Clare In The Community

The noisy sex life of Clare's new neighbours is keeping her and Brian awake night after night.

New neighbours are moving into the flat above Clare and Brian's. Clare takes the opportunity to rummage through the boxes of belongings to get an idea of what they are like. The crockery is wrapped in 'The Guardian' and Clare states she has never understood the cartoon strip (an in-joke, as that is the origins of this sitcom). When she finds a packet of Fair Trade coffee, Clare declares that they could be friends.

At the office Helen is going for a promotion interview and Irene and Ray try to help. Back at Clare and Brian's flat, Clare reveals that the new neighbours are a new couple called Tim and Jessie... at which point the telephone rings. It is Clare's sister Emma saying she wants to meet to discuss something important. There is mention of Emma's twins and Clare jumps to the conclusion that she is going to be asked to adopt them. As they go to sleep, the neighbours above christen their new flat resulting in the sound of bed springs bouncing all night. The same happens the night after, resulting in Clare and Brian losing desperately needed sleep. Clare falls asleep during a team meeting at work and has a dream she is fighting Lord Injustice and his evil minion's Poverty and Ignorance.

At break duty at school, Brian complains to Simon about the new couple having sex every day. While Clare says it may be affecting Brian's masculinity, Simon puts it down to something being wrong with his sex drive. Brian, insulted with Simon's suggestions, shouts angrily "There is nothing wrong with my sex drive!" at which point the whole school yard becomes silent.

Back at the office, Helen doesn't get the promotion as it has gone to Penny, but she is happy that "the bitch got it". Ray recommends Clare should invite the neighbours round and befriend them and then make Brian politely bring up the subject of their noisy sex. Clare goes to meet her sister ready to accept the twins for adoption but instead is asked to look after the cats in the event of Emma and her husband Max's death.

At the pub, Simon is giving Brian some Dutch courage before having to meet the 'shag bandits'. Meanwhile at the flat Clare is getting on well with the neighbours until Tim (the new neighbour) mentions he has been on night shifts and that his brother Noel has been looking after Jessie (Tim's girlfriend) at night. At which point, Brian comes home drunk and says that the couple's "noisy shagging has to stop and it has to stop now!"

Finally the couple get a quiet night, but Clare has the same dream... only this time Lord Injustice suggests they have sex! Brian wakes Clare to tell her that she was making a strange groaning noise in her sleep.