Mastering The Universe

Professor Joy Klamp (Dawn French) presents a series of radio lessons in which she aims to teach the listener how to become a total spoilsport.

With the help of Joy's "Sourpussy Posse" (aka sketch team), the show uses fake archive material, workshops and role-plays to convey the best ways to ruin parties, spoil visits to the cinema, destroy holidays, make the most of migraines, and more.

According to Klamp, spoiling someone else's pleasure is the most deeply rewarding of all the controlling arts. Feeling cold in restaurants, answering in monosyllables, making a little tutting noise when anyone says something amusing - these are just some of the tried and tested fun-prevention techniques which have been used by miserable sods down the centuries.

With Klamp as guide, the show takes a punishing journey into the heart of sulkiness. Along the way, Joy puts us in touch with our inner spoilsport and releases that right bleeding miseryguts, the one who'd rather be seen dead than having a good time.

By the end of the series you will have discovered how Christmas, birthdays, weddings or even just an evening in front of the telly can be turned into a complete nightmare for all concerned - apart from yourself of course!

Joy's four new episodes for 2009 took the form of a self-help workshop, focusing on and explaining one area for domination through "downmanship" each week.