Poppy Hillstead

Written by: Si Hawkins
Published: Tuesday 8th November 2022

One random comedian, eight random questions; it's the ultimate test of funny person and fate.

This week we re-welcome one of our favourite former Random 8ers. It's Poppy Hillstead, who has just launched the new series of her podcast, plus an accompanying image of the host riding what she calls 'a Dick Dragon'. And who are we to argue?

That beast should pop up in this fourth run of Poppy Hillstead Has Entered The Chat, in which Poppy infiltrates chatrooms, then gets comic pals to help recreate the resulting kerfuffle. It's out on Wednesdays and the second episode drops tomorrow. Has it evolved along the way?

"Has it evolved? Maybe. I don't know. I definitely think I'm getting banned from more chatrooms in Series 4 then I have in previous ones," she admits.

"I feel like this series, sometimes I genuinely don't do anything wrong and I still get booted. If I'm kicked from a chatroom, I'll go through various stages of grief. Hot-faced rage, then a slight thrill, then rage again and then acceptance... and then just type in another username and go back in."

That's 2022 for you. And what else has been going on, this year?

"I took a year off from doing the podcast, 'cause all of those three series were done during lockdown; think I needed to go outside. So, I did a webseries called Poppy and it's over on my YouTube channel - go watch it - and I got a short film about magicians that I'm working on at the moment. You like that?"

Sounds enchanting. Poppy Hillstead, your Random 8 await.

Ever met a particularly great or awful famous person?

I used to work as an animator in this big office thing. One day the landlord of the place went missing for a bit. He finally turned up one day and had David Icke with him. Fair dos. He lived in the office for a bit. I accidentally used his toothbrush once, thought it was mine.

I braced myself for him saying loads of batshit stuff but he didn't really. Just recommended me a documentary on Princess Diana, said it might make me question if her 'death was an accident or not'. Too normal isn't it? I wanted to talk about aliens... so awful.

Which low-key law would you introduce?

There should be a ban on people fidgeting. Don't waggle your foot. Stop moving around. I'm trying to concentrate on my thoughts and people are faffing around in my peripheral vision. If I'm sat somewhere I'll just be still. If I need to move, I'll just move once and then continue to be still. It's not hard. Definitely something wrong with me isn't there?

Who do you do a decent impression of?

Lois from Family Guy. But I can only say 'Oh Peter!' I can't say anything else.

Which TV show would you love to have been in - and which part?

Do you remember the show Harry And The Hendersons about the American family living with a bigfoot called Harry? What if I was Harry? I won't wear any makeup or prosthetics, just nude wandering around their house. Same script.

What's your favourite phrase or expression?

If someone's being particularly contrary or edgy I'll sometimes call them a 'Matrix licker' behind their back. I came up with it myself. I think the angle is that they arse-lick the film The Matrix and think they're edgy. It's dated I know.

Do you have a good hangover cure?

I get pissed off two pints. Next day I'll feel great, I'll have a lot of energy. Think that's because I have an extra heartbeat; the hangover like speeds up the heart rate and for a bit I'm like Jason Statham in Crank, then the day after that I'll be horribly depressed.

What's the weirdest thing in your wardrobe?

You know the Britpop band Suede? I have a Suede t-shirt covered in blood. Don't know what's happened there.

Ever walked out of a film, before the end?

Think I walked out of Scooby Doo 2, that or I left and wasn't allowed back in. God, imagine that, chucked out of Scooby Doo 2.

Poppy Hilstead Has Entered The Chat is available now from providers including Apple Podcasts.