Hordes Of The Things
- Radio sitcom
- BBC Radio 4
- 1980
- 4 episodes (1 series)
A radio series parodying J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy, written by John Lloyd and Andrew Marshall. Stars Frank Middlemass, Paul Eddington, Simon Callow, Maggie Steed, Jonathan Lynn and more.
Episode menu
Series 1, Episode 3 - The Third Chronicle
Further details
Agar and Golin meet the Dread Sphinx (with the head of a snake, the body of a snake and the tail of a snake). It is the protector of the Summontrumpet. When the snake-like Sphinx claims his bite is much worse than an ordinary snake's (because he does not brush his teeth), Agar takes out his complaining mother's head and scares him into bringing Summontrumpet.
Meanwhile, Crown Prince Veganin turns the leader of the Brotherhood of Night into ashes using his reflective armour. However, he learns that he is of the correct age to become the next leader himself, or at least his torso with its star-shaped birthmark.
The White council of wizards, organised by Radox the Green, meet in order to decide what to do next against The Evil One... but it soon becomes more like an office conference. As a result most of the wizards only come for the biscuits.
Luckily, Radox gets a visit from Agar and Golin. Agar asks what to do next, because he cannot blow the trumpet (because he is not of noble birth). Radox does not want to talk, as is evidenced by the fact that he meets another hero in training, although it is clear he is just a servant. Agar helps this hero by carrying out one of his tasks - slaying a dragon.
Back in Albion, King Yulfric the Wise III and Queen Elfreda argue about him visiting the woodcutter's daughter, and the person he wants to rule in the meantime being a cannibal. It becomes clear that every man of fighting age has died.
Agar and Golin finally arrive to slay the last of the Amber Dragons to rescue a maiden. However, it turns out that the maiden wants to stay because she loves the dragon. Things all change when the dragon tells him that his father was in fact King Yulfric. Therefore he is of noble birth and can blow the Summontrumpet.
Broadcast details
- Date
- Tuesday 9th December 1980
- Channel
- BBC Radio 4
- Length
- 30 minutes
Cast & crew
Frank Middlemass | Radox the Green |
Paul Eddington | King Yulfric the Wise III |
Simon Callow | Crown Prince Veganin |
Maggie Steed | Queen Elfreda |
Jonathan Lynn | Golin Longshanks |
Christian Rodska | Agar son of Athar |
Patrick Magee | Narrator |
Miriam Margolyes | Ensemble Actor |
Aubrey Woods | Ensemble Actor |
Maggie Steed | Ensemble Actor |
Jonathan Lynn | Ensemble Actor |
Ballard Berkeley | Ensemble Actor |
Steven Pacey (as Stephen Pacey) | Ensemble Actor |
Derek Francis | Ensemble Actor |
Andrew Marshall (as A. P. R. Marshall) | Writer |
John Lloyd (as J. H. W. Lloyd) | Writer |
Geoffrey Perkins | Producer |