Marcus Brigstocke

I have no idea what Giles Wemmbley Hogg Geht Zum Fussballweltmeisterschaft Weg! means, or even whether it's spelled correctly. If it's an obscenity, blame the BBC. But it probably has something to do with football (boo!) and definitely marks the return of Giles Wemmbley Hogg (hooray!), the globetrotting ignoramus played by Marcus Brigstocke. This three-part series, written by Brigstocke and Jeremy Salsby, sees him caught up in the "excitement" of the World Cup, after booking a strolling holiday in the Schwarzwald in the foolish belief that "it'll be nice and quiet this time of year". He's never even played football before, although he was sports monitor at his public school - or, as he puts it: "I was the only one allowed to touch the master's ball bag."

During the competition, Giles finds himself caught up in a series of baffling adventures involving the Iranian squad, a stolen World Cup trophy, a very big cake and 50 sticks of Leipzig rock. To make matters worse, his fiancee, Bella, is coming out to meet him in Nuremberg to plan their wedding... with her mother.

If, like me, you travel in hope and still tune in to 5 Live, only to spend the next six hours banging your head on your desk, let me suggest a balm: Marcus Brigstocke. I have an aural crush on the mild-mannered, laconic comedian, who stars in several Radio 4 shows, not least the very jolly Giles Wemmbley Hogg Goes Off, in which he plays a kind-hearted but tragically thick Sloane.

People who have listened to my Giles Wemmbley Hogg series are sometimes surprised to discover that I am he. I spent a great deal of my gap year in his shoes, travelling round Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia. I actually went out to meet a girlfriend, but she dumped me as soon as I arrived, so I bought a bicycle and decided to cycle the whole length of Malaysia instead. The most arduous part of the journey was cycling up into the Cameron Highlands, which are more than 5,000ft above sea level, but I kept myself going with the knowledge that on the way back, it would all be downhill, and I could just sit back and take in the views. As it happened, the bike seized up at the top and I ended up having to pedal extremely hard just to make the thing budge.

One character who needs no laughter track is Giles Wemmbley Hogg, the chinless and clueless young globetrotter played by Marcus Brigstocke. (If you missed his previous outings, imagine Prince Harry with a backpack.) Giles Wemmbley Hogg Goes Off sees Budleigh Salterton's most famous son return for another six adventures; first stop is a North Sea oil rig, where Giles must overcome class prejudice, a smitten skipper and the infamous Scottish "food".