Schedule Wednesday 28th September 2011

Bread

Adrian has eloped to Scotland to marry Irene whilst Aveline has a scare that helps her bond with Oswald once again. Meanwhile, Joey has lost patience with his family's problems and decides to put himself first for a change.

The Liver Birds

Moving into a far more comfortable flat in a nicer part of the city, Beryl and Sandra immediately come across nosy neighbour Mrs Knowsley, who's petitioning to have an apparently troublesome fellow tenant evicted.

Sykes

Eric hopes to join the local golf club, with Mr. Brown's backing. After a disastrous start at the club bar, he resorts to claiming that a local member of the aristocracy, Lord Hetherington, is his uncle.

Bread

Jack has good news from Leonora when she announces she is pregnant and Joey decides to join Adrian in Scotland to marry Roxy. Meanwhile, Lilo Lill has news of Freddie's whereabouts while Grandad dreams about his own calamitous funeral...

Horrible Histories

Today's show features an annoying French prankster from the Middle Ages, and more.

The Liver Birds

Fast approaching having to pay their next month's rent, the girls are struck by the realisation that they're out of work - and have only 50 pence to their collective name! A trip to sign on is called for, but the dole queue is not something they're used to and a ruckus ensues.

Waiting For God

Episode 2.8, Foreign Workers: Harvey employs a group of foreigners at Bayview to cut costs, and daggers are drawn on the croquet lawn.

The Good Life

When Margo is to have a new wind-break erected in her garden that would cast a shadow over the Goods' new fruit patch, Tom and Barbara ask her to move it elsewhere.

'Allo 'Allo!

As the Colonel attempts to pay off the resistance with 10 million francs concealed in a large dogfish, Herr Flick and Monsieur Alfonse get in the way. At the café, General Von Klinkerhoffen forces René and Madame Edith into the Hitler and Goering uniforms, and it looks like they're bomb-fodder.

One Foot In The Grave

Victor is unable to sleep. Things get so desperate that he contemplates opening Ronnie and Mildred's Christmas present from last year.

Shine On Harvey Moon

Nan receives a beautiful saloon car in the will of Miss Cunningham, but then realises that neither she nor Harvey can drive.

Hotel Trubble

Rap star Z-Dogg is coming to stay at Hotel Trubble, and all the staff are star-struck. Jamie insists they should treat him like any other guest; that is, until he meets him.

Sykes

Eric hopes to join the local golf club, with Mr. Brown's backing. After a disastrous start at the club bar, he resorts to claiming that a local member of the aristocracy, Lord Hetherington, is his uncle.

Hancock's Half Hour

Tony, Sid and Bill take part in the famous Monte Carlo rally in their AJY special - Assembled from Junk Yard. The odds are stacked heavily against them, but they seem to be keeping ahead of the pack...

Last Of The Summer Wine

Back for more mayhem, the boys help Lenny from the factory to sail a swan boat.

The Castle

A heatwave and an archaeological excavation leads to an unexpected swimming pool.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Clegg climbs a tree to prove a point while the police deal with a runaway cooker.

Waiting For God

Episode 2.8, Foreign Workers: Harvey employs a group of foreigners at Bayview to cut costs, and daggers are drawn on the croquet lawn.

Me & My Monsters

When Eddie goes on a school trip, the monsters are lost without their leader. So Fiend appoints himself king of the monsters. But Haggis and Norman each think they should be in charge, so they decide to hold an election.

The Good Life

When Margo is to have a new wind-break erected in her garden that would cast a shadow over the Goods' new fruit patch, Tom and Barbara ask her to move it elsewhere.

Sorry, I've Got No Head

Jasmine and Prudith go ice skating, there is an open day at the school on North Barrasay and Mark tries to break more world records with his enormous feet.

'Allo 'Allo!

As the Colonel attempts to pay off the resistance with 10 million francs concealed in a large dogfish, Herr Flick and Monsieur Alfonse get in the way. At the café, General Von Klinkerhoffen forces René and Madame Edith into the Hitler and Goering uniforms, and it looks like they're bomb-fodder.

One Foot In The Grave

Victor is unable to sleep. Things get so desperate that he contemplates opening Ronnie and Mildred's Christmas present from last year.

Shine On Harvey Moon

Nan receives a beautiful saloon car in the will of Miss Cunningham, but then realises that neither she nor Harvey can drive.

Hotel Trubble

Mr Takahashi, an extremely rude businessman, comes to stay but Jamie is sure he is actually a Hotel of the Year mystery judge and bends over backwards trying to keep him happy. However, it is actually Dolly, and her mysterious past, that makes Mr Takahashi's day.

Open All Hours

Arkwright's baffled when his customers get upset with his treatment of Granville. Surely, "it's what errand boys are for".

The Green Green Grass

The Antiques Roadshow comes to Ludlow, and Marlene, already in the middle of a house makeover, sees an opportunity to have her old bric-a-brac valued by experts. She is not alone, as Elgin, Bryan, Jed and Mrs Cakeworthy have exactly the same idea. Surprisingly it is Boycie, with a little help from Tyler, who discovers the really valuable antique.

Terry & June

One-upmanship is the name of the game when Terry discovers that a junior member of the office staff has a satellite dish.

Gigglebiz

CBeebies legend Justin Fletcher gets the nation's under-sixes laughing their socks off with his collection of crazy comedy characters.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Back for more mayhem, the boys help Lenny from the factory to sail a swan boat.

A League Of Their Own

It's round four and, while Flintoff's best mate and two-time Ashes winner Steve Harmison joins the Reds, Mock The Week's Dara O'Briain is picked for the Blues. Corden referees.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Clegg climbs a tree to prove a point while the police deal with a runaway cooker.

Horrible Histories

Barmy Roman emperor Caligula fails to invade Britain so collects seashells instead, King Henry VIII plays tennis while Anne Boleyn is executed, and some naughty Saxon monks throw a funky party.

The Castle

Sir John decides to raise money by holding a rock festival in the grounds of Woodstock. Cue the sounds of the electric lute, new-fangled hummous from the Levant and much disapproval from Pope Innocent VI.

Only Fools And Horses

With the family fortune squandered, Del and Rodney set off for France to attend a memorial service in memory of Uncle Albert's old shipmates from the war. On the way back the Trotters pick up some rather unexpected cargo!

Hancock's Half Hour

Tony, Sid and Bill take part in the famous Monte Carlo rally in their AJY special - Assembled from Junk Yard. The odds are stacked heavily against them, but they seem to be keeping ahead of the pack...

Open All Hours

Arkwright's baffled when his customers get upset with his treatment of Granville. Surely, "it's what errand boys are for".

Gavin & Stacey

Stacey returns to Essex to sort out the situation with Gavin, but things are not looking good. Meanwhile in Barry, an unexpected event throws everyone into a panic.

The Green Green Grass

The Antiques Roadshow comes to Ludlow, and Marlene, already in the middle of a house makeover, sees an opportunity to have her old bric-a-brac valued by experts. She is not alone, as Elgin, Bryan, Jed and Mrs Cakeworthy have exactly the same idea. Surprisingly it is Boycie, with a little help from Tyler, who discovers the really valuable antique.

Not Going Out

When Lucy announces that she is pregnant, Lee wonders if the father might accidentally be him.

Only Fools And Horses

With the bankruptcy court ordering the family home in Nelson Mandela house to be auctioned, the Trotters' financial nightmare is fast approaching meltdown.

Combined with Cassandra about to give birth at anytime, Marlene's mysterious disappearance and Trigger behaving even more bizarrely than usual, its little wonder that no one is sleeping soundly in Peckham.

Grumpy Old Women

Well-known comedians, entertainers and personalities talk about the many aspects of modern life that drive them up the wall.

Shooting Stars

Joining Jack Dee on Team A are Coronation Street's Graeme Hawley and actress Brigitte Nielsen, while comedian Ross Noble and chef James Martin join Ulrika-ka-ka on Team B.

The Castle

A heatwave and an archaeological excavation leads to an unexpected swimming pool.

QI

A Christmas special with Jo Brand, Bill Bailey and Sean Lock.

Nebulous

An attempt to end the horrible season of Hamble is foiled by a dwarf star.

Grumpy Old Women

Well-known comedians, entertainers and personalities talk about the many aspects of modern life that drive them up the wall.

Shameless

Dean Lennox Kelly returns for the landmark 100th episode of Shameless, as Mickey give Mimi an ultimatum: either the new boiler goes or he does; and suddenly Micky finds himself on The Jockey sofa.

Argumental

With guests Mark Watson and Ardal O'Hanlon.

Acropolis Now

The restaurant regulars decide to have a "Last Supper". No food - just fine words, songs and... hemlock.

The Music Teacher

Nigel tries to up the rate he charges his students. However, he finds his negotiating skills somewhat thwarted by a guitarist with no strings, a Cameo tribute act and possibly the world's most confusing busker.

Tickets Please

Why does an intercity journey turn into an emotional rollercoaster? Because the train staff have to battle with their thwarted infatuations for each other. And those toughies in the wedding carriage aren't helping matters.

Gimme Gimme Gimme

Episode 3.3, Secrets and Flies: Linda's long-lost son appears, and he is none too pleased with what he finds. Meanwhile, Tom comes over all broody when Suze goes into labour.

Gavin & Stacey

Stacey returns to Essex to sort out the situation with Gavin, but things are not looking good. Meanwhile in Barry, an unexpected event throws everyone into a panic.

Gimme Gimme Gimme

Episode 3.4, Trauma: Linda is rushed to casualty with a saucepan on her head and a broken wrist after falling off a bus, and, to make matters worse, the consolation of a good-looking nurse proves short-lived when Tom takes him home for a romantic dinner.

Not Going Out

When Lucy announces that she is pregnant, Lee wonders if the father might accidentally be him.

Lee Evans - The Ultimate Experience

Highlights and brand new excerpts taken from Lee's first three releases.

Harry & Paul

Gillian and Gerald take us on a tour of The Royal Henley Northerner Show 2008, while Nelson Mandela has an encounter with Margaret Thatcher. Also, Simon continues his efforts to charm Magda in Cafe Polski - will he finally get the girl?

QI

A Christmas special with Jo Brand, Bill Bailey and Sean Lock.

Gimme Gimme Gimme

Episode 3.3, Secrets and Flies: Linda's long-lost son appears, and he is none too pleased with what he finds. Meanwhile, Tom comes over all broody when Suze goes into labour.

Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle

Stewart comments that it's not easy making a comedy show about a global financial crisis. But he's going to give it a go.

Love Soup

Gil is forced to watch a poor all-woman version of Waiting for Godot so he can ask a sexy actress on a dinner date. Alice bumps into an old friend, but the reunion is soon regreted. Milly meanwhile is unaware that her new boyfriend looks like Jesus Christ.

Gimme Gimme Gimme

Episode 3.4, Trauma: Linda is rushed to casualty with a saucepan on her head and a broken wrist after falling off a bus, and, to make matters worse, the consolation of a good-looking nurse proves short-lived when Tom takes him home for a romantic dinner.

Drop The Dead Donkey

Episode 3.4, Helen'll Fix It: Helen refuses to tell Gus the name of informant, and Sally allows a girl to read the news with her for Jim'll Fix It.

Comedy Central At The Comedy Store

At London's legendary Comedy Store tonight, Alun Cochrane on modern technology, Zoe Lyons on vegans, Seann Walsh on Brighton and Jack Whitehall on the Royal Family and Robert Mugabe.