Jack Whitehall

I managed to get an exclusive sneak preview of what Jessie J might look like once she's had her head shaved tonight. It's not great, to be honest.

What I did is, I put Jessie's photo into the hugely amusing Bald Booth app on my iPhone, which magically shows you what anyone will look like as a slaphead. And a few seconds later - hey presto! - there she was, smooth as a pickled egg.

Well, almost. The snag is, this ingenious app doesn't actually erase the hair on either side of a person's head, just on top, so Jessie ends up looking more like my Uncle Norman.

I can't imagine that's the look she'll be hoping for tonight. Having said that, you don't catch my Uncle Norman complaining.

As for the other highlights of tonight's marathon, they include Ricky Gervais returning as David Brent, Jack Whitehall going head-to-head with Micky Flanagan in a special MasterChef, Simon Cowell getting married, sort of, and One Direction treating us to their offcial Comic Relief single, Pledge Fifty Quid And You're Allowed To Give Each Of Us A Good Slap. To donate, call 03457 910910.

That's Jessie J under the swirl of shaving foam, and the reason she's posing like the queen of the Oompa Loompas is that she'll be shaving her hair off as part of tonight's culmination to Red Nose Day. Yes, it's time for the stunts and dares and unlikely comedy mash-ups to reach their bubbling live climax.

As ever, we can expect unmissable moments delivered by an almost obscenely starry line-up. Presenters include Michael McIntyre, Rob Brydon, John Bishop, Davina McCall, Jonathan Ross and (careful, now...) Russell Brand. Ricky Gervais will bring David Brent out of retirement. There are mini-eps of Call the Midwife and Fresh Meat, a cook-off between Jack Whitehall and Micky Flanagan, and of course a new novelty pop promo from Peter Kay.

The trick for viewers is to flash the cash early. Text the donation line or get out the credit card at an early stage, then relax as the night rolls by. You'll never make it through all those heartbreaking appeal films if you don't know your money's on its way.

Jack Whitehall: Comic Relief is an institution

You get so many amazing guest stars turning up, willing to make a bit of a fool of themselves for good causes...

Jack Whitehall for debut arena tour in 2014

Jack Whitehall is to embark upon his first ever UK solo arena tour in 2014.

Glamping is an unlikely TV theme tonight, cast in two very different roles. Over on Great Night Out, it's a positive holiday option, but here in Frank Skinner's domain, it's being proposed for disposal in Room 101 by actor/comedian Jack Whitehall. It's what bugs him most about the great outdoors, while for The One Show's Alex Jones, it's seagulls. But the controversial choice for presenter Clive Anderson is Bambi's extended family - until meeting special guest Arthur changes his mind.

If Frank Skinner's ad libs are the real thing and not carefully pre-arranged, then they're little comedy gems.

There's a moment tonight when Clive Anderson has proposed consigning British deer, or a large proportion of them, to Room 101 and in the process he points out that there are three million deer in Britain now. To which Jack Whitehall quips, "All they need is a leader!" It's a nice idea - of the deer rising up as one in a horned rebellion. Then Skinner chimes in: "Maybe the Dalai Lama?" It's quick, silly and typical of his ability to juice up the joke quota.

Not that he needs to much this week: Anderson, Whitehall and Alex Jones make a great panel. It's the sparkiest episode yet.

Jack Whitehall in talks to play his own father

Jack Whitehall won't need to research one future role. Bizarre's Comedian of the Year wants to play his agent dad Michael - who represented the likes of Colin Firth and Richard E. Grant - in a TV version of his book Shark Infested Waters.

James Corden & Jack Whitehall shoot at NBA London Live

On Thursday night James Corden and Jack Whitehall teamed up to shoot some hoops during the NBA London Live match at the O2 Arena in North Greenwich.

Charlie Brooker on the Daily Mail getting offended

This is fusty, old-school outrage, spluttered in your mind's eye by a swivel-eyed ex-colonel with dangerously high blood pressure. But because it flopped, it's actually sort of poignant, like watching an old man ineffectually waving his fist as they concrete the duckpond and put up a Nando's.

Reviewing this programme's a bit of a problem because it's been in the newspapers all week, so it's hard to try and think about something new.

For those who might have been living in a cave since the year began, on this year's edition of the two-hour long panel game hosted by Jimmy Carr (cue jokes about him tax dodging), one team, consisting of Jack Whitehall and James Corden, supposedly got into trouble after drinking some wine on the set, getting tipsy, writing a random phone number on the screen which lead to people phoning some random member of the public, and making some rude jokes about the Queen which I'm not going to repeat. If you want to know what they are, watch the programme on 4oD and see it in context.

Concerning the phone number, it should be obvious that if you write just about any sequence of numbers down it will be someone's actual phone number and some idiots will ring it up. That was a bit stupid, and Channel 4 could have made an effort to do something about it. You know, like blur it out.

To be honest, though, I've no objection to the jokes about the Queen. Everyone knows that the Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells and Daily Mail brigades would get up on their high horses because, frankly, they enjoy draining the passion out of anything that isn't a repeat of Last of the Summer Wine - while at the same time complaining that they're too many repeats on TV. Since the "outrage" that the Mail has failed to stir up in the same way as it did with "Sachsgate", people have been fighting back in their own way, generally annoying the rag.

But I suppose the main reason why I personally didn't mind the jokes about the Queen is that over the past few years I've become sick of all the royal events on the box. First there was William and Kate getting married, then the Diamond Jubilee, now there's going to be a baby, and you just know the TV channels are going to give months and months of tedious analysis about the whole thing.

I've just got this nightmare vision in my head of Nicholas Witchell and his camera-crew trying to bribe a midwife so that they could get the BBC live exclusive access to the birth from the Duchess of Cambridge's private maternity unit, in which he will try to talk for about 18 hours straight with experts, while a camera will film Kate's most private parts constantly as they wait for the baby's head to come out the royal CENSORED.

Other than that however, The Big Fat Quiz of the Year was mostly enjoyable, except for some tedious reality TV guests - and the lacklustre Jonathan Ross. Shame Whitehall and Corden didn't try to get him drunk.