Chris McCausland
Published: Tuesday 9th April 2019
One random comedian, eight random questions: it's the ultimate test of funny person and fate. This week's welcome debutant is Chris McCausland: Scouser, actor, father, purveyor of the finest visual-impairment gags we've ever heard, and a lot more besides.
The circuit stalwart has popped up in some big TV shows over the years - EastEnders, Jimmy McGovern's Moving On, CBeebies' Me Too!, Jimmy Carr's Celebrity Deal Or No Deal - but is soon setting off on the first ever tour of his lengthy stand-up career, with the show Speaky Blinders. Does this feel like a big moment?
"Yes, I think that doing a tour is quite a significant step," he says, "but as long as people turn up, it should be loads of fun! The show is all new. I performed it for the first time at the Edinburgh Festival, and I am excited to be able to perform it again at loads of venues that are much closer to my house."
We'll come back to that theme in a minute. Chris McCausland, your Random 8 await.
Who is - or was - your most interesting relative?
Well, considering everybody is meant to be descended from Genghis Khan in some way, I'd probably have to say him. He was a real crazy guy, and it's taken the family a long time to shake off the stigma.
What's the worst journey you ever endured?
Any flight home from a stag weekend away has been torture to be honest, but probably once when I flew home from Brazil with a bit of a fever. My head tubes were a bit blocked, and as we took off I lost my hearing for the entire flight. Couple this with the fact that I am blind, and I could only really smell what was going on for about twelve hours.
Which low-key law would you introduce?
Anybody that uses the word 'Chill-ax' in conversation must be publicly flogged for the best part of an entire morning.
What's your favourite fact?
If you put a standard domestic lightbulb in your mouth, bulb first, then it's not possible to get it back out again. Just take my word for it and please do not try this at home, or work, or other location.
Ever met a particularly great or awful celebrity?
I remember the first time I ever did a gig with Norman Lovett who played Holly on Red Dwarf. I was a massive Red Dwarf fan but didn't want to come across like a total obsessed idiot, and so repeated to myself, "Just be cool, don't mention Red Dwarf, just be cool, don't mention Red Dwarf."
Within five seconds of meeting him though I had already blurted out "I love Red Dwarf, my favourite episode is Queeg!!" To which Norm replied "Oh brilliant, it's mine too!" The bottom line is, he was utterly wonderful.
What's your favourite phrase or expression?
At the moment if somebody is losing their temper, or patience, or getting a bit aggro, I am very much enjoying the Scouse phrase 'Wind your neck in and give your head a wobble.'
Which British town should be abolished?
Honestly nothing against the place itself, or the people that live there - but if they got rid of Edinburgh, then it would mean that they would have to find somewhere else to hold the festival, and then there is a chance we could pick somewhere a little less prone to so much August bloody rain.
What's the oddest thing you ever drank?
Years and years ago I went to the Rock Am Ring festival in Germany and got into a bit of a drinking competition with some crazy Germans, where we had to drink a warm concoction of flat beer, Coca-Cola and Jagermeister, from a dirty one of those engine oil jug things with the long sticky-out spouts. I was sick, then fell asleep, and missed The Deftones.
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