Dylan Jones (I)
Press clippings
Trinny and Susannah aren't in the same class as Nigella, more superannuated teenagers veering between strop and sulk than racehorse. But they're out of the same stable: they don't need second names; they're posh, of a certain age (46 and 48 respectively) and made their names on TV. They've also turned themselves into brands, and "do" humour, brilliantly. Readers might remember their fashion column in The Daily Telegraph's Weekend section, which, love it or loathe it, was a must-read for years. They took off into the fashionista stratosphere immediately afterwards with their TV series What Not to Wear, bullying members of the public into makeovers.
From Boom to Bust took up the story from there. It was a glorious spoof fly-on-the-wall documentary following the supposed collapse of their career. During this exquisitely funny offering, where small-screen setback was treated with the high seriousness of a Greek tragedy, every element of their career was mercilessly parodied.
We saw Trinny in a bath, covered in a hideous white facemask complacently discussing her diary. Cut to a taxi, where she was moving her colonic irrigation appointment so it would come after her "arse-slapping" slot with her masseuse (Think about it").
Cut to lunch with their agent, who told them not only had they failed to win a huge contract, but he was dumping them, too. Media names and celebrities appeared, as themselves, to mourn their decline: Dylan Jones (GQ editor), Lulu, David Furnish, DJ Neil Fox...
It got much worse, and much funnier. On to a golf and tennis trade show to promote their "magic knickers". "Susannah has a bit of a wobbly tummy," Trinny told the bystanders who had wandered up to their stall, hoiking up Susannah's dress to show how the magic knickers (deeply unflattering, flesh-coloured efforts) worked. Which is exactly the type of indignity they put their stooges through in their various makeover shows.
Will they, won't they climb back into the media spotlight? Perhaps they should get a makeover by Nigella. Now there's a thought.
Kylie O'Brien, The Telegraph, 1st October 2010