Schedule Tuesday 11th September 2012

Bread

Jack is smitten with Rachael, Adrian is meeting Magdalena at the airport, Billy is trying to impress Julie with his new look and Joey is away with Roxy. Mrs Boswell is happy for her sons but has a word of warning for them all ... meanwhile Aveline has become empowered and Lilo Lill has taken over the allotment!

Sykes

Hattie secures Eric a job at the washer factory where she works, but his pride and dedication to his work soon prove an obstacle to any work actually taking plce.

Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?

Bob believes that Terry needs to broaden his horizons and meet new friends.

Thom Tuck Goes Straight To DVD

Comedian Thom Tuck recounts heart-rending tales of love, loss and the 54 straight-to-DVD Disney movies he's watched which mirror his failures from childhood and beyond.

Bread

Adrian announces that he is having a second book of poems published but his news is trumped by Aveline's announcement that she is in the "glossies". Their good news is overshadowed when Billy has to be rushed to hospital with a deep cut to his finger.

The Goon Show

Episode 8.16, The String Robberies: Ace investigator Neddie Seagoon must solve a crime - and the link to Moriarty's sock.

Sykes

Mr. Brown sprains his ankle tripping on a biscuit tin Eric has lazily discarded, and soon has both Sykes twins running to his every beck and call in fear of a lawsuit.

Listen To Les

Les Dawson pays tribute to a feisty barber and Cosmo Smallpiece chairs a chat show.

To The Manor Born

An ageing tramp pays his yearly visit to Grantleigh in search of work as a casual labourer. After playing Richard and Audrey off against each other for the duration, he's got one or two revelations left...

The News Quiz

A satirical review of the week's news, chaired by Sandi Toksvig. Panellists are Jeremy Hardy, Fred MacAulay, Sarah Millican and Andy Hamilton.

Dani's House

Dani discovers that her house is up for sale, whilst Toby is also in a spot of bother after borrowing Sam's savings to set up a joke supply company.

The Good Life

Tom and Barbara are left in financial trouble as they struggle to sell their surplus fruit and vegetables just as the rates need to be paid. A last-gasp search down the back of a sofa means the payment is met on time - leaving the Goods with a single penny to their name.

The Shuttleworths

John hears a strange noise in the loft, and is prepared to wait as long as it takes to track down its source.

Keeping Up Appearances

Suburban snob Hyacinth Bucket devotes her time to monitoring standards and attempting to impress influential people.

Me & My Monsters

When Nick messes up his and Kate's wedding anniversary, she announces that he is not the man she married. So Fiend, Haggis and Norman kidnap him to find the 'real' Nick. Can Eddie and Angela persuade the monsters that it really is their dad?

Hotel Trubble

A famous magician visits the hotel, and Lenny makes his glamorous assistant vanish.

My Family

A selection of episodes from the fifth series of the mainstream BBC One sitcom. Repeated again as of 17.00.

Last Of The Summer Wine

When Blamire buys himself a camera, Clegg, Compo and himself go in search of interesting things to take photographs of.

Very Important Person

1961 film spoofing stiff-upper-lipped war dramas, starring James Robertson Justice as a bombastic scientist who ends up in a PoW camp.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Compo, Clegg and Foggy hear some world-shattering information from Gunnershaw.

The Goon Show

Episode 8.16, The String Robberies: Ace investigator Neddie Seagoon must solve a crime - and the link to Moriarty's sock.

One Foot In The Grave

Margaret tries to organise an unlikely love affair after Victor takes to the road, and a disaster of truly biblical proportions descends when the Meldrews are invited to Ronnie and Mildred's for the evening. In addition, a visit to the dentist goes horribly wrong.

Listen To Les

Les Dawson pays tribute to a feisty barber and Cosmo Smallpiece chairs a chat show.

Blithe Spirit

Film based on the stage hit by Noel Coward. A writer is haunted by the ghost of his first wife Elvira after accidentally summoning her during a séance.

Yes, Prime Minister

Plans to move a number of military bases to the north of England, in an effort to reduce unemployment levels in the region, a dealt a blow when Sir Humphrey fabricates an inter-Cabinet plot against the PM. With resignations on the cards, Jim has some tricky posturing to pull off.

Yes, Prime Minister

With his predecessor due to publish memoirs with not entirely flattering recollections of Jim's time as Minister for Administrative Affairs, he attempts to see the book censored. There's little legal ground to do so, and Number 10 is thrown into a panic when word of the blocking attempt is leaked...

Only Fools And Horses

After a mysterious call from the health inspector, the local Chinese restaurant employ the Trotters to renovate their kitchens. Trigger supplies the paint but neglects to tell them exactly where he got it from.

The Green Green Grass

When Marlene drags Boycie and Tyler to visit her mother Dora, the battle lines are drawn. Back at the farm, Bryan tries his hand at poetry to stop him feeling lonely whilst Mrs Cakeworthy surfs the net to help him find a solution.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Truly makes matters worse when an embarrassed Howard bumps into an acquaintance from the past.

Only Fools And Horses

When Del arranges a holiday in the Benidorm sun, he and Rodney are tempted to leave Grandad at home - but he soon has a change of heart and has an extra bed put in their hotel room. All's well in Spain - until the old man is arrested!

Carry On, Constable

Classic comedy with Sid James making his debut. A group of novices are drafted in to cover at a police station that's been hit by flu.

To The Manor Born

An ageing tramp pays his yearly visit to Grantleigh in search of work as a casual labourer. After playing Richard and Audrey off against each other for the duration, he's got one or two revelations left...

Shaun The Sheep

Shirley the Sheep is the biggest sheep on the farm, but Shaun hopes to change that, can you keep up with Shaun?

The Good Life

Tom and Barbara are left in financial trouble as they struggle to sell their surplus fruit and vegetables just as the rates need to be paid. A last-gasp search down the back of a sofa means the payment is met on time - leaving the Goods with a single penny to their name.

Mr. Bean

Mr. Bean demonstrates diving and sandwich-making.

On The Buses

Stan tries to prove his strength by picking up his girlfriend to guess her weight. In doing so, he strains his back and is instructed to wear a supportive, surgical corset if he wants to get back to work quickly.

Keeping Up Appearances

Suburban snob Hyacinth Bucket devotes her time to monitoring standards and attempting to impress influential people.

Mr. Bean

In this escapade, Mr. Bean buys a TV and a new camera, has an itchy foot and goes on a date.

Last Of The Summer Wine

When Blamire buys himself a camera, Clegg, Compo and himself go in search of interesting things to take photographs of.

Flying The Flag

Episode 4.2, In Custody: Ambassador Mackenzie must tackle the delicate issue of a Briton being held hostage.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Compo, Clegg and Foggy hear some world-shattering information from Gunnershaw.

One Foot In The Grave

Margaret tries to organise an unlikely love affair after Victor takes to the road, and a disaster of truly biblical proportions descends when the Meldrews are invited to Ronnie and Mildred's for the evening. In addition, a visit to the dentist goes horribly wrong.

Shaun The Sheep

Timmy the little lamb is distraught when the farmer take's his favourite toy, can Shaun and pals get it back?

Yes, Prime Minister

Plans to move a number of military bases to the north of England, in an effort to reduce unemployment levels in the region, a dealt a blow when Sir Humphrey fabricates an inter-Cabinet plot against the PM. With resignations on the cards, Jim has some tricky posturing to pull off.

Mr. Bean

Mr. Bean demonstrates diving and sandwich-making.

The Goon Show

Episode 8.16, The String Robberies: Ace investigator Neddie Seagoon must solve a crime - and the link to Moriarty's sock.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Truly makes matters worse when an embarrassed Howard bumps into an acquaintance from the past.

Mr. Bean

In this escapade, Mr. Bean buys a TV and a new camera, has an itchy foot and goes on a date.

Listen To Les

Les Dawson pays tribute to a feisty barber and Cosmo Smallpiece chairs a chat show.

Yes, Prime Minister

With his predecessor due to publish memoirs with not entirely flattering recollections of Jim's time as Minister for Administrative Affairs, he attempts to see the book censored. There's little legal ground to do so, and Number 10 is thrown into a panic when word of the blocking attempt is leaked...

Dead Ringers

TV impressions show that ran throughout the 2000s. Featuring Jon Culshaw, Jan Ravens, Phil Cornwell, Kevin Connelly and Mark Perry.

The Green Green Grass

When Marlene drags Boycie and Tyler to visit her mother Dora, the battle lines are drawn. Back at the farm, Bryan tries his hand at poetry to stop him feeling lonely whilst Mrs Cakeworthy surfs the net to help him find a solution.

Blackadder

With a bit of trickery and abuse of George's sole talent, Blackadder has himself appointed Official War Artist and hopes to be sent to Paris accordingly; however, Field Marshal Haig's plans don't quite tally with the Captain's expectations...

God Save The Queens

Sky Atlantic's celebration of fabulously camp and pioneering entertainers continues with the stories of David Bowie, Jimmy Somerville, Kenny Everett and Boy George.

QI

With Brian Cox, Ross Noble and Sue Perkins.

Blackadder

After having trouble with the trenches' telephone system, Blackadder is facing a court-martial for disobeying orders; and far more seriously, shooting and eating Melchett's prized pet pigeon, Speckled Jim. Is there any hope for the Captain, or does a firing squad and certain death await?

Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow

Comedy sensation Michael McIntyre is in Belfast as he continues his Saturday night entertainment show. Local hero Patrick Kielty is the headline act this week at the Waterfront Hall. Michael is also joined on stage by Neil Delamere, Jeff Green and Kerry Godliman.

The Rob Brydon Show

Rob's special guest is Sir Tom Jones, who gives a fascinating insight into his long career; Emilia Fox tells Rob about hit show Silent Witness; and wildlife daredevil Steve Backshall explains what it's like to come face to face with the world's deadliest creatures.

Have I Got News For You

Masterchef's John Torode and Gregg Wallace become HIGNFY's first co-hosts. Guest panellists are Richard Herring and Samira Ahmed.

Thom Tuck Goes Straight To DVD

Comedian Thom Tuck recounts heart-rending tales of love, loss and the 54 straight-to-DVD Disney movies he's watched which mirror his failures from childhood and beyond.

The Royle Family

Jim's stripping the wallpaper in the dining room, and has roped Twiggy in to help. Balking at the £15/day charge for steamer hire, before long the whole family are attacking the walls with all manner of flat, sharp-edged implements.

Getting Nowhere Fast

Episode 4: Merv gains strong support from an unlikely source when the cafe faces closure.

Rude Britannia

The art and literature of Georgian Britain revealed a nation openly and shockingly rude.

Bottom

Richie Richard and Eddie Hitler are a pair of disgusting, anti-social and regularly violent losers who share a grubby flat in Hammersmith.

Dead Ringers

TV impressions show that ran throughout the 2000s. Featuring Jon Culshaw, Jan Ravens, Phil Cornwell, Kevin Connelly and Mark Perry.

Threesome

It's Richie's birthday and new boyfriend Dave has special plans. The trouble is that Alice has her own (more special) plans... as does their unborn baby.

Mock The Week

With Fred MacAulay and Seann Walsh.

Acropolis Now

A chorus of ancient Greek fish delivery men bring disturbing news for Aristophanes. The Oracle predicts Aristophanes is in danger, but is it a "dung thing"?

Citizen Khan

Mrs Khan is very keen to go on holiday. But holidays cost money, plus there's Shazia's honeymoon to pay for.

The Rob Brydon Show

Rob's special guest is Sir Tom Jones, who gives a fascinating insight into his long career; Emilia Fox tells Rob about hit show Silent Witness; and wildlife daredevil Steve Backshall explains what it's like to come face to face with the world's deadliest creatures.

The Masterson Inheritance

The award-winning improvised comedy series returns with a story of intrigue, terror, tyrants and togas set in ancient Rome.

Green Wing

It is Dr. Caroline Todd's first day at the East Hampton Hospital Trust, but things don't start terribly well for her. Mac and Statham enjoy some banter, Martin looks up his old school friends online, Guy eats some coffee and Joanna has some fun on a vibrating bed.

The Armstrong & Miller Show

The Second World War pilots are vexed that people have been talking about them behind their backs; Dennis Lincoln-Park examines the only surviving panel of a rare tapestry; and the divorced dad offers his teenage son tips on avoiding STDs.

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Janet gets a job on a cruise ship, but it will mean leaving Jonny and Corinthian behind? Meanwhile Louise learns the truth about her parents, and Donna goes into business.

Gates

Parents' evening brings Helen a tidal wave of nerves, but she's more alarmed than relieved to learn that Chloe's a bit of a goody-two-shoes. Meanwhile, Mr Gould appears intent on talking Miss Hunter into retirement. She has no intention of leaving, but can he wear her down?

The Ricky Gervais Show

Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington cover a range of pointless topics including body parts, prostate exams, and the phrase "a stitch in time saves nine".

Citizen Khan

Mrs Khan is very keen to go on holiday. But holidays cost money, plus there's Shazia's honeymoon to pay for.

QI

With Brian Cox, Ross Noble and Sue Perkins.

Bad Education

Alfie reveals a hidden talent when the annual football match between Abbey Grove and the school he attended, Middleton House, approaches. Will the benefit scroungers pull it off, or Middleton's snooty toff boys who clinch the win?

Bad Education

Alfie reveals a hidden talent when the annual football match between Abbey Grove and the school he attended, Middleton House, approaches. Will the benefit scroungers pull it off, or Middleton's snooty toff boys who clinch the win?

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Janet gets a new job, but Donna's career is on the skids. Louise has a letter from her earth mother - but she can't open it. Jonny campaigns for baby changing facilities at the pub.

Blackadder

With a bit of trickery and abuse of George's sole talent, Blackadder has himself appointed Official War Artist and hopes to be sent to Paris accordingly; however, Field Marshal Haig's plans don't quite tally with the Captain's expectations...

Blackadder

After having trouble with the trenches' telephone system, Blackadder is facing a court-martial for disobeying orders; and far more seriously, shooting and eating Melchett's prized pet pigeon, Speckled Jim. Is there any hope for the Captain, or does a firing squad and certain death await?

Have I Got News For You

Masterchef's John Torode and Gregg Wallace become HIGNFY's first co-hosts. Guest panellists are Richard Herring and Samira Ahmed.

Comedy Central At The Comedy Store

Stand-up comedy from London's famous club, The Comedy Store.

The Royle Family

Jim's stripping the wallpaper in the dining room, and has roped Twiggy in to help. Balking at the £15/day charge for steamer hire, before long the whole family are attacking the walls with all manner of flat, sharp-edged implements.

Comedy Central At The Comedy Store

Stand-up comedy from London's famous club, The Comedy Store.

The News Quiz

A satirical review of the week's news, chaired by Sandi Toksvig. Panellists are Jeremy Hardy, Fred MacAulay, Sarah Millican and Andy Hamilton.

Harry & Paul

Didier Peskovitch falls foul of his girlfriend in a shopping centre. Nelson Mandela goes shoplifting, a gullible customer visits I Saw You Coming and the Café Polski girls get angry behind the counter.

Bottom

Richie Richard and Eddie Hitler are a pair of disgusting, anti-social and regularly violent losers who share a grubby flat in Hammersmith.

Phill Jupitus: Quadrophobia

Stand-up show featuring Phill Jupitus. His set encompasses the London Zoo, electrical superstores and his morbid fear of spiders.

Peep Show

Jeremy gets a job working as a handyman for his hero, techno musician Russell, but Mark suspects Russell's motivation.

Mark goes to a school reunion and considers embarking on an illicit affair with a girl he used to fancy.

Crapston Villas

Stop motion clay animation sitcom observing the antics of the inhabitants of the much sought-after residential property Crapston Villas.

The Shuttleworths

John hears a strange noise in the loft, and is prepared to wait as long as it takes to track down its source.

The Detectives

Sitcom starring Robert Powell and Jasper Carrott as Dave Briggs and Bob Louis, the Met's most incompetent detectives.

Flying The Flag

Episode 4.2, In Custody: Ambassador Mackenzie must tackle the delicate issue of a Briton being held hostage.