British Comedy Guide

Künt releases anti-monarchy song via The Krown Jewels

Thursday 6th April 2023, 9:00am

The Krown Jewels
  • Musicial comedian Künt and his band have re-named themselves as The Krown Jewels to release a new single
  • Scrap The Monarchy will be released on the 5th May 2023, the eve of the coronation of King Charles
  • The song contains no expletives in the hope the press and chart rundown will mention it, however the lyrics are still likely to prove controversial

Musical comedy group The Kunts have re-branded themselves as The Krown Jewels to release a song called Scrap The Monarchy.

The new single follows on from their previous recent releases; Boris Johnson is a F***ing C***, Boris Johnson is STILL a F***ing C***, F*** The Tories and Prince Andrew is a Sweaty N***e. The group managed to chart each of those songs despite the expletive lyrics resulting in radio stations and press outlets refusing to play or mention their work.

However, as they now explain: "Scrap The Monarchy contains no expletives, in order that it can be covered in the press, played on the radio and announced on the BBC Radio 1 chart rundown."

They may still face being 'banned' from mainstream media though, as the song contains lyrics such as "King Charles's fingers are so fat, swollen, sore and red; From swans that he gets fed and things he does in bed" and "They stand for racist values and inequality; It's time to have a vote; Then stick them all in a small boat."

The group themselves explain: "Scrap The Monarchy sees singer K at his scathing best, as the song takes aim at the very notion of a Royal Family living in luxury while normal people are suffering with a cost of living crisis, while also addressing King Charles's links with the UK's most prolific paedophile Jimmy Savile, Prince Andrew's botched attempt to pay off and silence his sexual assault accuser, and Prince William's obvious virtue signalling - 'Not so much Prince Charming, more Prince Charm Offensive'.

"The Krown Jewels are busy putting the finishing touches to the video which features the band in a dance routine dressed as guardsmen, heads on spikes and a King Charles lookalike with saveloys for fingers."

The band describe the song as "A sing-a-long for the millions of people who don't want to engage with the BBC's dull, simpering, and overly-extensive coverage, for which, like the Coronation, we are ultimately footing the bill."

Scrap The Monarchy will be released on 5th May 2023, the eve of the Coronation.

Scrap The Monarchy lyrics

The coronation seems a good occasion to discuss
Why one family live in palaces, all subsidised by us
While folks rely on foodbanks, and we're supposed to rejoice
As a crown is chauffeured round in a custom made Rolls Royce
It's time for this to stop. Let's give the royals the chop

Scrap the monarchy
Scrap the monarchy
Their pampered lives are vile while people live in poverty
In inhumane conditions
While out of date traditions
Mean we all pay for the royals to live in luxury, so
Scrap the monarchy

King Charles's fingers are so fat, swollen, sore and red
From swans that he gets fed and things he does in bed
He propogates the narrative he's a climate protester
But his best friend was Jimmy Savile, Britain's foremost child molester
And his brother Prince Andrew, he's a noncecase too

Scrap the monarchy
Scrap the monarchy
They turn a blind eye to their paedos like the BBC
They think they can pay
For it all to go away
But covering up for nonces is their lasting legacy, so
Scrap the monarchy

What do they do? What do they do? What do they actually do?
What do they do? What do they do? They sponge off me and you

But what about Prince WIlliam? You're being so unfair
He's never had a mistress, or embarked on an affair
Maybe we have pegged him wrong, he really seems to care
And there's proof. When he does his good deeds, there's always cameras there
Samaritans, Big Issue, the list is comprehensive
Not so much Prince Charming, more Prince Charm Offensive

Scrap the monarchy
Scrap the monarchy
They don't give a hoot about the likes of you and me
Look past their PR
You'll see who they really are
A sinister, callous, entitled ideology, so
Scrap the monarchy
Scrap the monarchy
They stand for racist values and inequality
It's time to have a vote
Then stick them all in a small boat
And let them take their chances in some far flung colony
Scrap the monarchy

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