Peter Crouch

Strictly's Shirley, Darcey and Craig join Jonathan on the sofa tonight, alongside the man Theresa May models her own dance moves on: Peter Crouch. All this plus comedian Joe Lycett, Black Earth Rising's Michaela Coel and a previous Ivor Novello awards songwriter of the year, Tom Odell, performing in the studio.

Here's a sneering corrective if you're worried about all that enforced merriment to come. Sean Lock hosts this Christmas edition of the comic debate show. Plus there's the sight of Robert Webb, Seann Walsh, Jason Manford and Micky Flanagan acting like five argumentative, drunken uncles souring the mood at the family lunch.

Despite the debating society format, most topics dissolve into blokey, filthy banter - all right, they start out pretty blokey and filthy. You may not come away imbued with festive spirit, but at least Sean Lock reveals Santa's true appearance - a cross between the X-Men's Wolverine and Peter Crouch. Watch out for him this Christmas, kids!