Flo & Joan
Published: Tuesday 18th January 2022
One random comedian, eight random questions; it's the ultimate test of funny person and fate. This week it's a non-random duo; comedy's answer to Kim and Kelley Deal, or Jonny and Colin Greenwood, or two of Haim, but probably not Liam and Noel Gallagher because these two are still talking and, imminently, touring.
It is, of course, Nicola and Rosie Dempsey, aka the mighty Flo & Joan, who recently announced their biggest batch of UK shows yet, starting next month. So can we expect stadium-rock production values: dry ice, costume changes, groupies?
"Yep. We're talking flames. Smoke. Disco balls. Ice dancing. T-shirt cannons. Gunge tank. The cast of Moulin Rouge. And we've rented the car from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang to fly us over the audience every night in the finale."
And some brand new zeitgeist-pricking songs. So how is 2022 shaping up away from the live stage?
"Outside of touring, 2022 is shaping up like a piece of Playdoh left on a hot stove. The only things in our diary are a trip to see Abba Voyage and tickets for Randy Newman and I don't know if we should admit to one of those things but here we are."
And here we go. Flo & Joan, your Random 8 await.
Who was your favourite pop star/band, growing up?
Rosie: Spice Girls and Meatloaf. Spice Girls because I am a child of the 90s. And Meatloaf because he's so sexy.
Nicola: Steps because I am a child of the 90s. I saw their last tour (minus Faye. Sad) and they've still got it. And Bernadette Peters. Frankly I don't think that needs an explanation.
Ever gatecrashed anything interesting?
Nicola: No. I was the ninth wheel to see Titanic at the cinema and I was invited but it definitely felt like a gatecrash.
Rosie: I once found myself in Beyoncé's dressing room (she'd already left). And I fell through someone's tent at Benicassim.
Which unsung British town is surprisingly great?
N&R: We really loved Southport the last time we went. Found some good pubs, it's got a lovely beach and promenade, some beautiful arcades. We can't speak for the hotel room we booked that had blood on the wall and a wet floor, but besides that we love a good seaside town like Southport.
Who's the most interesting person you've ever met?
N&R: We met a woman once who's an expert on octopuses. It's hard to top that really, though a lot of people in green rooms believe they have.
What's the weirdest thing you've eaten?
Nicola: Probably some old thing in my fridge. A withered old asparagus spear dipped in Marmite or something. Crazy.
Rosie: I tried lamb testicles once when I worked as a butcher. Everyone else ate it so I thought I had to join in. I've since learned how to say 'no'.
Your most interesting injury?
Nicola: I got a freshly sharpened pencil stuck in the top of my foot on the day of Princess Diana's funeral. I was at my mate's house and had to go in her living room into a sea of sobbing adults and ask her mum to pull it out for me. I've still got a little lead mark as a reminder.
Rosie: I was standing on a bollard and fell backwards onto another bollard. Very Tom and Jerry.
What's the best (non-comedy) room you've ever been in?
Rosie: I always like the little rooms in castles that used to be their toilets. Like how did they use those tiny holes? Where does it go? And the tour guides love telling you about them as well.
Nicola: I was on Splash Mountain at Disneyworld and it was about midnight on a special late opening day, and the ride completely broke down right as we were on the incline to the drop. The two teenagers working there had to chaperone everyone out of their logs, over water and stuff, and walk us back through the ride to the emergency exit, so we got to see backstage of the Splash where they keep all the broken ride bits and old character heads. In the dark. At midnight. Haunting.
Who are you most envious of?
Rosie: Bette Midler. I wish I had that woman's confidence.
Nicola: Bette Midler. I'd love to have performed in a New York bathhouse with Barry Manilow in the seventies.
Flo & Joan bring their brand new show Sweet Release nationwide as part of a 60-date UK tour starting from 2nd February. For full dates and tickets, visit floandjoan.com
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