The Unbelievable Truth

Arthur Smith, Jon Richardson, Susan Calman and David O'Doherty all join David Mitchell to lie on the subjects of pets, bacteria, zombies and water.

The Truths

Arthur Smith - Pets

- Napoleon Bonaparte's wife Josephine had a pet orangutan that joined her for dinner dressed in a white cotton blouse and could juggle Viennese cakes. Found by Susan.

- The five most popular names for pet cats in the UK are Charlie, Molly, Poppy, Willow and Oscar. Found by Susan.

- Dorothy Parker had a pet canary called Onan, so called it spilled his seed on the ground, in reference to the Biblical figure of the same name. Found by Susan.

- The oldest pet goldfish was known to lived to the age of 43. Found by David.

- Jeremy Bentham had a pet teapot. Successfully smuggled.

Jon Richardson - Bacteria

- Gonorrhoea is relatively speaking the strongest organism known to man. It can pull up to 100,000 times its own body weight. Found by Susan.

- Studies suggest that one-in-five office mugs contain traces of faecal bacteria. This is mainly because people clean the mugs with bacteria-ridden brushes instead of a dishwasher. Found by Arthur.

- There are more bacteria in your mouth then there are people in the world. Found by Arthur.

- The first bacteria were called "animalcules", as in "molecules". Successfully smuggled.

- Listening with headphones can increase inner ear infection by 700 times. Successfully smuggled.

Susan Calman - Zombies

- The Canadian government organised a "Zombie Awareness Week" to help educate people, especially younger people, about real emergencies. Found by Jon.

- It used to be thought that to release a zombie from its bondage you should offer it some salty food or water, and then it goes back to its grave. Found by Arthur.

- Humphrey Bogart appeared in a zombie film. He played a vampire zombie in The Return of Doctor X. He did not like talking about it in interviews and considered it a low-point in his career. Found by Arthur.

- People once thought that if you fed a zombie red pistachio nuts it would break its trance and allow the zombie to die. Successfully smuggled.

- 8th October is World Zombie Day. Successfully smuggled.

David O'Doherty - Water

- Most people think that water is clear. Found by Arthur. Accidentally included by David.

- Ships travel faster in cold water because it allows greater buoyancy. Found by Arthur.

- Tortoises drink through their mouths, noses and tails. Found by Susan.

- Humans lose half-a-pint of water in perspiration through our feet every day. Found by Arthur.

- Egyptian pharaohs masturbated into the Nile to ward of drought. Found by Susan.

- Water is not clear, but it is really, really, really light blue. Successfully smuggled.

Scores

- Susan Calman: 8 points
- Arthur Smith: 1 point
- Jon Richardson and David O'Doherty: 0 points