Bianca Gascoigne

Keith Lemon (alter-ego of Bo' Selecta comedian Leigh Francis) returned for a second series of Celebrity Juice; basically a tabloid-y, low-rent version of Shooting Stars, with a fraction of the laughs and zero inspiration. It's a panel show that relies on Lemon's abilities to keep the whole thing on-track, so inevitably fails because the Lemon character is so tedious. Strangely, Francis' retired creation, neck-braced celebrity stalker Avid Merion, would actually be a better fit for Juice's showbiz theme!

Any half-amusing moments are almost accidental, and the most enjoyable thing about the show is trying to guess how the celebs have been persuaded to appear: Fearne Cotton (shameless, no quality control), Sara Cox (as a favour to fellow Radio 1 presenter Cotton?), Kevin Bishop (new sitcom to plug that airs immediately after), Coolio (exploiting his renewed fame after Celebrity Big Brother), Verne Troyer (likewise), Rufus Hound (an ambition to appear on every digital channel's tripe?), guest-star Bianca Gascoigne (need I say more?) and Holly Willoughby (oh yes, her husband's a producer on the show.) Not so much juice, just dregs from a fruit squeezed dry by Vic n' Bob 10 years ago.