Celya AB

Written by: Si Hawkins
Published: Tuesday 7th February 2023

One random comedian, eight random questions; it's the ultimate test of funny person and fate. This week we bid a hearty bienvenue to Celya AB, who once made the bold move from Paris to Birmingham, and will soon grace London, Leicester and beyond.

First up, she's doing a double stint at the Soho Theatre (February 8-11 then from 29th March) with Swimming, which did rather well at last year's Edinburgh Fringe.

"As with a lot of debuts, it's first and foremost an introduction to who I am," AB explains, "where I come from, and addressing the French elephant in the room (the idea being that after this show I won't need to mention it as much).

"It also covers 'pick me' girls, my phone and learning to swim. It's also very silly. It's a fish out of water story if the fish had evolved and worked in a call centre in Birmingham."

Is it an affectionate portrait of Brum, that she paints? "I would say it's affectionate, although I poke fun at it. Living there for seven years gets you that right. I love and miss Birmingham and it's always a joy to come back."

Celya will be back in the Midlands later this month, at the Leicester Comedy Festival, with brand new material; a bit of comedic art nouveau.

"I'm now working on my next show for the Fringe 2023, and I'm very excited about it," she says. "It's completely different from the first one. It's really daft and personal in strange ways. I'm loving working on it (but do check on me the week before the fringe for a completely different answer)."

C'est la Vie. Now Celya AB, your Random 8 await.

What was your childhood career dream?

I suppose the cool answer is that I wanted to be a live music photographer. The true answer is that I wanted to be one of the people who get paid loads of money to try new medicines but is actually given placebos.

Which historical figure should get more attention?

Whoever invented bread. Too much credit is given to the sliced bread guy, but sliced bread is 100% bread when you think about it. Don't even get me started on the person who invented the slicer. No one's talking about it and waiters don't want to hear it.

What's the worst job you've ever had?

If I told you I'd have to kill you (because I was a spy, I lost the job for starting a podcast about spying; subscribe to our Patreon).

What's the weirdest thing you ever saw?

I once saw a guy cycling in Clapham with a dog on its back, the dog was wearing a visor and sunglasses. I have photo evidence.

Which TV show would you love to have been in, and which part?

(Earnest reply alert) I would've loved to be in any way involved in anything Tina Fey has ever done. Ugh, to be a fly on the wall in the writers' room for 30 Rock or the SNL of that time.

Do you have a favourite shop, ever?

I LOVE Muji. If I ever walk past one, I'm going in. I've got a busy brain most of the time so I love the minimalism there and their notebooks/pens are the best. A genuine highlight of the year 2021 for me was buying Muji bed sheets. Unrelated question for a friend: can you invoice a company for advertising them if they didn't ask you to?

Your most interesting injury?

My brother had this really big skateboard (or maybe I was a small child, hard to know these days) and although I couldn't skate it didn't stop me from lying on top of it and pretending to be surfing. I once grabbed my friend's dog while concrete-surfing and he led me directly into a bed of very spiky roses. I came out of it like Edward Scissorhands.

Who are you most envious of?

To this day, my brother who saw Rage Against The Machine on their reunion tour in 2008 in Paris. I had tickets to see them in August 2022 at the Fringe, which would've been the perfect end to it and a lovely trip down memory lane and they cancelled. A shattering 1-0.