Johnny Vegas

Johnny Vegas married couple on stage at a show

Comic Johnny Vegas "married" a couple on stage at a show - then paid for their honeymoon.

Johnny Vegas 'I could be Susan Boyle's double'

Comedian Johnny Vegas has said that he is willing to work as Susan Boyle's double if his comedy career comes to an end.

Round 3.1: Viva Johnny Vegas

Following the Red team's massive humiliation last night - a 100% clean-sweep by the Blues - Marcus begged me to review the events of the 'closely-fought first battle' (in which he was thrashed in every round) because he's "not feeling well enough to write his blog this week".

Johnny Vegas 'wants Shooting Stars return'

Johnny Vegas has revealed that he is keen to reunite with Shooting Stars hosts Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer.

Popular though it may be, Benidorm, the sitcom starring Sheila Reid, can be distasteful. In tonight's penultimate episode of the third series, dishonesty pervades the Spanish seaside resort: Gavin (Hugh Sachs) learns that Troy (Paul Bazely) is apparently cheating on him, while the elaborate stories of the Oracle (Johnny Vegas) land him in a spot of bother with the local police. Elsewhere, Diana (Una Stubbs) arrives to help her recently conned son Martin (Nicholas Burns) get back on his feet.

Derren Litten's comedy showcases a certain kind of lobster-coloured all-Englishness that can only be found abroad nowadays. It's broad rather than acute, and occasionally hidebound (an Indian trainee doctor from Varanesi who speaks no English? No way), but a familiar cast, including Johnny Vegas and Steve Pemberton, help make for viewing as comfy as a carton of chips. This week, Madge runs into her marginally less horrible, estranged daughter Valda, while Robin Askwith, he of the Confessions of . . . series, crops up as a typically conniving cockney chancer.

Madge, who contributes a memorable karaoke spot to tonight's episode, must be one of the most hateful characters ever to appear in a comedy.

Another of her estranged daughters turns up unexpectedly at the hotel tonight, with her new husband in tow - an Indian doctor who speaks no English.

Along with the ongoing storyline that sees Geoff (Johnny Vegas) trying to persuade folk that he's not gay, it's like something out of the 1970s.

And there's another blast from the past as guest star Robin Askwith (from the Confessions Of... films) checks in tonight playing a cockney conman. He's the best thing in the show, with a great character face that doesn't look lived-in so much as completely trashed by squatters. He'll be hoping no one at the Solanas asks, "Can I carry your bags?"

This series should be sponsored by Visit Britain, because it's doing a brilliant job of persuading viewers they'd be better off holidaying at home.

Tonight there's a visit to Peacock Island - the last unspoiled bit of Benidorm - but Mel has big plans to change all that. And look out again for a brilliant guest starring role from Tim Healy, while Geoff The Oracle (Johnny Vegas) discovers the perils of online dating.

Subtle it ain't - the gags are flagged up so clearly you could probably see them from space - but Benidorm definitely has its attractions.

Ever since Johnny Vegas confessed to a lively online role-playing life, in which he entered chatrooms under the pseudonym "Bashful", you get the feeling script-writers have been looking to explore the notion again. Tonight, they finally do, as Geoff goes online dating, while his mother canvasses opinions as to whether or not he might be gay. A strange mixture of home truths and Carry On humour, Benidorm feels high-quality and low-rent, sometimes at the same time. Tim Healy's guest spot is certainly one to remember.

Usually, I don't mind things that are a little down-market. You know: chips, tower blocks, Total Wipeout, that kind of stuff. It can be quite amusing. But Benidorm is at least one rung too far down the ladder. Not the place, which I went to once for a holiday (ironic of course) - it was rather charming. But the ITV sitcom, which is back, inexplicably, for a third series. Well, there is an explanation of course: millions of people watch it. The mystery is why they do.

"My mind and body have been finely tuned," Johnny Vegas's character tells Mateo, the Spanish hotel bar man, threateningly, by the pool.

"Finely chewed by what?" asks Mateo. Tuned, chewed, a misunderstanding joke, do you see? There's a sunburn joke, too. And a bit of light innuendo:

"Another 10 minutes and you would have missed Madge's big entrance."

"I don't like the sound of that."

I think it was innuendo, anyway. Anyway, it's all so terribly limp and clunky and obvious. The arrival of Sheridan Smith as Martin's new friend Brandy is a little injection of life. But it will take more than one busty loud-mouthed scouser to save Benidorm. Not that it needs to be saved, unfortunately; millions will continue to watch no doubt, and more series will be commissioned.