The Comparison Trap

Live comedy publicist and agent Carla Speight talks about 'the comparison trap' - "It does happen to everyone and it is a big deal".

I've been really fortunate over the years to have some truly fantastic clients. They have the most exciting stories and reasons why they do what they do, and they usually come to me with the same issues.

They feel like they're stuck in a rut, creatively burnt out, no one is interested in what they do anymore, others are more successful or - worse - they feel like they've reached their peak.

They aren't alone.

I'm sure some of you reading this will feel the exact same way.

The most common reason for this is because you're too invested in your career and have been caught by the comparison trap.

It is that common. It does happen to everyone and it is a big deal.

Some of you will have caught the play on the Friends quote. It's the only way I could think of highlighting that it happens to the best of us. It really is a common problem that hits everyone at some point in their career.

I've been there myself. I've watched many people in my industry, who do similar things to me succeed in ways I feel I should be doing. When in reality, they don't do what I do and they aren't that successful.

The reality is, the value isn't really there for their clients and their passion to support their clients isn't genuine, unless there's something in it for them. They don't spend hours researching creative ways to elevate their clients to new heights. They don't answer emails outside of their allocated time slots. They don't stop what they're doing to send them time sensitive ideas they've come across outside of their sessions.

They simply want their client's money and in exchange for that, they do the bare minimum. They put them on a conveyor belt method of the same steps that don't work for everyone. Then they gaslight them into thinking they've not committed to the steps like their other clients did when they apparently achieved miracles with their basic plans.

When I see these types of people succeeding, it infuriates me.

That's when I know the comparison trap has caught me.

How to combat the comparison trap

Take time off

Taking time away from what you're doing can really help to clear your mind. It sounds cliche, and for some of you who are struggling it will feel impossible. But it works. Stick on your favourite album, get out into nature and walk. You'll come back feeling reset and refreshed.

Get reviews

Reach out to promoters whose shows you've performed at. Ask them for a review. You'll be surprised how many will light up your day and reinvigorate your passion, your purpose and inspire you to keep going. If you feel brave enough, ask for feedback and use any useful criticisms to improve your performance.

Work with people who get it

Whether that be someone in the industry, a consultant, a collaborative group, surround yourself with people who get it. My friends & family are wonderful people, but they really don't get what I do. So I know I can't rely on them to bounce round ideas and they can't relate to what I feel, because they just don't get it. So I found a group who do.

Whether that be someone in the industry - a consultant, or a collaborative group - make sure you surround yourself with people who get it. My friends & family are wonderful people, but they really don't get what I do. So I know I can't rely on them to bounce round ideas and they can't relate to what I feel, because they just don't get it. Most of them think this job is amazing, glamorous and a start studded fantasy. Others look at my career as a phase I've not grown out of and can't understand why I'd choose unstable income, antisocial hours and seriously hard work.

That's why I created community groups in the PR Mastery For The Arts App, because I know first hand how important it is to have people around you who get it. Creating the groups on the app was a key part of what makes the app such great space. There's no interruptions from distracting notifications like on the social media apps. This space is for like-minded people in industry to collaborate, bounce round ideas, share problems and celebrate each other's wins with.

Having a space like this can really help beat the comparison trap, especially when group members see that fellow members also face the same issues. To help avoid the community groups becoming a gloating space, I created a separate thread to share wins in. It helps users to avoid the community spaces becoming overwhelmed with "look how amazing I am" styled posts. Whilst those posts are great and you should definitely celebrate and share your wins, it's important to be in group spaces that don't trigger feelings of inadequacy.

Try something new

Sometimes, approaching your career from a new angle might be the key to breaking out and becoming successful. Just because others have done something and it worked for them, doesn't mean it will work for you or that you should do it just in case.

Going back to basics and revaluating who your target audience can produce some really useful insights into how you should approach them, where, when and what with. It's a great way to focus the work you produce and where to promote yourself effectively to maximise the results.

Plan for success

Have you lost your target market? What about your core reasons for doing what you do? Do your content columns need a refresh? Or maybe you need some new lead magnets to draw in a bigger tribe of followers who convert into paying audiences? Maybe it's time to get out there into the press and media to tell the world why you're the best in your industry? Make a plan with strategic steps to your goals and follow it though.

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The comparison trap is such an energy zapping, fatigue inducing, common threat to most people, regardless of the industry that you work in. In comedy it's so easy to fall into this space of "why are they doing better than me? I started before them?" Or fall for those who are faking it till they make it, when they boast about gigs they've done that are actually unpaid and won't necessarily lead to better things. Or: "How did that show sell out? My line up was miles better and I'm struggling to see this reaching break even".

The comparison trap is one of the key things that impacts all of my clients. It's one of the key reasons they book consultancy sessions with me. By the end of our Done With You sessions, they feel inspired, rejuvenated and ready to get out there and show everyone why they are the best, whilst feeling empowered and able to smash their goals.

Whilst it might feel a little hopeless whilst you're trapped in the vicious circle of comparison, try the ideas I mentioned and you'll find the comparison trap will ease its grip and you'll start seeing better results for it.

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