Kanye West

Lee Nelson: how I gatecrashed Kanye West's Glastonbury

In June, Glastonbury hosted its most controversial headliner for several years. But the man who upstaged even Kanye West was a 38-year-old comedian known as Lee Nelson.

In an interview with The Telegraph, Simon Brodkin, the man behind the persona, explains how he got past Glastonbury's security to invade the Pyramid Stage during West's set, proving that persistence is key if you are trying to get into high security areas.

Edinburgh preview: Lee Nelson

Balls of steel. Testicles of Titanium. Nutsacks of pure granite. I can't really come up with a better explanation of how Simon Brodkin has managed to pull off his recent stunts, joining Kanye West onstage at Glastonbury and showering Sepp Blatter with fake bank notes.

Jonathan Ross would only have Kim Kardashian as a guest on his show if it was a "quiet week", it has been reported.

The chat show host admits he isn't entirely sure what the Kardashian family do for a living and would prioritise other guests over them - but he would be keen on having Kim's husband Kanye West on for a natter.

"I've had Kanye on and I'd probably have Kim," he explained.

"The Kardashians are a remarkable phenomenon, but it is still quite hard to work out what they actually do.

"I would probably bear in mind that I don't do as many shows per year as I used to, so unless it was a very quiet week, I might not want to go with the Kardashians. I'd maybe still go with Kanye."

I can't believe I'm the last person to be turned on to Burnistoun's pawky, plooky wit, to move around the workplace shouting "For real!", to instruct the kids that when you find ­yourself dissatisfied with your surroundings, the only reasonable response is "Up the road!" It didn't grab me at the start and I gave up - too soon, because new sketch shows often seem more miss than hit until they get under your skin, and in its third season Burnistoun has got under mine like scabies. Third and last, alas. The "Save Burnistoun" campaign - which I'm prepared to downgrade to the "Gie's a Christmas special at least" initiative in exchange for a month's supply of macaroon bars because, yes, I can be bought - starts here.

My criteria for a winning comedy are: a) Does it make me laugh? b) Are there good-looking burds in it? c) Does it allow me to come over all pretentious about sub-text, deeper meaning and Scottish identity? The answers are yes, yes and yes. Burnistoun seems to be saying that Scotland, formerly a land of inventors, may be stuck in the hoose these days but it continues to embrace the new. Who is Jolly Boy John, home-broadcasting on his laptop in Speedos to techno, if not the son of Jolly Boy John Logie Baird? As Scott, shell-suited mate of the equally sports-casual Peter, puts it: "Even yer maw's life-streamin' noo."

Not all change is good. The "Up the road!" boys loathe trendy ambience when they're out for a drink or a meal. Hairy McClowdry, host of Kiltie Time, incorporates Kanye West and Ryan Gosling into his heedrum-hodrum rhymes but that's deemed acceptable, whereas it's not okay for history presenters to stride around moors, all lustrous of barnet (Neil Oliver, I think they mean you). If there's schizophrenia at work on Burnistoun, well, isn't that the national condition? One thing we can all agree on, I'm sure, is that it's plain wrong for local talent to swan off to Hollywood and come back talking about how great it is to be "Skaddish" (Lulu, Sheena Easton and Gerard Butler, stop it now). If the show's creators, Iain Connell and Robert Florence, ever get to Hollywood - and I'd love to see Burnistoun: The Movie - it's a pretty safe bet they won't make the same ­mistake.

One of the sweet things about this series is how conventional Gavin and Stacey actually are. Last week, they decided to try for a baby, so by golly this week, that's what they're going to do - even if their friends and family keep getting in the way.

Just the simple act of ordering an Indian takeaway - as the Shipmans are trying to do tonight - can turn into a three-ring circus with this lot. They're not so much a family, as a herd, constantly migrating from one end of the M4 to the other.

While Nessa and Bryn steal the show again, this week with a fortune-telling business and a job interview respectively, tonight's other YouTube-worthy highlight sees Smithy and Rudi duetting on American Boy. You would be looking at James Corden a long time before you spotted any similarity between him and Kanye West but this duo should consider joining Pam on her Britain's Got Talent quest. And expect one more big development before the night is out.

The un-subtle sketch show (yes, that title is a useful advert) is back for an astonishing third series. Although the targets are obvious, the musical spoofs are far and away the best thing here, from the calculated wardrobe malfunctions of Lady Gaga to Kanye West's overuse of Auto-Tune ("I got it half-price/I bought it off Posh Spice"). And it's all pretty quickfire, which is a blessing because many of the situations feel as if they were knocked together in a few minutes. Still, you might enjoy Lily Allen: paramedic, or Bea and Eugenie hosting How Clean Is Your Palace?

Katy Brand's Kanye an egomaniac

I'm loving comedian Katy Brand's send-up of egomaniac Kanye West.