Craig Campbell
Published: Tuesday 26th November 2024
One random comedian, eight random questions; it's the ultimate test of funny person and fate. This week we welcome a well-travelled road warrior, the grizzly Canadian who decamped to Devon and soon departs on a December tour of Scotland. It's Craig Campbell. And the show? Raging Gracelessly.
"The theme is reverse-ageing, health renewal and my steady climb back to vitality and strength," he explains, "through exercise, diet and extreme fasting protocols, the most instruMENTAL being three five-day dry fasts - no food, no water or liquid contact - in quick succession, to stave off multiplying complications of osteoarthritis."
Not good - but a rarely-travelled path for a show, at least. Campbell was more fast than fasting in the past (if also mildly furious), renowned for motorcycling his way around the country. Does he still head out on the highway, looking for adventure?
"No, unfortunately no bike, motor or otherwise, as the ability to and love of riding were a couple of the pleasures I had to give up as my symptoms intensified."
Snowboarding too, but hopefully stand-up still gets some juices flowing. Craig Campbell, your Random 8 await:
Who was your childhood hero (real or fictional)?
Lenny Skutnik, the 'Hero in the Water,' who, on 13th January 1982 saved the life of Priscilla Tirado following the crash of Air Florida Flight 90 into the frozen Potomac River, Washington D.C. (I only dream of being this selfless one day).
What's the greatest invention ever?
The bicycle and its enormous ratio of input energy to speed... conversely, however, I loved and very much miss riding technical off-road uphill; massive physical challenge to minimal fall-risk ratio. I hope one day soon to be recovered enough to resume riding, it was where the severity of my illness first manifested in preventing one of my greatest loves.
I only wish I knew more about what was happening internally to intervene quicker and more substantially when I first hit this wall (joint disintegration). Unless you hate me personally or bicyclists in general, as is not at all uncommon, there is absolutely ZERO funny about this btw....
Ever gatecrashed anything interesting?
Nope! I have never gatecrashed anything to my recollection. I hate the feeling of being unwanted or unauthorised to 'be' - the last thing I need is some order-following goon-bot in polyester having entitlement beyond instinctual reckless desire to cave my head in.
Your most regrettable purchase?
Sunglasses in England. There's minimal sunlight and zero snow glare, and everyone thinks/KNOWS you're a WANKER.
On this tour I'm experimenting with performing without glasses or contacts. My prescription has become quite grim and I enjoy performing absent [of] external stimulus. I realised years ago I really enjoyed mountain biking and diving at night when all I could see was within a tightly restricted tunnel of light.
I think it's a 'spectrum thang' but regardless I like it, I like my eyes free of the bother of contact lenses and hate performing with glasses on, so it might be a further extension of the contentment I feel onstage.
Along with fasting before shows on my last tour it's funny to me that three decades into performing I'm finally finding what I most like and works best for me in my life's greatest passion.
Who's the rudest person you've ever met?
Steve Coogan - HILARIOUS but a COMPLETE See You Next Tuesday. Like all the greats - Coogan, Carr... well, those two anyway - Steve once opened for me at the Buzz Club in Manchester, he did three sets as the middle act: Paul Calf, Pauline Calf and Duncan Thicket.
After I closed the show (ADEQUATELY I might add!) he burst into the dressing room/kitchen/dog-kennel to exclaim "GREAT!! That was GREAT!!!" and when I graciously responded 'thank you' he said "NO!! I WAS GREAT!!!". A HILARIOUS but insufferable prick.
Your greatest sporting moment?
Making the Junior Men's Canadian National Slalom Kayaking team - white-water - or perhaps winning our city championship basketball title in Calgary in grade nine (and second place in grade eight). My general health is still enduring but my sporting exploits are EONS AGO (but daughter just won 'fastest in her year' foot race and I couldn't be prouder!).
What's the worst thing you ever ate?
Dressed crab - I've tried and LOVE all kinds of typically weird fish and shellfish (though whelks and eels are also a bit of an 'eyes closed and choke' type of affair) but I always hope to like crab as it just seems like they should be delicious, but I keep trying 'em aaaaand keep not liking 'em.
And fondu/FonDON'T can FUCK RIGHT OFF - that horrible moment when they drop past the fifth basket of stale baguette chunks while you're hopelessly dreaming the main course MUST BE COMING ANYTIME SOON... when THERE AIN'T ANY MAIN COURSE COMING and these crafty le stale bread dumpers are going to keep dumping until the cheese (WHICH FOR A START ISN'T CHEDDAR!!!) is gone or you and your constipated date crawl/get-stretchered away!
Which place you've visited was the biggest anti-climax?
With expectation being the mother of disappointments, bothering to stop for a photo next to the sign in Climax, Michigan was anticlimactic, compared to the opportunity to piss on its post. Similarly, I encourage my audiences, if desiring greatness, to be accepting instead of equanimity.
Craig Campbell: Raging Gracelessly is touring Scotland from 5 to 20 December. Tickets
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