Fearne Cotton

Who watches this? Why would anyone appear on it? Has Leigh Francis ever been funny, ever? Do you think Holly Willoughby despises Fearne Cotton as much as everyone else with half a brain? Questions, questions. No need to answer them. We don't care.

Comedy stars saddle up for charity ride

Comics David Walliams, Miranda Hart, Russell Howard, Jimmy Carr and Patrick Kielty, plus presenters Fearne Cotton and Davina McCall are to cycle the length of Britain in a bid to raise £1m for Sport Relief.

"This ancient country, 38 times the size of Wales, is in desperate need." So begins BBC correspondent Harry Chambers' piece to camera from a central African republic at the start of this spoof on foreign news reporting. "It wouldn't take much to make a difference here," he adds, "A visit by Angelina Jolie or Fearne Cotton... perhaps even a simple, one-off drama by Richard Curtis." It's one of the better jokes in what turns out to be a rambling farce set under African skies - imagine Drop the Dead Donkey crossed with Evelyn Waugh's Scoop. Martin Jarvis is enjoyable as a John Simpson-style foreign editor who flies in to take over any story when it gets big enough, treading on the toes of local stringers like Harry. But Jarvis and the rest of the cast have to fight with a script that wobbles alarmingly. A running joke about a plump female reporter's troubled bowels is about as unfunny as comedy gets. There's a great satire to be made deconstructing the foibles of the news machine. Sadly, this isn't it.

This could be Drop The Dead Donkey on location as we fly out with the BBC's foreign news pack to report on the strife-ridden African country of Karibu. "It wouldn't take much to make a difference here," junior reporter Harry Chambers (Bruce Mackinnon) explains. "A visit by Angelina Jolie or Fearne Cotton. Perhaps even a one-off drama by Richard Curtis."

A commissioning editor would green-light the script on the strength of that line alone. As the BBC's big guns fly to Karibu to steal Harry's thunder, the laughs come as much from the characters as the situation - like the mumsy World Service lady who compares Africa's roads with pot-holes in Putney.

But the best gags come from TV Centre back in London where producer Nigel (Mackenzie Crook) is busy making Daleks out of his used coffee cups.

Keith Lemon (alter-ego of Bo' Selecta comedian Leigh Francis) returned for a second series of Celebrity Juice; basically a tabloid-y, low-rent version of Shooting Stars, with a fraction of the laughs and zero inspiration. It's a panel show that relies on Lemon's abilities to keep the whole thing on-track, so inevitably fails because the Lemon character is so tedious. Strangely, Francis' retired creation, neck-braced celebrity stalker Avid Merion, would actually be a better fit for Juice's showbiz theme!

Any half-amusing moments are almost accidental, and the most enjoyable thing about the show is trying to guess how the celebs have been persuaded to appear: Fearne Cotton (shameless, no quality control), Sara Cox (as a favour to fellow Radio 1 presenter Cotton?), Kevin Bishop (new sitcom to plug that airs immediately after), Coolio (exploiting his renewed fame after Celebrity Big Brother), Verne Troyer (likewise), Rufus Hound (an ambition to appear on every digital channel's tripe?), guest-star Bianca Gascoigne (need I say more?) and Holly Willoughby (oh yes, her husband's a producer on the show.) Not so much juice, just dregs from a fruit squeezed dry by Vic n' Bob 10 years ago.

Leigh Francis' Keith Lemon gets another outing - this time as the host of a celebrity-based quiz show, with team captains Fearne Cotton and Holly Willoughby.

The first two series of Bo Selecta were funny, but this shambolic attempt at emulating Shooting Stars was absolute garbage. We sat stony-faced throughout - the Keith Lemon character is just not funny. Time for a new act, Leigh.

It was painful to see so many of the panel visibly looking like they wished they could have been anywhere else.

Leigh Francis's alter ego Keith Lemon hosts this new tabloid-focused quiz show based on the nation's obsession with all things celebrity - a kind of Have I Got News for You for the Heat generation. Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton are the team captains - so expect plenty of leching from our host.

Destined to make Mock the Week seem postively highbrow, this quiz show is about celebrity, erm, news. It's hosted by Keith Lemon (one of funnyman Leigh Francis's alter egos), with Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton as team captains. Expect plenty of froth.

The worst aspect of credit crunches, killer hurricanes and human rights abuses, is how they shunt all the important news, such as stories about which hotel Peaches Geldof hasn't overdosed in, to the back of the papers. So, to test our knowledge of showbiz facts, such as which hotel Peaches Geldof hasn't overdosed in, the bloke who used to be Avid Merrion in Bo' Selecta has roped in Fearne Cotton and Holly Willoughby for this very silly panel quiz.