Bruce Willis

What is it about pork pies that make them so darn tempting? Vic and Bob are powerless to resist the siren song of processed pig encased in jelly and pastry when neighbour Julie entrusts them with the care of a special pork pie she's saving for the imminent visit of Bruce Willis - so they set about attempting to procure a replacement. As plots go, it's daft even by Reeves and Mortimer standards. But there are a fair few crackling gags.

Radio Times review

"I took the liberty of warming up your toupee," Vic tells Bob. Can you imagine that line in any other sitcom? Come to think of it, has there ever been a mainstream series (I'm discounting This Is Jinsy) where the lead character wears a hairpiece that is then subjected to mishaps and indignities?

In that respect House of Fools breaks new ground, and its plots aren't exactly boilerplate either: tonight's revolves around a large pork pie that next-door neighbour Julie has baked to impress a visiting Bruce Willis. When she leaves it for our heroes to look after it fares badly, of course, leading to a robbing-the-pie-factory scene, old-fashioned fart gags and the improbable line, delivered by Matt Berry as Beef: "Don't kill me! I'm ELO's archivist!"

Julie goes away on holiday to Mexico (or Exeter - she isn't sure), leaving Vic, Bob, Beef and Bosh to look after a sizeable luxury pork pie that she's got in specially for Bruce Willis, who is swinging by her flat to audition for the lead role in the film of her latest erotic novel. Things quickly go awry, with the chaps unable to resist the pie's meaty charms. The only hope for replacing it is to break into the shop of an infamous and psychopathic pie-maker who Bosh once shared a prison cell with. Naturally, much idiocy ensues.

Norton has secured another cast-iron Hollywood line-up as Richard Gere and John Malkovich grace the red sofa, with young actress Saoirse Ronan as the rose between two thorns.

Gere is probably best known now more as a Buddhist and a campaigner for a free Tibet than for his films, while Malkovich is still busy making movies, including the zombie comedy Warm Bodies, and Red 2 with Helen Mirren and Bruce Willis as a bunch of retired assassins returning for another dangerous job. Taylor Swift sings live in the studio.

Richard Gere makes his debut on Graham Norton's chat show tonight to plug his new film, Arbitrage. He'll share the sofa with John Malkovich, who stars in Red 2 with Helen Mirren and Bruce Willis, and Atonement actress Saoirse Ronan, with country star Taylor Swift providing the music. The absence of a comedian may mean Norton putting in extra legwork to keep the atmosphere light, but as often happens on this show, Hollywood A-listers prove surprisingly funny given half a chance.

Well, it's all very well having these brilliant detectives, like Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot and the CSI boffins, all going round smugly knowing everything and solving stuff. Obviously, if you were actually to be the victim of a crime, that's who you'd want investigating, or at the very least diligent, efficient plodders like the police in Taggart. But what about the rest of them, the rubbish cops who don't always get their man and don't have genius-level insights merely by looking at a few stray hairs or a misplaced receipt - aren't they being a bit discriminated against by TV?

Well, that gap is somewhat filled this week with a new comedy drama, Vexed, which boasts a crime-solving duo who won't bamboozle anyone with the cleverness of their deductions. A sort of cross between Moonlighting - the classic 1980s fantasy with Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd - and Jasper Carrot's spoof The Detectives, Vexed is a rather entertaining twist on the over-done crime genre.

It stars Toby Stephens and Lucy Punch - no, you'll recognise her, she's been in heaps of low-key British programmes including the more traditional detecting of Poirot and Midsomer Murders, but this is her biggest role so far as Lucy. But it's Stephens who is the revelation, taking a break from playing posh cads to revel in the role of Jack, who thinks he is a smooth charmer and great cop... when in fact, he's so useless he can't remember the names of anyone involved in the investigation (at one point he wonders if the victim was 'Andrew Ridgely' only to be informed that he's thinking of Wham!) and is prone to falling off his chair in the middle of interrogations.

Stephens' performance is great fun and a refreshing change from know-it-all detectives; Jack knows nothing, but is convinced that his instincts are right. "We're police officers," he drawls, "the law doesn't apply to us." Punch's role is to keep him in line and restrain her partner's more outrageous antics but, thankfully, she does get to be funny too.

The plot of this first episode is appropriately silly - about murders linked to a supermarket loyalty card scheme database, which distracts Lucy and Jack into using the info on it to sneak on what her ex and his potential partners are buying. And the comedy elements work better than the drama: it's hard to get really concerned about a dangerous situation when you know that there are not going to be any serious ramifications. So I'm not sure how long the series can sustain its freshness but it's a nice alternative for now.