British Comedy Guide
Random 8

Lou Conran

Lou Conran. Copyright: Andy Hollingworth

One random comedian, eight random questions; it's the ultimate test of funny person and fate. This week we raise a glass to the corking Lou Conran, or the uncorking Lou Conran, rather: the popular comic has a tipple-tastic new venture.

"Spit or Swallow is the podcast I co-host with the brilliant Sally-Anne Hayward," says Lou. "We get our guest to chose a drinkiepoo, which we then buy and try over Zoom with the guest. And we get to decide if we like it or not; whether it's a spit or a swallow (I mean, it's basically always a swallow.)"

One swallow does not a summer make, as the old saying goes, but it certainly kills some time at the moment. So what are her favourite bits?

Lou Conran. Copyright: Andy Hollingworth

"We've had some amazing guests so far and we've been told many secrets which we've had to edit out, but that's what I love. Christopher Biggins had so many stories about his Hollywood chums it was like listening to a film script read. What a life he has had! We love doing it."

You can't beat a Biggins beginning, but there's also Sarah Millican, Nick Helm, Ayesha Hazarika... lovely bubbly.

Lou Conran, your Random 8 await.

Who was your childhood hero?

I was obsessed with Wonder Woman, I used to try and dress up as her when I could, and could often be seen with tennis balls in my Wonder Woman swimming costume to make me the woman I so desperately wanted to be.

What's the best thing you ever drank?

Um, now then, I think it was the sly Cinzano and Lemonade that I used to sneak when my parents were out when I was a teenager. My dad would draw a line on the bottle which I'd wipe off and re mark.

Who are you most envious of?

Everyone that lives in a country where there's no Covid.

Do you have a good hangover cure?

I love a bowl of beefy Super Noodles with chilli. But if I haven't got any then either a Bloody Mary, or a cold bottle of Coke.

Which British town should be abolished?

Stevenage. (Sorry to my family)

Spit or Swallow podcast. Image shows from L to R: Lou Conran, Sally-Anne Hayward

Is there a book or film that changed your life?

The BFG, Roald Dahl. The imagery and the idea that a giant could change your dreams was so magical to me (probably why I love tall men.) Oh no, actually Harry Potter... it got me reading again as an adult (probably why I love tall wizards).

What's the most regrettable thing you've ever bought?

Everything I've bought in lockdown whilst pissed. From a Ouija Board to a star-shaped rose gold handy handbag screwdriver tool, that was advertised as "pretty enough to hang on your Christmas tree," which I did. I hung a screwdriver on my tree. Why? Why did I do that...?

Which underrated talent deserves more attention?

Probably the podcast Spit or Swallow - it's like drinking with your best mates while revealing celebrity secrets. I mean, it's really good.


Spit or Swallow is available on iTunes and at your favourite podcast places.

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