Ben Mullins
Video clips
Offworld Cookery - Fine Dining
Harumph, bloody hell and damn it, today the three limp lords offer a fine dining experience for your amusement. There'll be a monkfish starter, lobster main and lemon madeleine dessert so why not look at this for 10 minutes and then do something else?
Offworld Cookery - Explorers
Today the men fastidiously recreate the doomed Antarctic expedition of Captain Scott, cooking up a starter of Powdered Panache, a main of Horse Steak, and a dessert of Kendal Mint Cake. Prepare yourselves for failure.
Offworld Cookery - Mel Gibson
Believe it or not this episode is themed around absolute madman Mel Gibson. Of course there's no reason not to believe it, unless you're some kind of glum cunt, but with a starter of Treacle Weapon, a main of Haggis Stuffed Duck and a dessert of Rum Rabbits what's there to be glum about? Not a fucking thing.
Offworld Cookery - Law And Order
Once again the average woodland bastards barely make an effort cooking for your enjoyment. Today under the flimsy guise of Law And Order they just about manage the timeless prison starter of porridge, a main of pork soufflé, and every prisoners favourite chocolate brownies. Watch it if you want to. Or jerk off instead, whichever.
Offworld Cookery - Halloween
Woooo, spooky Halloween food disasters, it's time for another terrible Offworld Cookery. This week the three malevolent losers magic up a starter of O.J. Simpsons gingerbread glove, a delicious witch's stew, and some kind of awful rum-based dessert. Woooo.
Offworld Cookery - Hospital Food
Today the trio of food pubes fuck around with Hospital Food in the rain. Paul attempts the classic get-well-soon dish Chicken Soup, Chico pushes out a uniquely medical take on a Steak & Kidney pie, and Alessandro makes another mistake for dessert. What a triumph.