Priya Hall

Written by: Si Hawkins
Published: Tuesday 20th April 2021

One random comedian, eight random questions; it's the ultimate test of funny person and fate. This week we're off to Cardiff and Priya Hall, which also sounds like the grand stately home she'll eventually occupy if the career keeps going well. Obviously stand-up is a bit shaky right now, so Hall is dabbling with the judiciary, too.

"Here To Judge is a podcast in which three comedians who have no right to be judging anyone take it upon themselves to judge strangers on the internet," she explains. "We find these people on Reddit and Mumsnet, so you know the vast majority of the posts we're judging are harrowing."

Indeed. Leila Navabi and Robin Morgan are Hall's fellow bigwigs. Any standout rulings come to mind?

"My favourite moment on the podcast so far has to be the episode titled The Navabi Scale, where one of my co-hosts, Leila Navabi, spends 20 minutes taking us through her theory on why any animal larger than a human or smaller than a rabbit is not worthy of love. It sounds ridiculous but I have to say she's very convincing and now I'm 100% on board."

We all need guidelines. So how has this restrictive 12 months been for Hall, generally?

"This year has been weird, and it feels like time has stood still BUT on the other hand I did manage to do a full re-watch of Malcolm In The Middle (it's held up very well) and doing Here To Judge with Robin and Leila every week has kept me sane."

Podcasts rule. Priya Hall, your Random 8 await.

Who is/was your most interesting relative?

I do stand-up about my nan because she's a real renegade. She's an 85-year-old socialist from the Valleys and she is just full of righteous anger that hasn't dulled to this day. She's spent her whole life unionising people and protesting over anything and everything. She's 85 and pro-legalisation of drugs because she'd "really like to try speed again". Make of that what you will.

What's the greatest invention, ever?

I think robot vacuum cleaners are the pinnacle of human achievement. How do they understand what stairs are? Are the little spins and flourishes they do functional or pure showmanship? Why are dogs so afraid of them?

It's worth noting I don't have a robot vacuum cleaner so everything I know about them has come from seeing them on TV. But I'm very impressed nevertheless.

Is there a book, film or show that changed your life?

My mum let my brother and me watch Eddie Murphy's Raw and Delirious when I was 11 and we spent about a year quoting jokes from them to anyone who would listen. I think we can all agree that was bad parenting from my mum, but it probably kicked off my love of stand-up.

Which historical figure should get more attention?

The Empress Dowager Cixi was a woman who went from concubine to ruler of China during the late Qing Dynasty. She's either a feminist icon or ruthless despot, depending on who you ask. Either way her Wikipedia page is a fun read.

What's the best thing you ever bought a ticket for?

There's a festival in Caerphilly (in the Valleys) called The Big Cheese. Caerphilly is very proud of its cheese. Basically, they fill a castle full of cheese, booze, and medieval weapons and its as fun as it sounds. When I used to go as a kid it was basically The Hunger Games with more underaged drinking.

Ever met a surprisingly great/disappointing celebrity?

This is niche, but once when I was a kid my school brought in characters from popular Welsh language books and TV show Sali Mali and the guy playing Jac Do (a man whose whole character arc was that he was too tall for everyday living) was so tall that I was sick with fear.

Which TV show would you love to have been in, and which part?

I would have loved to play Lois's mum in Malcolm In The Middle. Or the gaffer in Line Of Duty. I would not change a single thing about either character. I would have to learn how to do accents.

How do you feel about cats?

Love them. I have a cat that I rescued after he broke into my house and ate all of my bread. It's been six years and I still have to lock away my bread or otherwise he will eat it all. I have a drawing of him tattooed on my arm. He hates me but he loves sour cream and chive dip so will tolerate me for access to that sweet, sweet dip.

Here To Judge is available now from all good podcast emporiums, and via littlewander.co.uk