Dane Baptiste

Written by: Si Hawkins
Published: Tuesday 30th April 2019

One random comedian, eight random questions; it's the ultimate test of funny person and fate. This week's great Dane is Mr Baptiste, who is always well worth catching, and will soon perform at a big show we particularly recommend.

Cracking Comedy in Aid of Women and Children First is just that: a corking good line-up of comedians coming together to raise funds and awareness for the aforementioned cause. Women and Children First was founded in 2002 to help shape 'a world where all women, children and young people can survive and thrive', and to do that they help local communities to help themselves, here and abroad. So far they've reached over 12 million people, in 13 countries, and saved over 6,000 lives.

And to help them keep doing that is this benefit gig, on May 13 at London's Leicester Square Theatre. Hosting the night is New Yorker Abigoliah Schamaun, and sharing the bill with Baptiste are - deep breath - Josh Widdicombe, Kerry Godliman, John Robins, Jess Robinson, musical duo Flo & Joan, Laura Lexx, Sarah Keyworth, Bec Hill, and the sketch duo Giants. That's one giant bill, as the ant said to the duck, and all for a very reasonable 22 quid.

So what else is Dane up to over the next few months?

"Next few months hopefully will be as good as the last few," he says. "Not to brag, but I've now been to Africa and seen lions in real life and performed, so my bucket list is good for this year! However if you wanna catch me I'll be gigging up and down the country as usual, a live podcast recording at Latitude and then again with quotas full in June, I'll also be doing some gigs in the States and mainly trying to be a better person and comic and drink more water and use less plastic."

Good times. Dane Baptiste, your Random 8 await.

What's the best thing you ever bought a ticket for?

The plane to Edinburgh in 2014. I used to have to do some not particularly legal things to be able afford to travel in comedy, broke the bank, but ultimately worth it.

Which book should we all read?

Theories on Oligarchal Collectivism in the book 1984, to work out what's going on. Weapons of Mass Instruction by John Taylor Gatto, for how to stop it from happening to you and your family.

What should be Britain's new national anthem?

I don't know, anything but God Save the Queen; comes across as very fanatical. Also, Great Britain is a bit much. Other than that, I'm cool with any name.

Ever walked out of a film?

Twice. Once for 300 Spartans, a spoof nobody needed, and for a Twilight film. I'm not watching vampires walk around in the day. I just won't.

What's the best advice you ever received?

"If you can't laugh at yourself, the comedy thing is a waste of time" - Mister Cee

Your greatest sporting moment?

First dan Shotokan karate at 11 years old. My dad said he was proud, and that emotional display had us both uncomfortable for a week. Good times.

Which historical figure should get more attention?

Harriet Tubman and Nikola Tesla. She was a real-life Wonder Woman and he a real-life Rick Sanchez. The biopics would be amazing.

What's the greatest invention, ever?

Women. As homo sapiens it kind of all begins in the womb, so all of the successive creations since then start there. Makes you wonder why there's a dude at the end of that evolution pic...