Charlie Brooker

Rent-a-rants are received loud and clear

There's so much about the world that's rubbish, so many ways in which our species has made a complete mess of things, that misanthropy feels like a rational response to modern life.

A clear leader in the field is Charlie Brooker, who has distinguished himself in print and on television with his scabrous crescendos of disgust and contempt. It clears the passages to witness a heartfelt tirade against those deserving of our condemnation, and Brooker reliably hands out metaphorical kickings where they are most needed.

Charlie Brooker sets out to expose, wallow in, and reward failure. Panellists David Mitchell, Victoria Coren and Rufus Hound are invited to share their wretched holiday experiences and write the opening line for a sci-fi novel, among other things. Let us hope that no one from BBC3 was listening to their pitches for the worst reality show they can imagine: Mitchell's spin on Brewster's Millions, in which contestants must deliberately lose all their friends, sounds like it's got legs.

Radio Review: So Wrong It's Right

Charlie Brooker's show has been put in Radio 4's edgiest (11pm) slot, but it's savage misanthropy makes you do a double-take at the radio.

Never a shrinking violet when it comes to offering up a strong opinion, Charlie Brooker is the perfect host for a series that celebrates abject failure. That could be reality television, going on holiday or the human race in general. Brooker's bite and bark are just as vicious as one another, so it's fortunate that he has three comedic guests to lessen the full-on savagery.

Charlie Brooker: Political leaks on primetime

I got through my first weeny link without a hitch. But moments before doing my second link, much later in the night, something completely unexpected happened. I did a piss.

It began with an unprecedented third-party surge, with Channel 4 opening its campaign for the couch-potato vote 55 minutes before the two established parties - BBC and ITV - even got into the game. There would be, the announcer promised, "very strong language and adult humour", not something that had ever been delivered by the traditional coverage, and it was rapidly clear that the Alternative Election Night really did have fresh policies to offer.

They had Lauren Laverne and Charlie Brooker and David Mitchell and they had an anchor, Jimmy Carr, with a novel approach to clarification: take their beginner's guide to proportional representation, for example. "The easiest way to explain it," said the comedian drily, "is to someone who's interested and already understands it".

With the satire muzzled by broadcasting restrictions until polls closed, they filled the time with a special edition of Come Dine With Me - three politicians and a pundit competing in a hellish unpopularity contest. Derek Hatton cooked scallops with asparagus for Edwina Currie, Brian Paddick and Rod Liddle and the viewers watched aghast.

"They might as well have called that If You Only Had One Bullet", said Carr, not the last time in which he deployed a candour which would have been welcome on other channels. I'm not sure that anybody with a choice in the matter would have turned over at 9.55pm - for the fiesta of vacuity which fills the gap until the first significant result arrives.

As this week's QI repeat proved, David Mitchell is obviously one of the smartest and funniest men on TV at the moment, and is probably the inheritor of Stephen Fry's mantel. So what the hell was he doing on this? Charlie Brooker was great, of course, as was Mitchell, but Jimmy Carr filled time by making jokes about Gordon Brown's eye and Lauren Laverne was just using up valuable oxygen the whole time. Oh dear.

For those who are interested in the election but can't face endless analysis and Jeremy Vine's Swingometer, here's some light relief: live satire from Jimmy Carr, David Mitchell and Charlie Brooker, who will be riffing off events as they unfold over four hours, with Lauren Laverne adding sass.

The quartet will be joined by a bookmaker, while there will be some pre-recorded segments that include a Come Dine With Me election special featuring Edwina Currie. Wonder if eggs are on the menu?

If the excitement and drama proves too much, C4's Alternative Election Night (from 9pm to 1am) offers a more entertaining, less reverential take on events. It is hosted by David Mitchell, Jimmy Carr and Lauren Laverne, with contributions from Charlie Brooker. Highlights include election specials of You Have Been Watching and Come Dine With Me.

We, as you should, will be beginning election night with C4. Their Alternative Election Night is a kicking-off point, where you can watch Jimmy Carr deliver uncomfortable jokes about how ugly politicians are, Charlie Brooker deliver anger you can tell he no longer feels and Lauren Laverne make some vowels last an instant too long. The Election Special Come Dine With Me is infuriating and not just because of Brian Paddick's shirts and Rod Liddle's Julie Burchill-style provocateering. Comes to something when Edwina Currie is clearly the least annoying person on screen. Armando Iannucci is on at 10.