Schedule Monday 3rd March 2014

French Fields

There's trouble in the Fields' plumbing, when a 'donk-a-donk-a-donk' keeps them awake in the night. Hopefully the houses Hester has been recruited to help sell to Brits have better pipework!

Ever Decreasing Circles

After saving a drowning child, Martin has become a hero. He succeeds in boring everybody to death with his tale of heroism.

Second Thoughts

Bill is stunned when Faith announces she wants a baby, while Liza has started an affair with Bill's married editor.

'Allo 'Allo!

Maria is - along with the Fallen Madonna - being held in his room at the chateau by General Von Klinkerhoffen. Hidden inside a sausage, the General hangs the painting up to cure - but their unromantic trist is about to be interrupted!

One Foot In The Grave

Episode adapted from TV. Victor suffers a bank holiday traffic nightmare stuck in a jam - and so do Margaret and Jean!

Just A Minute

Sheila Hancock, Richard Herring, Josie Lawrence and Paul Merton tackle subjects including Hot Cross Buns and How to Win an Argument with a Teenager.

As Time Goes By

Lionel and Jean were young lovers until accidentally losing touch. Years later they meet again by chance and unexpectedly rekindle their romance.

Round The Horne

Episode 4.15: Crofter Kenneth Horne meets Bona Prince Charlie, plus bona advertising with Julian and Sandy.

Goodnight Sweetheart

Will builders scupper Gary's double love life in the time travel sitcom? Having reconciled himself to living in two different eras with two different sweethearts, Gary finds his lifestyle threatened when builders start to demolish his only route to the past.

Timmy Time

Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.

The Navy Lark

Classic radio sitcom about life aboard a British Royal Navy frigate.

My Old Man

Retiree Sam Cobbett is forced to move out of his beloved terrace home by council redevelopment plans, and into his daughter and snobby son-in-law's high-rise flat. He's not remotely pleased by the changes of the modern world.

Bleak Expectations

Full of self-loathing, Pip drinks some very strong gin, finds he is really quite keen on opium, and falls in with a gang of thieves. But is their leader Abraham Bagel, all he seems?

When The Dog Dies

Sandy and Dolores are always bickering but this time it's serious: she's walked out on him and his dog Henry.

Waiting For God

Threatened by Harvey with eviction over non-disclosure of a small arthritis-like joint condition, Diana begins a journey of soul-searching, and starts preparing Tom for life at the home without her. He, however, is determined not to accept her being thrown out of Bayview.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Marina goes to buy a hairnet but returns with a piece of life-saving equipment.

Sooty

It's the April Fools Tea Party, and Richard is determined not to be crowned The Biggest Fool for the second year running. All he has to do is deliver a car to Mr Slater's friend. But with Sooty behind the wheel, will his plans backfire?

Last Of The Summer Wine

Clegg tries to avoid a fuss on his birthday by lunching at a nice quiet hotel.

Ever Decreasing Circles

After saving a drowning child, Martin has become a hero. He succeeds in boring everybody to death with his tale of heroism.

Round The Horne

Episode 4.15: Crofter Kenneth Horne meets Bona Prince Charlie, plus bona advertising with Julian and Sandy.

The Vicar Of Dibley

A selection of episodes from the first series of the Dawn French sitcom.

Bottom Knocker Street

An old school friend returns to challenge Meena's Tikka-Way, but the local residents are not ready to say goodbye to Meena's curry cupcakes.

The Navy Lark

Classic radio sitcom about life aboard a British Royal Navy frigate.

Bottom Knocker Street

Using a homemade metal detector, the gang stumble upon an old gold coin. Could this be the key to finally building their city farm? The hardest thing may be keeping hold of it.

Dani's House

Dani wants to learn how to drive, but can't afford proper lessons. When Max and Ben get hold of a new super driving game, Dani becomes completely obsessed and can't be stopped from playing it day and night.

Birds Of A Feather

Sharon and Tracey are making a fortune with their swimming pool business, then they are invited by a gangster to build a pool as a present for his girlfriend. However he wants the pool built within a week and their workforce is in Florida. Meanwhile Dorien is riddled with guilt after Marcus lands in hospital.

The Green Green Grass

The pair are flushed with pride as they dream of their son's golden future, but when Tyler's exam results let him down, it is the staff who provide the key to his career and get him motivated.

Birds Of A Feather

Sharon and Tracey's pool business goes into decline as Winter sets in, and Dorien also finds herself broke after Marcus cancels all of her credit cards. Sharon and Tracey decide to go into the double-glazing business and think that Dorien would be the ideal person to do the door-to-door selling...

'Allo 'Allo!

Maria is - along with the Fallen Madonna - being held in his room at the chateau by General Von Klinkerhoffen. Hidden inside a sausage, the General hangs the painting up to cure - but their unromantic trist is about to be interrupted!

Last Of The Summer Wine

Sinclair believes he has been cursed, so Trudy, Entwistle and Alvin unwisely decide to exorcise him.

Sooty

Sooty's latest Inventions take the gang onto a TV game show. Can they win over the show's judge, 'The Boss' or will Sweep throw a bone in the works? Guest starring John Thompson.

Shaun The Sheep

The flock hear the enticing tunes of an ice cream van approaching and quickly hatch a plan to divert it into their field. While the driver seeks help, the flock have great fun with an endless supply of ice cream - but will they be able to cover their tracks before they're discovered?

As Time Goes By

Lionel and Jean were young lovers until accidentally losing touch. Years later they meet again by chance and unexpectedly rekindle their romance.

Monarch Of The Glen

Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.

French Fields

Peter's terrible parents make an unexpected visit to northern France, so William and Hester take their first chance to escape - with unforseen consequences.

Goodnight Sweetheart

Will builders scupper Gary's double love life in the time travel sitcom? Having reconciled himself to living in two different eras with two different sweethearts, Gary finds his lifestyle threatened when builders start to demolish his only route to the past.

Are You Being Served?

When the sports department is forced to take up temporary residence amidst Men's Ready To Wear and Ladies' Intimate Apparel, an accident with a stray golf ball causes Mrs. Slocombe to lose her memory, and she regresses to her childhood!

Second Thoughts

Bill is stunned when Faith announces she wants a baby, while Liza has started an affair with Bill's married editor.

'Allo 'Allo!

Having failed to send the Enigma machine to Britain, two British Intelligence agents are on their way to Nouvion to examine the machine - a relief to René, who has just hours before being shot if it is not returned to the General!

My Old Man

Retiree Sam Cobbett is forced to move out of his beloved terrace home by council redevelopment plans, and into his daughter and snobby son-in-law's high-rise flat. He's not remotely pleased by the changes of the modern world.

My Phone Genie

Jaz, Mobbsy and Naoko form a rock band and with Gene as manager they become an internet sensation!

Old Dog And The Partridge

Episode 1: When a landlord's daughter offers to help run the pub, his reaction is unexpected.

The Upper Hand

Charlie meets an attractive, available woman in the supermarket - the trouble is, she jumps to the conclusion that he's the rich one of the house, and he hasn't the heart to correct her. Caroline isn't impressed with his deception; but then proceeds to fall into the same misleading conduct herself!

Bottom Knocker Street

Galactic Peacekeepers arrive to arrest Councillor Cowdrey for Pring Tickling.

One Foot In The Grave

Episode adapted from TV. Victor suffers a bank holiday traffic nightmare stuck in a jam - and so do Margaret and Jean!

Last Of The Summer Wine

Marina goes to buy a hairnet but returns with a piece of life-saving equipment.

Bottom Knocker Street

Fleas are on the menu at the town picnic.

Terry Pratchett's Night Watch

Living in the past is hard, but dying in the past is incredibly easy. Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch falls through time and arrives in the city of his youth.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Clegg tries to avoid a fuss on his birthday by lunching at a nice quiet hotel.

Only Fools And Horses

Del becomes embroiled in a diamond smuggling caper with Boycie and Abdul and, as usual, he's the one with the dirty job to do. Things are not helped, however, when the 'Old Bill' start asking awkward questions...

Birds Of A Feather

Sharon and Tracey's pool business goes into decline as Winter sets in, and Dorien also finds herself broke after Marcus cancels all of her credit cards. Sharon and Tracey decide to go into the double-glazing business and think that Dorien would be the ideal person to do the door-to-door selling...

Round The Horne

Episode 4.15: Crofter Kenneth Horne meets Bona Prince Charlie, plus bona advertising with Julian and Sandy.

Meet The Adebanjos

Inspired by Obama's book, Bayo decides to take up golf for his birthday. Funke pretends to an old friend from Nigeria that she is a big hotshot and owns the café.

The Navy Lark

Classic radio sitcom about life aboard a British Royal Navy frigate.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Sinclair believes he has been cursed, so Trudy, Entwistle and Alvin unwisely decide to exorcise him.

QI

With Jo Brand, Dara O Briain and Phill Jupitus.

Waiting For God

Diana's more than shocked by the rest of Bayview's reaction to her apparent ridding them of Harvey. His plans, meanwhile, could be dealt a blow by the well-meaning interference of Tom.

Little Britain

A selection of three episodes including both Little Britain Abroad specials.

Jonathan Creek

When Jonathan's badger watch becomes a murder watch, the intrigue is only just beginning. For the man seen strangling a young woman had plunged to his death just weeks earlier...

Would I Lie To You?

David Mitchell is joined by Frank Skinner and Bill Oddie, while Lee Mack is joined by Jon Richardson and Sarah Millican.

Have I Got News For You

Paul and Ian are joined by guest host Sir Roger Moore and panellists Marcus Brigstocke and Rachel Johnson.

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Janet has had enough and, feeling she's fallen out of love with Jonny, decides to leave him.

Peep Show

Mark continues to be tormented by doubts about the advisability of marrying Sophie, and joins a gym to spend as much time away from her as possible. Meanwhile, Jeremy starts working as a cleaner in a bid to get closer to ex-wife Nancy, hoping against hope for a reconciliation.

Just A Minute

Sheila Hancock, Richard Herring, Josie Lawrence and Paul Merton tackle subjects including Hot Cross Buns and How to Win an Argument with a Teenager.

Stella

Michael tells his smug ex-wife Jan that he has a date for the charity gala dinner... now all the lawyer needs to do is actually ask Stella.

Peep Show

Jeremy gets a job working as a handyman for his hero, techno musician Russell, but Mark suspects Russell's motivation.

Mark goes to a school reunion and considers embarking on an illicit affair with a girl he used to fancy.

Bleak Expectations

Full of self-loathing, Pip drinks some very strong gin, finds he is really quite keen on opium, and falls in with a gang of thieves. But is their leader Abraham Bagel, all he seems?

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Janet and her dad tell Jonny he must leave the house. After bribes of sex and money, he leaves. Louise is told to return her Piggy Goes Oink library book or she won't graduate. Louise has lost the book.

Have I Got News For You

Paul Merton and Ian Hislop are joined by Frank Skinner in the host's chair with guest panellists Matt Forde and Miles Jupp.

Russell Howard's Good News

Topical stand-up comedy and chat show hosted by Russell Howard.

Shooting Stars

Pop star Paloma Faith, dance star Louie Spence, Top Gear host James May and Inbetweeners star James Buckley star on tonight's edition of the surreal panel game.

A League Of Their Own

A familiar face is welcomed back into the fold this week. Alongside Olympic champion and Strictly hopeful Victoria Pendleton and funny lady Sarah Millican, former Red John Bishop makes a triumphant return.

Have I Got News For You

Paul Merton and Ian Hislop are joined by Frank Skinner in the host's chair with guest panellists Matt Forde and Miles Jupp.

Have I Got News For You

Paul Merton and Ian Hislop are joined by Frank Skinner in the host's chair with guest panellists Matt Forde and Miles Jupp.

QI

With Jo Brand, Dara O Briain and Phill Jupitus.

Rev.

Financial salvation for the city vicar seems to come in the form of a city slicker.

Armstrong And Miller

Episde 3: Australian lifestyle, and a Euro rock band.

The Graham Norton Show

Ant & Dec talk about their 25-year friendship, Jamie Dornan says Fifty Shades of Grey has changed him physically, Aaron Paul talks about leaving Breaking Bad, Naomi Campbell denies being a diva and Ellie Goulding says performing for William and Kate was unreal.

Comedy Central At The Comedy Store

Stand-up comedy from London's famous club, The Comedy Store.

Birds Of A Feather

Sharon and Tracey's pool business goes into decline as Winter sets in, and Dorien also finds herself broke after Marcus cancels all of her credit cards. Sharon and Tracey decide to go into the double-glazing business and think that Dorien would be the ideal person to do the door-to-door selling...

8 Out Of 10 Cats

Jimmy Carr once again oversees the disputes and deliberations on the topical events that set the nation's chins wagging as Jon Richardson and Sean Lock are joined by guests Nick Helm, Kate Humble, David O'Doherty and Claudia Winkleman.

Terry Pratchett's Night Watch

Living in the past is hard, but dying in the past is incredibly easy. Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch falls through time and arrives in the city of his youth.

8 Out Of 10 Cats

Jimmy Carr, Jon Richardson and Sean Lock look at the what people have been talking about this week. The teams are joined by Jack Dee, musician Example, Jerry Springer and Roisin Conaty.

The Graham Norton Show

Ant & Dec talk about their 25-year friendship, Jamie Dornan says Fifty Shades of Grey has changed him physically, Aaron Paul talks about leaving Breaking Bad, Naomi Campbell denies being a diva and Ellie Goulding says performing for William and Kate was unreal.

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Janet has had enough and, feeling she's fallen out of love with Jonny, decides to leave him.

Little Britain

A selection of three episodes including both Little Britain Abroad specials.

The Graham Norton Show

Ant & Dec talk about their 25-year friendship, Jamie Dornan says Fifty Shades of Grey has changed him physically, Aaron Paul talks about leaving Breaking Bad, Naomi Campbell denies being a diva and Ellie Goulding says performing for William and Kate was unreal.

Impractical Jokers

The jokers become the world's worst receptionists; lurk in a park trying to trade ridiculous secrets with passing strangers; give boardroom presentations that will cause them severe embarrassment; and visit the supermarket to try and hide as many pencils as they can on unsuspecting shoppers.

The Ricky Gervais Show

In this show, Ricky, Karl and Stephen discuss the origins of the universe and the evolution of creatures other than humans. Plus, Karl talks about the downside of recycling, world travel and restroom encounters.

Have I Got News For You

Paul and Ian are joined by guest host Sir Roger Moore and panellists Marcus Brigstocke and Rachel Johnson.

8 Out Of 10 Cats

Micky Flanagan, Hari Kondabolu, Tess Daly and Krishnan Guru-Murthy join Jimmy Carr and team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson to delve into the world of polls.

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Janet and her dad tell Jonny he must leave the house. After bribes of sex and money, he leaves. Louise is told to return her Piggy Goes Oink library book or she won't graduate. Louise has lost the book.

Alexander Armstrong's Big Ask

All the best bits from the rip-roaring second series of Alexander Armstrong's panel show in which the crème de la crème of British comedy make up their own questions.

Shooting Stars

Pop star Paloma Faith, dance star Louie Spence, Top Gear host James May and Inbetweeners star James Buckley star on tonight's edition of the surreal panel game.

Monarch Of The Glen

Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.

Bleak Expectations

Full of self-loathing, Pip drinks some very strong gin, finds he is really quite keen on opium, and falls in with a gang of thieves. But is their leader Abraham Bagel, all he seems?

Would I Lie To You?

David Mitchell is joined by Frank Skinner and Bill Oddie, while Lee Mack is joined by Jon Richardson and Sarah Millican.

Rev.

Financial salvation for the city vicar seems to come in the form of a city slicker.

When The Dog Dies

Sandy and Dolores are always bickering but this time it's serious: she's walked out on him and his dog Henry.

Russell Howard's Good News

Topical stand-up comedy and chat show hosted by Russell Howard.

Dirty Sexy Funny: Olivia Lee

A hidden camera prank show for Comedy Central starring Olivia Lee. Features stunts, scripted sketches and setups.

Old Dog And The Partridge

Episode 1: When a landlord's daughter offers to help run the pub, his reaction is unexpected.

One Foot In The Grave

Episode adapted from TV. Victor suffers a bank holiday traffic nightmare stuck in a jam - and so do Margaret and Jean!