Sandi Toksvig

Sandi Toksvig on some truly Olympian egg-throwing

Which to visit first, the chicken show or the egg-throwing championships?

The unbearable smugness of Sandi Toksvig

I love the Danes. If they want to ban Marmite, that's fine by me. Yes of course it's tasty, in small doses, but isn't there something inherently WRONG about something of which A LITTLE GOES A LONG WAY? If it's so great, why would you have to SPREAD THINLY? What other foodstuff takes as its USP the fact that LOTS OF PEOPLE HATE IT? Face it, if Marmite was a person, it would be a pervert.

Now they've banned Marmite, can we ban Sandi Toksvig?

I wasn't planning to review this show but things changed for reasons you will soon discover.

The long running satirical panel game, currently hosted by Sandi Toksvig, has been running since 1977, and last week saw the start of its 74th series. This week's guests included regular performers Jeremy Hardy and Susan Calman, semi-regular Will Smith, and journalist Matthew Parris.

There were some topics that you would expect to be covered, such as the royal wedding, super injunctions and Libya, but then it came to the subject of tuition fees, and how most universities are raising them to extortionate rates.

Among those are my old university, Teesside University in Middlesbrough, which this week announced it was planning to put up its fees of £8,500. As you would expect, they took the mickey out of the region. Parris said that what was actually going on was that they were actually selling the whole university for £8,500.

Smith said that £8,500 tuition fees were a status thing, but argued that if this was the reason that they should just change the name to "Oxbridge University of the North" or "Hogwarts".

It cost the university £20,000 to change its logo and the name of the establishment to "Teesside University" from "University of Teesside", so £8,500 is nothing, really. Toksvig at the end claimed that if anyone was offended, the £8,500 includes, "a whole row of terrace houses."

To be honest with you, I was shocked when I heard them talking about Teesside in such a fashion, because I am amazed that anyone on BBC Radio 4 has even heard of Teesside.

I didn't mind The News Quiz mocking my old university, though. I'm just glad it got the publicity, even if it was not the most glowing publicity. To be honest, when I heard that the fees were going up, I was on Twitter arguing the raise was impossible; because no-one in Teesside has £8,500. (It's true - I'm currently writing this on a Windows 98 in a skip near a Starbucks, leeching onto the Wi-Fi).

The News Quiz show is still entertaining after so many years, and because it is on at 6.30pm, it mocks the news two-and-a-half hours before Have I Got News for You does. Well worth a listen.

If we must cry, let them be tears of laughter

Humour can seem an unlikely response during times of grief or tragedy but this is when seeing the funny side of life is so vital.

Sometimes it can seem as if standup comedians are everywhere. Clustered on panel shows, chat shows, sitcoms; hosting clips programmes, commenting on the news, making you chicken pie when you get home at night...

That's just me (I'm married to a standup), and that's a bad joke. Not quite as bad as some we heard on Stand Up For Comic Relief, but close.

Last week, Radio 4 took us through the now familiar process of established comedians mentoring novices for charidee (you phone in to vote for the best, and the money goes to Comic Relief). Thus, Dev from Radio 1 was tutored by Chris Ramsey, Radio 2's Tony Blackburn got Julian Clary, Tom Service (Radio 3) by Sandi Toksvig, Jenni Murray (Radio 4) by Mark Steel, Tony Livesey (5Live) worked with Justin Moorhouse and Shaun Keaveny from 6Music was paired with Miles Jupp. (If there was ever a sign that the BBC are now fully supportive of 6Music, Shaun doing Comic Relief is it.)

Before we heard the routines, in the "funny" 6.30pm slot on Wednesday, Radio 4 offered us two half-hour puff pieces on Monday and Tuesday, where the newbies expressed their fear and competitiveness and their mentors cracked funnies. Tony Blackburn was the coolest, his shtick so tough that Clary's advice could only slide off it like an egg chucked at a tank. Blackburn refused to meet Clary more than once, and was as corny as can be, his light-ent persona carrying him through hoary gags such as getting the whole audience to look under their seats for a nonexistent prize. Tony Livesey was cheesy too, in ye old working men's club manner: terrible jokes, delivered with a wink and some panache. Shaun Keaveny was likable, as were Jenni Murray and Tom Service. But best by far was Dev, who told a truthful, funny, well-constructed story about asking a girl out complete with call-backs to earlier jokes. He should win.

As an aside, much as Comic Relief is an admirable institution, it should be held at least partly responsible for all these standups and their hijacking of mainstream culture. Funny is God, these days. (And God, though good with a one-liner, wasn't actually much of a giggle.) Oh, I'm so sick of listening to people say stuff that sounds as though it's a punch-line, but isn't actually, you know, funny. Hey ho. Adam and Joe will be back on 6Music next month. They really do make me laugh.

Sandi Toksvig and Sue Perkins test out the audience

Imaginative new comedy show is at Arts Theatre before an appearance at the Telegraph Hay Festival.

The News Quiz: Are men the problem in football?

This week's News Quiz lineup features Jeremy Hardy, Sue Perkins, Paul Sinha and Carrie Quinlan alongside presenter Sandi Toksvig. Tonight, the panel tackles Sky Sports' own goal, and asks, 'Are men the problem in football?'

News Quiz: the clink is going to shrink

Here's an advance dose of tonight's News Quiz, featuring Susan Calman, Jeremy Hardy, Henning Wehn and Sue Perkins. After Justice Secretary Ken Clarke announced the closure of three "outdated and expensive" prisons, Sandi Toksvig asks German stand-up Henning Wehn for an analysis.

Britain's Next Top News Quiz

Tonight's News Quiz on Radio 4 sees the esteemed panel of Francis Wheen and Jeremy Hardy slogging it out against Sue Perkins and Andy Hamilton to win points from Sandi Toksvig by answering questions about topical events. Who will win? We literally don't know*. (*We literally do. The show was recorded on Thursday night. We're just not telling.)

You never know, it might get witty this time. The venerable topical comment panel show returns for another season. Sandi Toksvig chairs, Jeremy Hardy, Sue Perkins and brilliant Andy Hamilton are among the guests. But is the nation in the mood for comedians taking pot shots? I doubt it. These are hard times and likely to get harder. That's why the gloriously spiky surrealism of Jon Holmes's Listen Against in this slot on Tuesdays is such a tonic. If News Quiz wants to be more than a habit it had better shape up. Radio 4's new Controller is listening.