Peter Andre

There is so much wrong with 'Big Fat Quiz Of The Year' - can it really survive?

The annual comedy quiz has been a Christmas staple since 2004 - but its childish one-liners and macho atmosphere mean it struggles to feel fresh.

For comedy fans with a flexible quality threshold, here's another hour-sized chunk of chat from Chez Brown. Agnes and family shuffle up the sofa to make way for choirmaster Gareth Malone and singer Peter Andre, Nick Knowles joins Dermot and Buster's Celebrity Boat Tour, while Foley's pub clears out the snug for a performance by Steps. Light entertainment? Light on entertainment, more like.

"Was Bowie really a bender or was he putting it on?" is one of the questions that come tumbling from the mouth of former glam-rocker Ray, a "service user" visited by the titular mental health professional in Nurse (Wednesday, 11pm, Radio 4). Ray feels that everybody did better than he did: Bolan, Springsteen and, unaccountably, Peter Andre.

Like all the male characters in this serious comedy, Ray is played by Paul Whitehouse, who created the show along with David Cummings. The nurse, played by Esther Coles, provides reassurance to each of them, from the bed-bound middle-aged man who lives with his mother to Ray, still furious that his star-spangled peers managed to spin out their careers longer than he did.

Peter Andre in hot water for Iceland joke on Cele Juice

Peter Andre is currently the face of supermarket chain Iceland. But fans have called for him to be sacked after the singer and TV star made a quip about the fact he appears in their TV adverts, hinting that it's embarrassing.

Radio Times review

Ross welcomes two big stars, and Peter Andre. Liam Neeson, Oscar-nominated for Schindler's List, has latterly become an action hero in the two Taken films. He'' been in the headlines recently for his part in a battle to save New York Central Park's horse-drawn carriage industry from being axed by the city's mayor, Bill de Blasio.

Fellow guest Goldie Hawn recently addressed the World Economic Forum in Davos on, of all things, meditation. Meanwhile, Andre, father to a new baby girl, will probably talk about how much he loves his kids, and there's music from Pixie Lott.

One of the major hazards was averted last night when Celebrity Juice's Christmas Special was screened early - but if a teenage relative unwraps a Keith Lemon box set under the tree and you cannot escape, here's how to cope.

Lemon is a gameshow host played by comedian Leigh Francis - he's grindingly upbeat and thick as walrus blubber. Imagine Keith Chegwin with the swear filter switched off, and you've got him. His act is a stream of four-letter words and single entendres, while his guests grin fixedly through the humiliation.

Lemon's panel game, Celebrity Juice, is a cross between a chat show and the Seventies children's romp Tiswas.

The highlight of the Christmas Special was Peter Andre getting coloured gunk poured over his head. Even Noel Edmonds has grown out of that kind of TV.

My advice is to keep your paper party hat to hand. If you do get trapped into watching this dross, pull it down over your eyes and pretend to be asleep.

This is a simple, old-school, hidden-camera prank show adapted from an Irish series and given a new name. A man talks to a bemused plumber in a high voice complaining about the "whoooosh!" noise his toilet makes. A woman accosts a fellow passenger on the bus claiming to recognise him as Peter Andre. A workman claims to be a "cowboy builder" whose mate has got stuck in cement.

They're slight ideas that shouldn't work as well as they do, but the performers are just convincing enough, and some of the victims' reactions are wonderful. I loved the patient-but-firm tattoo artist trying to convince a man who wants the whole Bible inked on his back that it'll never work.

What's the worst British comedy ever? My list would be topped by Sex Lives Of The Potato Men, Guest House Paradiso and Lesbian Vampire Killers, but a brave new contender is Keith Lemon: The Film.

Optimistically calculated to cash in on the success last year of The Inbetweeners Movie, this is a spin-off of an ITV2 series in which 'comedian' Leigh Francis plays Mr Lemon, a Yorkshire entrepreneur who sees himself as the new Richard Branson.

His orange tan, long blond hair and tendency to ogle buxom beauties and celebs are more redolent of Peter Stringfellow.

His desire to discuss bodily functions evokes unpleasant memories of Dr Gillian McKeith.
Nothing funny happens, and a good deal that is repulsive does, none of it describable in a family paper.

Among the glitterati are Peter Andre, Fearne Cotton and Jedward. In some inner circle of Hell, this movie will be for ever playing.

ITV2's new spoof reality show Lemon La Vida Loca may well sail over the heads of those Celebrity Juice fans who think Keith Lemon is a real person.

But there have been enough knowing winks in the first two episodes to suggest it could have legs.
One thing, Keith. If you do want a second series, you and your lovely lady, Rosie, need to get busy in the baby-making department. These shows seldom survive if there aren't at least a couple of cute kids to coo over. Just ask Peter Andre (who, by the way, still loves his kids.)