David Attenborough

Stephen Fry to take on Sir David Attenborough as new ITV nature show host

The brain box will be exploring the world and all the wild and wonderful aspects of nature in a new six part ITV documentary series titled A Year On Planet Earth.

Stephen Fry & Joanna Lumley in top 10 voices poll

In a poll commissioned by Virgin Media, Stephen Fry came second when the public were asked what was the nation's favourite voice, while Joanna Lumley came third. David Attenborough came first.

Following famously fatuous blockbuster Batman v Superman, the more tantalising proposition of Batman versus Attenborough becomes semi-reality as Ben Affleck hits the Norton sofa to promote action thriller The Accountant, while David Attenborough arrives to discuss keenly anticipated natural history sequel Planet Earth 2. Elsewhere, Claire Foy and Matt Smith reveal the truth behind playing the Queen and Prince Philip.

The BBC has a problem. It's in danger of losing the Wimbledon rights to a rival broadcaster. On top of that it's considered that the tournament is too staid, white and elitist.

Enter PR extraordinaire Siobhan Sharpe, who is tasked with the job of making Wimbledon cool and 'ethnically, not so much white'.

It was just one of the corporation's dilemmas witnessed in W1A (BBC Two), which returned for a new series with an hour-long special. It's the mock-umentary that mercilessly lampoons the Beeb in all its politically correct, management-speak glory.

Just like most of the employees Siobhan (played by the brilliant Jessica Hynes) communicates in meaningless, corporate parlance. 'Yah. Totally. Epic,' is her favourite soundbite. Her solution to the Wimbledon issue was to 'mash it up and pimp it' by calling it Win-bledon, getting people like Alan Sugar and David Attenborough to act as umpires while members of the crowd chant and wave giant foam fingers.

Meanwhile hapless Entertainment Format Executive David Wilkes is desperate to come up with a new family-viewing show following the spectacular failure of Britain's Top Village.

His suggestion is Heavy Petting, a reality show were celebrities swap pets. Alternatively there's Britain's Top Family, where a family of toffs and a family of chavs fight it out to decide who is better.

'That's what ITV is for,' snapped Anna Rampton, the steely, charmless Head of Output. She had a point. I bet I wasn't the only person imagining ITV executives watching last night, pen and paper in hand, furiously scribbling notes.

Jeremy Clarkson's endless gaffes must be manna from heaven for writer and director John Morton. Last night Head of Values Ian Fletcher (Hugh Bonneville) was investigating the number of times Clarkson (whose name was bleeped out) said the word 't*****' following viewer's complaints.

Posh, clueless intern Will had to sit through four years' worth of Top Gear counting the number of times the word was uttered -- and, naturally, he messed that up as well.

Amid all that, the BBC was preparing for a visit from Prince Charles to congratulate them on becoming the first 'zero energy broadcaster'.

The BBC's bungling Head of Security, who bragged about his 'foolproof zonal lock-down system', was as competent as Mr Bean, while producer Lucy Freeman was chosen to greet HRH for no other reason than the fact she was non-white.

Last night's opener was witty, wordy and frantic with David Tennant's voiceover hitting the mark perfectly. At times it felt like too much was being crammed in, leaving the viewer almost breathless by the end.

You have to credit the BBC for allowing its operation to be ripped apart so savagely. Everybody had a daft title, nobody knew what they were doing and all were too afraid to do their job for fear of upsetting somebody else.

If the bumbling buffoons of W1A are even halfway accurate then it's little wonder all the political parties are promising to either reduce or freeze the licence fee!

Wimbledon 'too white'... in W1A world

Heard the latest? The BBC's Wimbledon coverage is 'too white' and the broadcaster's exclusive rights to the tournament are at risk. Luckily, the BBC has a rescue plan. It's fixed on French tennis star Jo-Wilfried Tsonga as its Wimbledon saviour and is considering pepping up programming with foam fingers in the stands, David Attenborough in the umpire's chair and Graham Norton in the players' box. But hold your fury, tennis fans; this is all happening in the parallel world of W1A - BBC Two's sitcom set in the Corporation's London headquarters that will begin its second series next week.

Terry Mynott interview

Terry Mynott on Assassins Creed Unity celebrity co-op, David Attenborough and filling in for Dumbledor.

Michael Palin to join Tweet of the Day team

Michael Palin will join Sir David Attenborough hosting the BBC Radio 4 series Tweet of the Day when it returns with a new series in September. World Tweet of the Day takes the cult show, which originally focused on British birdsong, beyond the UK.

Don't tell Wossy (or Graham Norton, for that matter), but chat shows make the perfect accompaniment to late-night wrapping. If only this show aired before Christmas Day, then you could have watched the guests you like, and concentrated on the tricky shapes during the ones you don't.

Tonight's guests are John Bishop, whose autobiography you might have been wrapping, Jamie Oliver, whose gravy you might currently be digesting, and Ray Winstone, whose appearance in Sky's family drama Moonfleet you may squint at tonight, wondering why he's not swearing while hitting someone in the face.

Sir David Attenborough completes the Christmas line-up, and hopefully he'll be asked about his most offbeat hit, Tweet of the Day, which over Christmas will briefly flood Radio 4's Today Programme with glorious birdsong.

New Channel 4 comedy The Mimic appears to have been built around the ability of its lead actor, Terry Mynott, to do impressions and there are moments when you wonder whether he provides a solid enough foundation. His Terry Wogan was very wobbly and his David Attenborough was a weird hybrid of Alan Bennett and Ian McKellen. Other impressions are so left-field they have to be visually signposted or cued up by a line of dialogue to make sure we get them.

But there was a promising little sequence as Martin (Mynott's character) sat slumped in front of his television and Morgan Freeman and James Earl Jones fought it out over who was best at adding gravitas to a natural-history programme. It's a comedy of underachievement essentially, complete with marimba noodling on the soundtrack to signal the underlying pathos, but it has some lovely downbeat moments and funny silences where some comedies might strive (unsuccessfully) for a big guffaw. Look out for Jo Hartley as Martin's friend Jean too. She's very good, so quietly you might miss it.

Russell Brand is so unpredictable, he's talk-show Semtex. Probably more famous for who he marries/divorces/dates than his movie career, he's on Ross's sofa tonight, with comedian and marathon man Eddie Izzard, who's starting a stand-up tour later this year, national treasure Sir David Attenborough, movie hulk Dolph Lundgren and, providing the music, those common people, Pulp.