Sarah Beeny

BBC Three's latest font of malodorousness, The King Is Dead, has been described as "part spoof job interview, part chat show, part panel show and part character comedy"; you might say it was suffering from an identity crisis were that not ascribing rather too much sentient thought to its conception.

To expand: a panel of three comics, led by The Inbetweeners' Simon Bird, interview three celebrities vying to fill the shoes of a famous public figure. In this week's opener, said position was the United States president, the cue for 30 minutes of dismally aimless japery which matched spurious quizzes with Peaches Geldof flaunting her ignorance and James Corden frottaging a man dressed as a vending machine. Pity poor, rictus-grinned Sarah Beeny, whose demeanour was that of an interplanetary visitor stuck at a student rag-week party. Bird has seen fit to compare his show to Shooting Stars, though never has Vic and Bob's brand of whimsical surrealism seemed such a precious commodity.

It is quite possible for the entire 30-minute format to zoom by while one sits in a state of permanent bafflement. This, at least, is what happened to me. Chief among my head-scratching topics was the matter of why: why anyone's agents had allowed them to participate? Bird, yes, who made an excellent start on the comedy ladder as a kind of young David Mitchell in The Inbetweeners, but also the contestants.

Last night, we got Peaches Geldof, James Corden and Sarah Beeny, none of whom - last time I checked - were desperate for publicity (aside from Beeny, that is, but then she set up the My Single Friend website, so she's laughing all the way to the bank). So why, one wonders, had they submitted themselves to this? Unlike most make-a-fool-of-the-famous-person shows, it is virtually impossible to come off looking good, even if you, like Corden and Geldof, manage to make the odd good joke. The basic premise was that our celebrity contestants were "applying" for the job of US President. To do so, they had to engage in fights with vending machines, guess lines of movie dialogue and answer awkward questions. Unfortunately, there was not a nail-biting, amusing or revealing moment in it. Given this, perhaps it's not surprising that Beeny, the most boring of the three, won. Surely it can't last.

We love Simon Bird as briefcase-wielding bully bait Will in The Inbetweeners, but sadly this vehicle doesn't show him at his best. The concept is that someone holding a certain job has died - a police chief, for example - and he's conducting an interview for their replacement. However, all the applicants are celebrities, and in this first episode James Corden, Peaches Geldof and Sarah Beeny are all vying to be given the job of President of the USA. Perhaps the only reason you may want to tune in is to see Peaches being given a bit of a hard time.