Jonathan Ross

Chat will eat itself

So last night, Jonathan Ross, presenter of chat show Friday Night with Jonathan Ross, was a guest on the chat show Alan Carr: Chatty Man...

Jonathan Ross sues over chatshow claims

Jonathan Ross is suing Telegraph Media Group for defamation over an article claiming that celebrities rejected invitations to appear on his chatshow.

Now I like TV as much as the next geek daftie (look, I really do have a Bonekickers DVD boxset, honestly), but even my blood turned to ice when I read about the BBC's new Friday night panel quiz show...

Presenter Steve Jones, spreading his wings beyond T4, will host As Seen on TV (you see what they did there?), a panel game in a Buzzcocks stylee on the subject of, well, TV. The team captains will be outgoing This Morning host Fern Britton and comedian Jason Manford (drafted in from C4's 8 Out of 10 Cats).

Honestly, is that the best they can come up with for a Friday night these days? Really? Wow, Jay Hunt is making some dynamic commissioning decisions in her early days as BBC1 controller. Did nobody, at any point, sit her down and show her an episode of It's Only TV... But I Like It, the Jonathan Ross hosted TV themed panel game show? One can only assume not...

Panel shows, like Buzzcocks, HIGNFY and QI can be good, enjoyable, even subversive television. But the alchemy of getting the right make-up of on-screen talent and format to make it work is a tricky thing to pull off. One bum note and it all goes out of the window.

But whatever the success or otherwise of the finished product, on the surface, As Seen on TV just sounds like lazy, middle of the road television. Surely we deserve better? Or am I expecting too much these days?

A fairly average stab at a new chat show, with an impressive line up for the first episode. However, with Jonathan Ross, Graham Norton and Paul O'Grady already busy on the chat show circuit, do we really have any need for another one?

It's a sad day for stand-up comedy fans. Now that Jonathan Ross has almost served his sentence, this will be the last outing for Live At The Apollo. And there's no word yet on if or when the series will return.

First up tonight is Russell Howard, who toddles on stage looking like a lost schoolboy but within seconds turns into a kid pumped up on too much Sunny Delight. With the customary energy we know from Mock The Week, he bounces from one subject to the next, starting with bizarre heckles then evil sandwiches and bus stops with hats to scary 13-yearolds and why you should never underestimate little old ladies.

He also has a genius way of livening up a trip to Ikea - if you've had a few drinks and live near a branch that's open until midnight, you might want to head off straight away (but only if it's walking distance or you know a sober driver, OK?).

The second act is Jo Brand, who tackles topics including Russian brides, the dangers of going to the pub, Barbie dolls and why Bruce Forsyth should wear baggy trousers that show off his bum crack.

I know, it's not an image I want to think about for too long either..

Gavin's Gag Over Joke

James Corden and Mathew Horne revealed the BBC banned songs about Jesus on their new sketch show after the Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand prank row.

I know what I'd like for Christmas - another scandal involving Jonathan Ross so Live At The Apollo can permanently replace his Friday night show. A nice bit of stand-up comedy is a perfect way to start the weekend, and the creative team always seem to get the perfect performer mix (though if I had my way, brilliant Michael McIntyre, who was in the first episode, would be on every single week).

Tonight's host is 8 Out Of 10 Cats stalwart Sean Lock, who shares his genius way of how to have fun with wrong numbers, and also his trick for getting local kids off his car without getting a mouthful of abuse.

He has a good old moan about pizza leaflets, self-service checkouts and confusing pub toilets (we've all been there - at some trendy bar, wondering which squiggle on the door is supposed to represent male and female).

With those rants out of the way, it's time to introduce the main act, the amiable Jason Manford - who just so happens to be his 8 Out Of 10 Cats rival. But that's never mentioned, of course. There'll be no plugging of rival channels here, thank you very much.

Stand-Up On The Box

Does stand-up comedy work on TV? It's a question regularly asked by TV people and we are about to find out again. The stand-up showcase Live At The Apollo is due to fill the Jonathan Ross-shaped hole on BBC1 from Friday 28 November.

Producers and directors, weep and despair! Bilious but brutally funny critic Charlie Brooker is back for another series of satirical swipes at the television industry. First up in his cross-hairs, expensive but bland television dramas, property shows and the furore surrounding Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross.

Sometimes you just have to admit you were wrong. And, as Beautiful People limed to a disappointing conclusion, the bloom had well and truly left the cheeks of Jonathan Harvey's saga of a high camp Reading childhood.

So forget all the praise I'd heaped on it back in the beginning because all the decent jokes and imaginative set pieces got used up in the first two episodes. After that point, it went downhill quicker than Jonathan Ross's bargaining power at the BBC.

Even the arrival of Frances Barber as a madly bohemian teacher couldn't rescue Beautiful People's decline into limp-wristed cliché. Quite why Barber, an actress who could turn the weather forecast into a Greek tragedy, isn't a major star is just one of life's inexplicable injustices.