Schedule Wednesday 8th October 2014

The Upper Hand

It's Charlie and Joanna's first Christmas in Henley, but despite a big bonus Charlie has still taken on a second job to make ends meet. Caroline's concerned that he may be funding a dirty little secret...

The Two Ronnies

Hugely popular and long-running sketch show that established Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker as two of the biggest names in British comedy.

Absolute Power

When Martin persuades Charles to accompany him to Devon, Clive is left in charge of the government's Healthy Eating campaign. Will the company survive with Clive in charge, and more importantly, will Charles survive without the cut and thrust of London?

Jeremy Hardy Speaks To The Nation

Jeremy Hardy attempts to understand citizenship, to examine the state and to spell surveillance.

Sorry!

Timothy Lumsden, although bright, sharp and witty, is poor (at best) with the fairer sex - he's also stuck living with his cruel, domineering mother.

The Burkiss Way

The best of Bruce Forsyth.

The Burkiss Way

Long ago in a radio galaxy far away with some space film spoofing.

I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again

London bus gospel, and a visit to Nibbling-on-the-Bone.

Timmy Time

Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.

The Unbelievable Truth

Tony Hawks, Arthur Smith, Phill Jupitus and Catherine Tate talk about Hats, Pigeons, Hairdressers and Admiral Lord Nelson.

Dani's House

Dani's convinced Ben's new girlfriend is a bully, and is determined to prove it by making the girl's life a misery! Meanwhile Maisy sets out to prove she can scare Jack - but he vows that it is impossible.

Legal, Decent, Honest And Truthful

Episode 3.2: Leg model April's snoring inspires ad man Ken's quest to win a nasal spray account.

The Revolting World Of Stanley Brown

Archie travels back to the future to graduate from school but must first convince the mysterious headmaster that he has given up time travelling. Series finale featuring all the best bits from the series.

Bottom Knocker Street

A spate of magpie disappearances leads the kids to test their investigative skills.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Ivy has no faith in her nephew's capability to run the cafe in her absence so she closes down for the day. But she hasn't reckoned on the goodwill and expertise of Foggy who, with the unskilled assistance of Compo and Clegg, will not only run the cafe, but clean the paintwork above the front window....

Bottom Knocker Street

The kids come up with a plan to raise one hundred million pounds for their city farm.

Sooty

Sweep is scared of the water and cannot reach his frisbee when it lands in the sea. Luckily Richard is giving swimming lessons at the holiday park, and Sooty wants Sweep to join in. Will Sweep take the plunge and overcome his fears?

Roy

Roy and friends are building a rabbit hutch, but Roy's eagerness destroys it and the team fires him. Bill employs Roy on a decorating job which also ends badly. Can Roy repair the damage and make up with his mates?

'Allo 'Allo!

Upon hearing that Denise has escaped, René disguises himself as his own father and searches for a safe hiding place. With the café machine-gunned, Denise's followers capture René - but it is not him she is out to get.

Mr Bean

Envious of all the attention his landlady receives when she breaks her leg, Mr Bean pretends to break his leg too. Then in hospital, he encounters the matron from hell!

Keeping Up Appearances

Hyacinth agrees to meet the Ladies' Luncheon Club special guest at the railway station, but the assignment proves more difficult than she imagined.

Mr Bean

While trying to redecorate the hall, Bean is obstructed at every turn by his landlady's vile one-eyed cat. Bean pops it in the dustbin to keep it out of the way for a while. Just his luck that it is rubbish collection day.

Porridge

The prisoners look forward to a more relaxed life when Mr Mackay leaves - but he's soon replaced by Wainwright, the toughest screw in the system. When he moves Mr. Barrowclough from the cells to the prison farm, the inmates decide enough is enough.

The Burkiss Way

The best of Bruce Forsyth.

The Burkiss Way

Long ago in a radio galaxy far away with some space film spoofing.

I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again

London bus gospel, and a visit to Nibbling-on-the-Bone.

The Two Ronnies

Hugely popular and long-running sketch show that established Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker as two of the biggest names in British comedy.

The Liver Birds

Beryl's sister, Gloria, is due to get married. Beryl's none too pleased with her bridesmaid's dress, but when both Gloria and her fiancé, Ernie, decide to call it off, she changes her tune.

Sorry!

Timothy Lumsden, although bright, sharp and witty, is poor (at best) with the fairer sex - he's also stuck living with his cruel, domineering mother.

To The Manor Born

Following the death of her husband, Audrey fforbes-Hamilton discovers that their large country estate is almost bankrupt, and is told that she has no option other than to sell up.

Roy

Rather than confess to Hammond that he scared off a substitute teacher, Roy pretends to be his uncle, teacher Troy O'Brien. He maintains the facade but Miss Sheringham is suspicious. Can she prove Roy and Troy are the same person?

Roy

Clip show. A school board member pays a visit to assess Roy. Everyone fears that Roy will be kicked out of Ballyfermot because of his chequered history at the school. Can the pupils and teachers save their favourite cartoon friend?

Birds Of A Feather

As it remains their only change of going on holiday, Sharon and Tracey participate in a karaoke competition.

Hancock's Half Hour

Aaah...the Alps, the fresh air, fantastic scenery, peace and quiet, the yodellers...

Shaun The Sheep

The cockerel is missing and there's no one to wake up the farm. When Shaun discovers the cockerel has been snatched by the greedy fox, he sets off with Bitzer on a daring rescue mission. Will they get the cockerel back in time to wake up the rest of the farm?

Sooty

Mr Slater is coming for tea! Sooty is cleaning Richard's room, Sweep is in charge of the dishes, and all is set for a great evening. But with a crazy vacuum cleaner on the loose and Richard covered in paint, their plans for a dream tea look set for disaster!

Hancock's Half Hour

Browsing a book of historical noblemen, Hancock sets his heart on a knighthood, but there's no way a popular television comedian would ever be given one. The only route in this business is to be an acclaimed stage performer, and so he so he sets about securing some work. First stop, The Old Vic.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Arriving at Seymour's to find barriers and barbed wire,
Compo and Clegg realise that he must have invented something breathtakingly original: and so he has, but their initial interest is dimmed when the pedal-powered thing has to be road- and field-tested.

Mr Bean

Nipping to the shops for a few provisions proves a nightmare for Bean when a mile-long shopping list from his landlady and a clapped-out trolley with a wonky wheel conspire to ruin his day. So he constructs his own trolley, with a petrol mower, pram wheels and an extra pair of hydraulic hands.

Second Thoughts

Bill is unhappy when Faith expects him to play the heavy stepfather.

'Allo 'Allo!

With the General breathing ever-closer down his neck over the location of the paintings, the Colonel issues René an ultimatium. Meanwhile, Michelle explains her plans for a long-distance duck to transport the microfilm, and Madame Edith goes into hiding - as LeClerc.

Mr Bean

When nursing an injured magpie in his room, Mr Bean makes the discovery that magpies steal things that sparkle. When the police arrive to investigate the theft of his landlady's jewellery, it is not just Mr Bean who needs to take flight.

Never The Twain

Oliver has accepted Simon's challenge to take up judo but he has absolutely no idea about martial arts. He is in for a big surprise if he continues to believe that a karate chop is some kind of Japanese cutlet!

Harry Hill's TV Burp

This special episode featured a montage of Phil Mitchell deflating, the TV Highlight of the Year (from ITV's Superhuman: Giants, the Elephant Man, action over the year and Diane's acting on Emmerdale, Harry's money stealing on Dragon's Den, mini Mother Teresa, a human tape recorder ("Do you like being 110 years old?","No") on The Oldest People in the World, Harry calling Max on EastEnders, Tony Gordon's bionic eye and Blanche looking for love ("I don't want it black. I don't want it white. I want it brown.") on Coronation Street, a dog falling ill after eating food from Nigella and rhyming crimes on The Bill.

For Better Or For Worse

Sweethearts Bernard and Iris scour the neighbourhood for his sulking dad.

On The Buses

Whilst the company puts all employees through a medical, Stand and Jack overhear Blakey tell the doctor this his "days are numbered", and, overcome with remorse with the way they have treated the inspector in the past, swear to be kind to him during his last few hours on Earth...

Only Fools And Horses

It's Grandad's funeral. His brother, Uncle Albert, attempts to comfort Rodney, who's distraught and disgusted with the rest of the family's jovial manner. But it's soon Del who's in a black mood, when Albert's side of the family disappear without him...

Absolute Power

When Martin persuades Charles to accompany him to Devon, Clive is left in charge of the government's Healthy Eating campaign. Will the company survive with Clive in charge, and more importantly, will Charles survive without the cut and thrust of London?

The Liver Birds

Beryl's sister, Gloria, is due to get married. Beryl's none too pleased with her bridesmaid's dress, but when both Gloria and her fiancé, Ernie, decide to call it off, she changes her tune.

Desmond's

When kids smash a window in the barber shop Desmond is furious at first, but, realising that they have nowhere to play, sets out to get the council to renovate the playground.

The Unbelievable Truth

Tony Hawks, Arthur Smith, Phill Jupitus and Catherine Tate talk about Hats, Pigeons, Hairdressers and Admiral Lord Nelson.

Keeping Up Appearances

Thinking small doesn't come easy to Hyacinth - just as Richard feared. He's particularly worried as he has to pick Daddy up from the police station, leaving her to look at holiday homes alone.

Shaun The Sheep

The Farmer decides to replace Bitzer with a robotic sheepdog.

Bread

Aveline brings Oswald home and he finds a family in chaos when they all show him their true colours! Adrian is accepted as a male model after a less than impressive interview and Shifty is back to his old ways ...

Open All Hours

Arkwright has to buy a new suit - on Nurse Gladys Emmanuel's say so.

The Burkiss Way

The best of Bruce Forsyth.

The Burkiss Way

Long ago in a radio galaxy far away with some space film spoofing.

To The Manor Born

Following the death of her husband, Audrey fforbes-Hamilton discovers that their large country estate is almost bankrupt, and is told that she has no option other than to sell up.

Harry Hill's TV Burp

This week's episode featured Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack ("whose been watching? *silence*") and "I love to play my bongos in the morning", Hugh's chicks throwing, cataracts on Emmerdale, The Bill computer game, Tony's bionic eye and "Chimpanzee That" on Coronation Street, Tanya's zip problems on EastEnders and nits on Sense and Sensibility.

I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again

London bus gospel, and a visit to Nibbling-on-the-Bone.

Only Fools And Horses

In the middle of the worst, wettest winter in memory, all the brothers have to flog is sun-tan lotion. Things are looking grim until Uncle Albert falls down the cellar hatch at the Nag's Head: a big compensation package could set them up nicely. Unfortunately, Del's unaware of Albert's past...

St Trinian's

Revival of the classic film series, sttarring Rupert Everett and Colin Firth. The girls rally round when the school is faced with financial ruin.

dinnerladies

With Tony too ill to come into work, and his cover so bad-mannered, ill-tempered, horrible and bossy that everyone save Brenda walks out, it's not the best time to have to be open for a rare night shift!

Smack The Pony

Stylish, original and uninhibited Emmy award-winning sketch show starring Fiona Allen, Doon Mackichan and Sally Phillips.

8 Out Of 10 Cats

Jimmy Carr, Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by Joe Wilkinson, Tina Malone, Rachel Riley and Chris Ramsey.

Russell Howard's Good News

Topical stand-up comedy and chat show hosted by Russell Howard.

Johnny English Reborn

Film sequel starring Rowan Atkinson as the bumbling MI7 agent Johnny English, now on the trail of a secret organisation dubbed Vortex.

8 Out Of 10 Cats

Broadcaster Claudia Winkleman, comedians Mark Watson and Josie Long, and singer Jamelia join Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford and Sean Lock.

Live At The Apollo

Jack Dee is joined by special guests Seann Walsh and Milton Jones.

Gavin & Stacey

Gavin is in Essex without his wife. Stacey is in Barry without her husband. So while Smithy plans a boys' night out, Stacey goes to the bingo. But has living separate lives finally taken its toll on love's young dream?

Smack The Pony

Stylish, original and uninhibited Emmy award-winning sketch show starring Fiona Allen, Doon Mackichan and Sally Phillips.

8 Out Of 10 Cats

David Walliams, Reginald D Hunter, Yvette Fielding and property expert Phil Spencer talk about Michael Jackson, the heatwave, the Queen and much more.

Live At The Apollo

Sean Lock introduces Romesh Ranganathan and Marcus Brigstocke.

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Louise and her new boyfriend Mick are getting on well - she loves hearing all his celebrity gossip. None of her friends believe she has such a stylish boyfriend, and she wants to introduce him to them all. Only trouble is, her squeak is starting to annoy him!

Green Wing

After spending the night at Guy's flat, Caroline finds herself subject to rumours that she had sex with him. Statham tries to get his white coat to flow more, Mac finds out that his ex-girlfriend Holly is getting married, and Martin has problems with the cleaners moving his yoghurt.

8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown

Jimmy Carr, Jon Richardson and special guest captain Lee Mack are joined by celebrity guests Bob Mortimer and Adam Hills. Countdown regular Susie Dent is in with help from Alex Horne and the Horne Section while Rachel Riley, provides the letters and numbers with a little help from Joe Wilkinson.

Lee Evans - Big - Live At The O2

A TV broadcast of Lee Evans's record-breaking tour, which played to over half a million fans across the UK. Infectious stand-up from the top comic.

Desmond's

When kids smash a window in the barber shop Desmond is furious at first, but, realising that they have nowhere to play, sets out to get the council to renovate the playground.

Outnumbered

The arrival of Dad's goddaughter from Australia has an unfortunate effect on the Brockman household. Mum and Jake also have visitors to stay and Ben's role in Spartacus - The Musical is under threat.

Jeremy Hardy Speaks To The Nation

Jeremy Hardy attempts to understand citizenship, to examine the state and to spell surveillance.

Down The Line

This week's topics are the Liberal Agenda of Media and What shall we call a new planet?

Plebs

Grumio falls ill after eating an apple on the loo. Marcus refuses to pay for his medical treatment, preferring instead to go with Cynthia's remedy of candlelight and prayer. Stylax strikes up a rapport with rich nobleman Gaius, who agrees to fund his charioteering career.

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Janet gets a job on a cruise ship, but it will mean leaving Jonny and Corinthian behind? Meanwhile Louise learns the truth about her parents, and Donna goes into business.

You, Me & Them

A twitching eye and an ever-present Alan frustrate the meticulous Ed as he attempts peaceful cohabitation with Lauren.

Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish

Dave devilishly dissects modern life as he judges the worth of online petitions and reveals how he beat Alex Reid - not at cage fighting, obviously.

Through The Keyhole

Joining Keith on the panel this week are TOWIE star Joey Essex, presenter Vernon Kay and maths whizz Carol Vorderman.

Birds Of A Feather

As it remains their only change of going on holiday, Sharon and Tracey participate in a karaoke competition.

William And Mary

When William and Mary cross paths, they become romantically involved but they life two completely different lives and only have one chance at love.

The Music Teacher

Nigel is tasked with running a choir containing recently convicted youths.

The Museum Of Everything

Episode 3.4, And the Winner Is...: It's Awards Night! Can the Crayon Museum beat off the challenger, the World of Pencils?

Was It Something I Said?

Micky Flanagan and Richard Ayoade are joined by panellists Jason Manford and Romesh Ranganathan, while the guest narrator is Mariella Frostrup.

Terry Pratchett's Eric

Rincewind, the most cowardly and incompetent wizard in all of Discworld, is attempting to escape the Dungeon Dimensions. And the Demon King of Hell. Oh, and a parrot.

Absolutely Fabulous

Eddy's taken up residence in a new age commune, and with Patsy now in New York and Saffy away at uni, Mother squats in the otherwise empty house, going on a shopping TV spree. But Edina's soon bored of her lifestyle, and Patsy's not having as much fun as she hoped - could a reunion be on the cards?

Buy Me Up TV

Owned by a vast American cable network, Buy Me Up TV is a 24-hour live broadcast channel selling rubbish to the nation.

In the back rooms and offices of the channel, the high pressure of live broadcast meets the high pressure of sales. Amongst the egos, tantrums, disasters and jealousies, the characters are swimming for their lives in a sales-driven pressure cooker. Then, suddenly, it's Lights, Camera, Action!

Have I Got News For You

Damian Lewis hosts, with guest panellists Nigel Farage MEP and Harry Shearer.

Misfits

Ollie, an environmental protester who has the power to teleport, starts his community service, but is he really destined to become part of the gang?

A Bit Of Fry & Laurie

Sketches include the stolen sketches, light metal (The Bishop and The Warlord) and Stephen's nipples.

The Inbetweeners

Will's mum is away for a weekend with old schoolfriend Fergus. Will is left home alone and the other boys take full advantage of the situation.

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Louise and her new boyfriend Mick are getting on well - she loves hearing all his celebrity gossip. None of her friends believe she has such a stylish boyfriend, and she wants to introduce him to them all. Only trouble is, her squeak is starting to annoy him!

8 Out Of 10 Cats

8 Out Of 10 Cats returns for a new series with a special extended edition. Host Jimmy Carr and team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by Jack Dee, Claudia Winkleman, David O'Doherty and Josh Widdicombe.

The Revolution Will Be Televised

Dale Maily gets inside the story of guns in America, while James and Barnaby attend a Republican Party conference where James tries to form a special relationship with Sarah Palin and Barnaby gets some advice from Bill Clinton. Elsewhere, Wall Street bankers get a chance to give something back, Nandos gets a rebrand and Double Fist TV pay a visit to the Sun newspaper.

8 Out Of 10 Cats

Broadcaster Claudia Winkleman, comedians Mark Watson and Josie Long, and singer Jamelia join Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford and Sean Lock.

The IT Crowd

Jen wants to stretch herself in the workplace so applies for the post of Entertainment Manager.

30 Years Of The Comic Strip Presents

New documentary looking back at The Comic Strip Presents... and its influence on British comedy in the past 30 years.

8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown

Jimmy Carr, Jon Richardson and special guest captain Lee Mack are joined by celebrity guests Bob Mortimer and Adam Hills. Countdown regular Susie Dent is in with help from Alex Horne and the Horne Section while Rachel Riley, provides the letters and numbers with a little help from Joe Wilkinson.

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Janet gets a job on a cruise ship, but it will mean leaving Jonny and Corinthian behind? Meanwhile Louise learns the truth about her parents, and Donna goes into business.

Smack The Pony

Stylish, original and uninhibited Emmy award-winning sketch show starring Fiona Allen, Doon Mackichan and Sally Phillips.

Bad Education

Martin Wickers's attempts to teach Alfie to drive end in disaster when they run over the school caretaker.

The Unbelievable Truth

Tony Hawks, Arthur Smith, Phill Jupitus and Catherine Tate talk about Hats, Pigeons, Hairdressers and Admiral Lord Nelson.

8 Out Of 10 Cats

David Walliams, Reginald D Hunter, Yvette Fielding and property expert Phil Spencer talk about Michael Jackson, the heatwave, the Queen and much more.

Smack The Pony

Stylish, original and uninhibited Emmy award-winning sketch show starring Fiona Allen, Doon Mackichan and Sally Phillips.

Threesome

Alice is getting a little lonely but it doesn't take her long to meet mum-chum Julie. What dark secret is her useless husband Colin hiding? Guest starring Robert Webb.

Crackanory

Party guests fear for their lives and earthquake survivors consider cannibalism. David Mitchell and Katherine Parkinson are your star storytellers for these ripping dark yarns.

Fake Reaction

Guests facing fish snogging, bottom kneading, mouse trap jewellery and a foul-tasting century egg are Lawson's Ryan Fletcher, McFly's Dougie Poynter, comedian Mae Martin and former Sugababe Mutya Buena.

Was It Something I Said?

Micky Flanagan and Richard Ayoade are joined by panellists Jason Manford and Romesh Ranganathan, while the guest narrator is Mariella Frostrup.

Dead Ringers

TV impressions show that ran throughout the 2000s. Featuring Jon Culshaw, Jan Ravens, Phil Cornwell, Kevin Connelly and Mark Perry.

Never Mind The Buzzcocks

Team captains Phill Jupitus and Noel Fielding are joined on the anarchic music quiz by choir master Gareth Malone and rapper Wretch 32, all under the watchful eye of guest host Example.

Gavin & Stacey

Gavin is in Essex without his wife. Stacey is in Barry without her husband. So while Smithy plans a boys' night out, Stacey goes to the bingo. But has living separate lives finally taken its toll on love's young dream?

Brothers With No Game

Comedy drama TV series based on the hit YouTube series of the same name following four male friends.

You, Me & Them

A twitching eye and an ever-present Alan frustrate the meticulous Ed as he attempts peaceful cohabitation with Lauren.

Grouchy Young Men

Young male celebrities, including many comics, bitch and complain about life in modern Britain.

Absolutely Fabulous

Eddy's taken up residence in a new age commune, and with Patsy now in New York and Saffy away at uni, Mother squats in the otherwise empty house, going on a shopping TV spree. But Edina's soon bored of her lifestyle, and Patsy's not having as much fun as she hoped - could a reunion be on the cards?

Dead Ringers

TV impressions show that ran throughout the 2000s. Featuring Jon Culshaw, Jan Ravens, Phil Cornwell, Kevin Connelly and Mark Perry.

The Revolution Will Be Televised

Dale Maily gets inside the story of guns in America, while James and Barnaby attend a Republican Party conference where James tries to form a special relationship with Sarah Palin and Barnaby gets some advice from Bill Clinton. Elsewhere, Wall Street bankers get a chance to give something back, Nandos gets a rebrand and Double Fist TV pay a visit to the Sun newspaper.

For Better Or For Worse

Sweethearts Bernard and Iris scour the neighbourhood for his sulking dad.

Absolute Power

When Martin persuades Charles to accompany him to Devon, Clive is left in charge of the government's Healthy Eating campaign. Will the company survive with Clive in charge, and more importantly, will Charles survive without the cut and thrust of London?