Richard Marsh: Cardboard Heart

Will

Will is a hapless romantic who's keen to find love. An aspiring writer, he currently has a 9-to-5 job writing poetry for a greetings card company.

Paid to express heartfelt emotions for people he will never meet, Will consistently fails to express himself properly to anyone he does meet.

Every social interaction is a minefield for Will. In his head, he knows exactly what to say - but the minute he opens his mouth, it's a disaster.

Beast

The card company's salesman, Beast is a force of nature.

He's a fun-seeking missile and bulletproof - trouble and hangovers bounce off him!

Sexually-driven, and very successful, Beast is a mischief-maker who can find something fun in any situation. He's also a compulsive competitor who never sits still.

A lover of women, and a lover of fun in all shapes and sizes, Beast takes every opportunity to make fun of Will - and being Will's flatmate, he gets a lot of opportunities to do this.

Rog

Rog is the card company's boss.

He's a charming, commanding rogue, who has turned his hand to seemingly every job there is, and made and lost several fortunes along the way.

Rog has a lot of ex-wives, and a huge number of children and step-children, all of whom look to him for guidance and support, so he is constantly setting them up in unlikely business ventures.

A former painter-and-decorator, Rog thinks he has an eye for design so often irritates Goadsby with 'helpful' suggestions which only infuriate her.

Goadsby

Goadsby is in charge of the greetings card artwork. She's also Will's nemesis. Sharp, front-footed, acerbic and charming, Goadsby is ruthlessly ambitious and never misses an opportunity to take people down a peg or two.

She's political, feminist, and enjoys making others uncomfortable. In the all-white office, she constantly brings up race. She can't resist it - it makes them all so awkward!

Colin

Colin is the firm's accountant. He's an Eeyore-ish jobsworth, uptight and obsessed with survival skills.

His colleagues just don't understand how dangerous the world is, but Colin is convinced TEOTWAWKI (The End Of The World As We Know It) is just around the corner. That's why he spends his weekends 'survival training' (hunting badger and drinking puddles).

Louise

Louise is one of Rog's daughters. Like his other offspring, she looks to him for guidance and support.

Vicky

Vicky is a vet with a great sense of humour who's keen on early 90s hip hop... and Will.