Nicholas Parsons

Nicholas Parsons on how comedy and TV has changed

The remarkable 89-year-old was horrified at recent claims he said dolly birds in short skirts in TV shows still play an important role.

Every day, in a stairwell at Broadcasting House, I pass by a photograph of Nicholas Parsons. If you haven't seen that photo, you've seen one like it. Down the years, Nicholas must have been photographed thousands of times with timepieces of all descriptions. He is invariably pointing at them, and beaming as if the clock in question is the most wonderful object ever conceived.

And well he might. Since the earliest days of Radio 4 in 1967, Nicholas has presided over Just a Minute with the same glee exhibited in every publicity shot. His cry of "Welcome to Just a Minute!" at the start of each programme is as enthusiastic a greeting as you'll hear on the radio... an enthusiasm that the passing decades have not dimmed.

His cheery and wily chairmanship are the backbone of it all, with the game's players giving the show new form every week. For a programme obsessed with the passing seconds, time has robbed it of some of its most accomplished participants. Paul Merton is now the mainstay, though he's not here for this first edition of a new series: here it's Gyles Brandreth who picks up and runs with his topics, full of clever word play, boisterous energy and mischief.

As always, anarchy is never far away. In round one, panellist Patrick Kielty accuses Parsons of behaving like a contestant and awards him a point. Never a wasted minute.

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Jenny Eclair, Greg Proops, Nicholas Parsons, Kate Copstick, Sean Hughes, Philip Pope and more talk about the highs and lows of the Fringe.

Radio 4 panel games come and go. In some cases they come, then stick around for decades after you wish they'd disappeared. But not this one, which might still be the best of the bunch. Nicholas Parsons, Paul Merton and other regulars are back for the show's 66th series - and in the first episode, fans will be holding their breath for 60 full seconds as Graham Norton achieves the rare feat of speaking for a minute without hesitating, deviating or repeating himself. Pam Ayres and new BBC2 sketch-comedy star Kevin Eldon round out a great panel.

As any JAM fan will tell you, it's not often that a panellist speaks for the whole minute, uninterrupted, without deviation, hesitation or repetition, but that's exactly what Graham Norton does here. Admittedly, he does have a distinct advantage with his subject matter - it's the Eurovision Song Contest - but even so, it's a rare enough event to inspire a warm and spontaneous round of applause from the audience.

And Nicholas Parsons takes some gentle ribbing from Paul Merton when he manages to work his forename into a round entitled "Fur coat and no knickers" - "You've been waiting 45 series to use that gag," says Merton.

"I don't disturb you when you're working, do I?" snaps stand-up comic Jimmy O at a Comedy Store heckler. "I don't come in the alleyway and knock the cocks out of your mouth."

Having honed his craft on the Northern club circuit, Jimmy is attempting to move into the lucrative cruise ship business where the atmosphere is a lot less adversarial, but the audience is older and more conservative in its tastes.

"I'm not happy with any shades of blue," warns Richard Sykes, cruise director of the Ocean Countess as she navigates the Hebrides. "Also, please don't abuse the passengers."

Jimmy will have to tailor his material accordingly. But the question is, will he have any material left?

Funny Business followed Jimmy on-board his new, floating stage, as well as exploring the phenomenal growth of an industry in which variety acts - and comics in particular - are in big demand.

The programme interviewed bookers, agents and veteran performers such as Tom O'Connor and Nicholas Parsons, who all expressed enormous enthusiasm for this once-derided but now burgeoning home for live entertainment. Meanwhile, they acknowledged the fundamental problem facing the industry - how to appeal to a younger, edgier market without alienating the established clientele.

Hired to test the waters but without making waves, so to speak, Jimmy O is on something of a hiding to nothing, but his act doesn't do him any favours. Witty, personable and charming among the passengers on deck, Jimmy sacrifices all three to a stage persona that isn't so much slow burn as catatonic.

He gets laughs, but not many, and cruise director Richard is further enraged at being short-changed by 25 minutes for a 45-minute slot. Which, given Jimmy O's speed of delivery, translates into about ten minutes of actual material. His booking is immediately terminated with a ruthlessness Captain Bligh would have approved of.

'Cruising is the gig to have,' says black American comic Percy Crews 2, 'Cruising, now, is like the new Las Vegas.' No, he's not talking about searching for an anonymous fuck; the third and final episode of BBC2's doc series about the comedy industry focuses on the lives of cruise-ship comedians, and the big bucks they can earn at sea.

Through interviews with old-school entertainers like Nicholas Parsons and Tom O'Connor, we learn what's required to keep the passengers amused, and how being aboard with your audience means you're on stage even when on deck. What's the secret? 'It's getting as old as most of the passengers,' jokes one-man-band performer Bruce Thompson. But the cruise industry has inevitably changed over the last 30 years. Those loyal older passengers still want the safe veterans, but a new younger audience are coming aboard, and that's where Percy Crews 2 comes in, playing edgier, late-night shows on the more party-centric ships.

But we know this goes on, and if we didn't, it's not exactly a huge surprise. Interesting enough, but not the eye-opener we were hoping for.

Nicholas Parsons: My family values

The actor and radio and television presenter talks about growing up the middle child of three and the struggle to fulfil his dreams of becoming an actor.