British Comedy Guide

Online

Dave does Eurovision - We Also Wrote A Song

Jazz Emu and Rachel Parris lead channel Dave's officially unofficial tribute to The Eurovision Song Contest and the community that makes it the biggest music competition in the world. "Because if Australia can enter Eurovision, why can't we?"

Lyrics

Eurovision 2023
That's right
We're Jumping On The Bandwagon
(We Also Wrote A Song)

If Australia can take to the stage at Eurovision
Does that mean anyone's welcome too?
Cause at Dave we are tired of facing our televisions
We wanna be a part of the Euro Crew

So we've signed the mandates, we've hired the spandex
Spectacular pyro is poised
Our key changes are primed, and our air grabs are vibing
So let's hope we get some points

Because we have spent
over 95 percent
Of Dave's annual budget
On legally becoming a nation!

So we can enter Eurovision.
We've spent, er, several million
On legal fees, and smoke machines
And pantsuits made of mirrors

We wanna winning entry
So we're putting in plenty
Of pan-European hooks
Which are non-English speaking friendly like
Zayayada, zayayada, oh

We wanna winning entry
So we're putting in every
Single musical genre that's won
Eurovision previously like:
Zayayada, zayayada, zayayada, wind machine

We've seen other countries use traditional national music
To show their rich cultural heritage
So we took all the profits from our other shows and used it
To invent Dave's national instrument

We don't know which country's going to give us the points when we climb up on that stage

So we're hedging our bets by including a phrase in every single EU language

Nous sommes désespérés (we are desperate! french)
Ja me tahame seda võita! (and we want to win it! - estonian)
lo haremos (spanish) parzialmente in fiamme (with our costumes partially on fire!)

Cast
Archie Henderson (as Jazz Emu) Self
Rachel Parris Self
Abi Clarke Self
Darren Harriott Self
Helen Bauer Self
Josh Jones Self
Production team
Paul Quinn Director
Shannon Newton Producer
Genevieve Sligcher Producer
Paul Quinn Editor
Richard Ward Production Designer
Paula West Production Designer
Richard Bell Director of Photography
Patrick Whelan Costume Designer
Victoria Barnes Make-up Designer
Claire Walker Make-up Designer
Paul McCann 1st Assistant Director

Share this page