the Barnes's problems. Peter's attempt to acquire the necessary replacement part is easier said than done, especially with British Rail involved.

Sooty

Richard has booked a circus to entertain the guests but it hasn't arrived, so Sooty asks the owner of the bird garden to save the day with his clever budgies.

Elephants To Catch Eels

Tamsyn and Jago's smuggling exploits are to be chronicled by a group of fly-on-the-wall balladeers.

Minder

Ex-con Ernie leaves prison after fourteen years with a quarter of a million stashed away in a bank. Enter the ever-helpful Arthur.

Twirlywoos

The Twirlywoos find themselves in a sports hall. They watch a gymnast dance whilst twirling a ribbon. Toodloo copies the gymnast, twirling a ribbon. Chickedy and Chick join in and Great BigHoo tries too but he ends up twirling his ribbon around Toodloo, Chickedy and Chick.

Lovejoy

Lovejoy and Lady Jane fall out over a royal dinner service belonging to a Belgian countess. Meanwhile, Gimbert is out for revenge.

Last Of The Summer Wine

A selection of episodes from the 22nd series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.

Mr Bean

Mr Bean meets the Queen during a visit to Buckingham Palace to replace his favourite, but broken, mug.

Lucky Feller

With a wedding finally in the air and a certain urgent matter to be settled, Kath has persuaded Shorty to take her to Bournemouth for a trial weekend. But they take a wrong turning...

Mr Bean

When did Mr Bean first meet his teddy bear? Did he really learn to drive his Mini at the age of ten? He takes us on a journey into the past.

I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again

The team sets out to cause offence, plus high drama on the rails.

Doctor In The House

Sir Lancelot Spratt causes alarm for medic Simon Sparrow in the operating theatre.

Only Fools And Horses

A selection of three episodes of Britain's most popular sitcom.

Three Men In A Boat

Adaptation of Jerome K. Jerome's comic novel.

Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em

Frank and Betty take to the clifftops for a picnic.

4 O'Clock Club

Nero and Dexter relive their most iconic scenes on the show. Jason reveals his slapstick secrets and the cast spill the beans on how they do the raps. Also, there's a chance to look round the brand new set.

Twirlywoos

The Twirlywoos find themselves in a sports hall. They watch a gymnast dance whilst twirling a ribbon. Toodloo copies the gymnast, twirling a ribbon. Chickedy and Chick join in and Great BigHoo tries too but he ends up twirling his ribbon around Toodloo, Chickedy and Chick.

Millie Inbetween

Something seems wrong with Mike - and Millie discovers that he's lost his job at the gym. Can the girls find Mike a new job before mum finds out the truth?

'Allo 'Allo!

With the resistance running low on funds, Michelle orders René to tunnel into Herr Flick's headquarters and steal the Fallen Madonna from his safe. Meanwhile, the newspaper is looking to crown a local woman the 'Spirit of Nouvion'.

Zig And Zag

Zig and Zag think they need to learn manners. However, they accidentally enrol themselves on an obedience class for dogs.

Goodnight Sweetheart

The route that Gary uses to get back to 1941 has become a row of shops.

Strange Hill High

Ordered to tidy up a science lab by Abercrombie, Becky is distracted by an array of school pets in cages. Mitchell and Templeton are more interested in a Matter Transmogrifier - and there are soon giant rabbits roaming the halls.

Diddy TV

More posh cat drama in Downton Moggy and 'live' nature coverage in Guffwatch.

Goodnight Sweetheart

In the run-up to New Year's Eve, Gary worries about finding a way to see in the New Year with both Phoebe and Yvonne. Then Mrs Bloss threatens to chuck him out of his bedsit.

Jest A Minute

Greg Davies, Eggsy, Lloyd Langford and Chris Corcoran join Rhod Gilbert for the comedy quiz from Cardiff.

Shine On Harvey Moon

Harvey decides he wants to marry Harriet, but she opts to stay in Holland. Lou contracts TB. Rita's date turns out to be a murderer!

Last Of The Summer Wine

A selection of episodes from the 22nd series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.

Elephants To Catch Eels

Tamsyn and Jago's smuggling exploits are to be chronicled by a group of fly-on-the-wall balladeers.

Bitz & Bob

Bitz, Bob and Purl are on a treasure hunt in Big Hot Sandy Desert.

Lovejoy

Lovejoy and Lady Jane fall out over a royal dinner service belonging to a Belgian countess. Meanwhile, Gimbert is out for revenge.

Winston

The old rogue is set to wed Nancy at last, but how will they tie the knot?

Go Jetters

Grandmaster Glitch is drilling into the ground below the ocean near Academy Island, looking for bubbly mud that is heated up by an underground volcano.

Michael Frayn's Matchbox Theatre

Short entertainments based on Frayn's acclaimed book of comic dialogues and monologues. Including a controlling theatre director, who thinks he can direct anything, and two people talk to each other on their mobiles, yards apart.

'Allo 'Allo!

With the resistance running low on funds, Michelle orders René to tunnel into Herr Flick's headquarters and steal the Fallen Madonna from his safe. Meanwhile, the newspaper is looking to crown a local woman the 'Spirit of Nouvion'.

Danger Mouse

Pink Dawn's henchman teddy bear Snuggles is on an angry rampage. He is zapping cuddly toys, bringing them to life as rage-filled criminals.

Still Open All Hours

Granville plans a double date with Madge and Mavis but needs to find a way to smarten up Gastric. There's more romance in the air as Mrs Featherstone has her heart set on a new husband and Nurse Gladys is wooed by a former patient, Mick, whose boil she once attended to. Meanwhile, a mysterious new product from the Far East arrives which needs some clever marketing to Eric and Cyril.

Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em

Frank and Betty take to the clifftops for a picnic.

Zig And Zag

Zig and Zag think they need to learn manners. However, they accidentally enrol themselves on an obedience class for dogs.

Scream Street

Desperate to be a true vampire, Resus makes a wish at a wishing well, only to find out that the wishing well is evil and his parents are now normals! Can he reverse his wish before the Negatives are banished from Scream Street forever.

Mr Bean

Mr Bean meets the Queen during a visit to Buckingham Palace to replace his favourite, but broken, mug.

Horrible Histories

HHTV News reports live from the Battle of Thermopylae, Celt housewives find decorative uses for severed heads and we learn the revolting truth about Roman toilets.

I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again

The team sets out to cause offence, plus high drama on the rails.

Still Open All Hours

Granville buys a large display item to inject sunshine into shop life on the day of Kevin's wedding. However, Kevin is the world's most reluctant bridegroom.

Mr Bean

When did Mr Bean first meet his teddy bear? Did he really learn to drive his Mini at the age of ten? He takes us on a journey into the past.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Clegg knows there is trouble ahead when Howard tells him to expect a postal delivery that he doesn't want Pearl to know about.

Doctor In The House

Sir Lancelot Spratt causes alarm for medic Simon Sparrow in the operating theatre.

Only Fools And Horses

In an effort to bolster the Church Roof Fund, Del "discovers" a miracle of his own and informs the world press.

Have I Got News For You

With guest host Jack Dee, and panellists Joan Bakewell and Mark Watson.

Millie Inbetween

Dad has a date with Amber, who the girls think is way out of his league - so they decide to give his image a radical makeover. Meanwhile, Craig ruins mum's plan to create a new sausage sensation for Sunnyshopper, but then has second thoughts and tries to help turn things around.

David Jason: My Life On Screen

Episode 2 charts Sir David's transition from comedy sidekick to major TV star and follows his attempts to make the breakthrough as a leading man on sitcoms.

A League Of Their Own

The BAFTA-winning sports/comedy show continues. Featuring guests Josh Widdicombe, Kevin Pietersen and Joe Hart.

Michael McIntyre's Showtime

TV broadcast of Michael McIntyre's number one best-selling 2012 stand-up DVD.

Doc Martin

Martin wakes up to an empty bed. When he goes looking for Louisa he discovers she is trying to write her resignation letter.

Only Fools And Horses

It's the Nags Head's annual jamboree down to Margate and the Trotters head for the seaside. But with Rodney getting arrested and the coach blowing up the trip is hardly a bundle of laughs...

Russell Brand: Messiah Complex

TV edit of Russell Brand's 2013 stand-up show.

Michael Frayn's Matchbox Theatre

Short entertainments based on Frayn's acclaimed book of comic dialogues and monologues. Including a controlling theatre director, who thinks he can direct anything, and two people talk to each other on their mobiles, yards apart.

Goodness Gracious Me

Episode 3: Bhangraman must save the world, plus the downside of keeping a cow as a family pet.

The Jonathan Ross Show

Jonathan Ross is joined by double Oscar-winning actor Cate Blanchett; star of Jumanji, Kung Fu Panda and School of Rock, Jack Black; Diversity dancing supremo Ashley Banjo; from the new Hatton Garden heist movie King of Thieves, Ray Winstone and Paul Whitehouse; the BAFTA award-winning Joanna Lumley; and iconic multi-platinum selling singer and musician John Legend.

Outnumbered

Karen recreates The Apprentice, Ben takes a close interest in Dad's medical tests, Mum thinks Jake's healthy interest in girls is becoming unhealthy, and the ghost of John McEnroe hovers over Dad's Saturday morning game of tennis. Karen decides to sort things out.

Rubbish

Episode 6, Outsourcing: Local government officer Martin ends up as acting head, but is soon out of his depth.

Mock The Week

Dara O Briain and Hugh Dennis look back on another week's worth of news in the company of guests Tom Allen, Ed Byrne, Rhys James, Milton Jones and Deborah Frances-White.

8 Out Of 10 Cats

With guests Kelly Hoppen, Louis Smith, Henning Wehn and David O'Doherty.

House Of Fools

The housemates have to deal with a giant monster-moth with an insatiable appetite.

QI

With Linda Smith, Sean Lock and Clive Anderson.

The Party Party

Episode 4: No one in Microcosm notices that the quiz show Narrator has gone missing.

Outnumbered

Dad is suffering from a terrible hangover, and it seems worse as he struggles against the issues of his family.

Friday Night Dinner

It's Mum's birthday and she's having a surprise party for 44 guests. Only snag is - she's secretly organised it herself!

QI

With Jeremy Clarkson, Jason Manford and Sara Pascoe.

House Of Fools

Vic and Bob are practising their special moves for the big Danceathon at Julie's Bistro.

Have I Got News For You

Team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop are joined by guest host Kirsty Young and guest panellists Max Keiser and Tony Law.

8 Out Of 10 Cats

Host Jimmy Carr and team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson select their favourite bits from the last series for this special compilation show.

Bad Education

It's Abbey Grove sports day. Fraser has hired the most inappropriate new sports teacher to oversee events - Preet.

Friday Night Dinner

While clearing up the loft, Dad finds his old, terrifying-looking ventriloquist dummy Lord Luck.

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Garth Marenghi, the world-famous horror author, introduces his long-lost television project: a haunting medial drama set in Romford. New doctor Liz Asher is tipped off by a psychic cat that there's darkness in Darkplace. So, when a patient mysteriously dies, Dr. Rick Dagless M.D. must scalpel-up and fight The Forces of Evil (which involves attempting to close a standard-sized hell-mouth beneath Romford). Contains mild swearing and the naked top-half of a man.

Bad Education

Martin Wickers's attempts to teach Alfie to drive end in disaster when they run over the school caretaker.

QI

With David Baddiel, Cariad Lloyd and Ross Noble.

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

When the hospital chef is savagely attacked by a ladle, all eyes point to an unknown attacker at loose in the wards. But why are objects flying about of their own accord, attacking innocent civilians and disrupting hospital procedure? Dr. Rick Dagless M.D., played by Garth Marenghi himself, bravely investigates.

Da Ali G Show

Ali investigates American television and interviews Labour politician Roy Hattersley. The Message looks at issues surrounding family, and Chrissie Hynde performs.

Joel & Nish Vs The World

Joel and Nish venture to Mexico to the land of Tarahumara; the legendary tribe people of north-western Mexico who are renowned for their long distance running ability, which Joel will attempt to achieve.

Limmy's Show!

Lovable ex-junkie Jacqueline McCafferty meets her hero, but doesn't make things easy for herself; and The Secret Agents meet on a park bench with their newspapers.

Shine On Harvey Moon

Harvey decides he wants to marry Harriet, but she opts to stay in Holland. Lou contracts TB. Rita's date turns out to be a murderer!

Hang Ups

Mounting pressure from Neil forces Richard to make big decisions without Karen's knowledge. Arguments over Maggie's future culminate in them realising she is in fact missing, and clients unexpectedly turning up on the doorstep leaves Richard wondering if maybe he shouldn't have enjoyed himself quite so much at Ricky's party.

Limmy's Show!

Pinky-pointing psychic medium Raymond Day brings shocking news from the other side about a boyfriend, and the 1950s drug experimenter Larry Forsyth tries out Vantage.

No Offence

A contentious mayoral election is being fought between incumbent liberal Kashif Hassan and political underdog and local-girl-done-good Caroline McCoy.

Lovejoy

Lovejoy and Lady Jane fall out over a royal dinner service belonging to a Belgian countess. Meanwhile, Gimbert is out for revenge.

House Of Fools

The housemates have to deal with a giant monster-moth with an insatiable appetite.

Duck Quacks Don't Echo

Journalist and radio presenter John Humphrys, Irish stand-up comedian Ed Byrne and Humans and The IT Crowd actress Katherine Parkinson all join Lee Mack for his fun and fact-filled panel show.

8 Out Of 10 Cats

Jimmy, Sean and Jon are joined by guests Tess Daly, Stephen Mangan, Kian Egan and Tony Law to thrash out the hot topics of the week.

House Of Fools

Vic and Bob are practising their special moves for the big Danceathon at Julie's Bistro.

Jest A Minute

Greg Davies, Eggsy, Lloyd Langford and Chris Corcoran join Rhod Gilbert for the comedy quiz from Cardiff.

Elephants To Catch Eels

Tamsyn and Jago's smuggling exploits are to be chronicled by a group of fly-on-the-wall balladeers.

Winston

The old rogue is set to wed Nancy at last, but how will they tie the knot?

Michael Frayn's Matchbox Theatre

Short entertainments based on Frayn's acclaimed book of comic dialogues and monologues. Including a controlling theatre director, who thinks he can direct anything, and two people talk to each other on their mobiles, yards apart.