John Bishop threatened to "knock out" Dave Johns for "taking the piss"
John Bishop has revealed that he once threatened to punch Dave Johns for belittling him on stage.
The Liverpudlian had been performing stand-up for around 18 months in early 2002 and was experiencing his first stage death, on a Thursday night at the Hyena comedy club in Newcastle.
Johns, founder of the late venue and future star of I, Daniel Blake, was compering, with Bishop the opening act for Addy van der Borgh.
And "I'll tell you how well it went," he explained to fellow comics Adam Rowe and Dan Nightingale on their Have A Word podcast. "The audience just started talking amongst themselves.
"No-one heckled ... but I remember this moment standing on stage ... I went 'alright then, ask me a question or shout something out!'
"And everyone went 'no'."
Nightingale, who was present at the gig as the sound technician, then took up the story, suggesting that he remembered it "not being great". But that Bishop had "died with honour ... you didn't panic or whatever.
"And then Dave Johns went on after you and they clapped him back on.
"And he went: 'Don't worry, Dave's here, I'm like an emergency comedian.
"'It says break here in case of shit first act.'
"All of us at the back, the staff, were like 'ohhhhh!'" Nightingale winced.
Nightingale and Rowe then debated a compere's priority in this situation, whether to acknowledge and react to the atmosphere in the room and try to rebuild the energy. Or to "not cunt off" the opener.
"Dave Johns went 'don't blame me, I don't book the acts'," Bishop resumed. And he told Nightingale: "I proper died, you're being generous".
In the interval, he had remonstrated with Johns.
"What the fuck was that? You didn't have to do that.
"And he went 'mate, I think this gig's too big for you.'"
So he offered to hand Johns his wages for the weekend if he died again on Friday or Saturday.
But he warned: "If you take the piss out of me like that again, I'll fucking knock you out!"
Still working as a pharmaceutical sales director at the time, Bishop spent the following day in a Newcastle hospital ward talking about transplants. But he was internally simmering that that "bald Geordie took the piss out of me!"
Thankfully, the following two nights at the Hyena went "fine". And he explained that Johns had then been "dead generous", telling the Friday night crowd: "You should have been here last night, he died. But he was great tonight!"
And the pair, who share a distinction of having both starred in Ken Loach films, with Bishop appearing in 2010's Route Irish, long ago buried the hatchet.
"Let's be honest," Bishop concluded, "we've all had to follow a shocker."
Currently touring his Back At It show, Bishop today announced extra dates for his 25 UK arena tour, marking 25 years since his first stand-up gig, with all tickets priced £25.