Clare In The Community

Clare and her colleagues are enjoying an easy day at a conference - until Clare's nemesis Peggy turns up and issues a challenge that Clare can't refuse.

Clare wakes up and sees Brian looking out of window. He asks Clare if she finds him physically and sexually attractive. Before she answers, she asks him to put some clothes on.

All of the family centres have been asked to attend a conference in order to publicise their family centre. The Sparrowhawk stand is nothing but a table with balloons because Ray gave the wrong date for the suppliers to bring the free gifts, photographs and the picture of Clare meeting Tony Benn. The lack of interest has caused no one to visit the stand.

Clare and her colleagues take the opportunity to skive for most of the day and sit around doing nothing, that is until Peggy arrives with her new rival family centre, Carehorse. Peggy boasts about how great her stand is and bets Clare £50 that she can't hand out all of her leaflets by the end of the day. Clare is determined not to let Peggy get the better of her and so asks her colleagues to come up with ideas. Clare makes Ray, Helen and Irene grab a handful of leaflets and hand them out to all of the people standing on the outside of the crowd hanging around Peggy's stand. Peggy takes revenge and bursts all of the balloons on the Sparrowhawk stand.

Brian realises after the talk with Clare that he is not physically and sexually attractive. He decides to have a go at a career change - acting. He is walking through the high street when he is stopped by Simon enquiring as to what Brian is hiding behind his back. It is a photograph of what Simon thinks is 'a poppet of a woman' who he would 'give one to'. It turns out to be a photo of Brian at 18 years old when he was a student, he was intending to use it as a publicity photograph. Brian is on the way to an audition but Simon tells him to have something to eat beforehand. Brian says he eats a lot when nervous so a visit to an all you can eat is a bad mistake. While in the waiting room for his audition, Simon reveals to Brian that he and Helen are finally back together after a few secret meet-ups. Brian is amazed that Helen could forgive Simon's adultery... but she still doesn't know. Helen broke off the relationship because of guilt and indifference. While listening, Brian has no choice but to go to the toilet. As Brian leaves, his name is called out. Simon takes on the audition instead pretending to be Brian. He fails it.

Back at the conference, Ray has a plan to draw in a crowd: to use the public address system to broadcast about the Sparrowhawk stand. Megan rushes off eagerly to do the broadcast and Irene follows. But the broadcast is messed up because the microphone is switched on when they are just chatting but off when they make the big announcement. The announcer for the event hears what is going on and stops them, but he is quickly attracted to Megan.

Helen receives a bouquet of roses from Simon as she announces that the two of them are back together. Everyone is pleased for her, but Clare mentions Simon's affair with the holiday rep on the honeymoon, which Helen still doesn't know about. As soon as she discovers, Simon arrives and Helen punches him in the face, breaking his nose. Simon falls to the ground and Clare finds it the perfect opportunity to draw in a crowd - she begins to hand out the leaflets. Megan and the announcer, left in booth, end up having sex but they accidentally knock the microphone switch to 'on' mid-way during the lovemaking!