Nick Helm announces No One Gets Out Alive tour
- "Nick Helm is the greatest living all-round entertainer of his or any generation, living or dead, and he's coming to a town near you"
- Nick Helm: No One Gets Out Alive runs from September to November 2025. Ticketmaster
The 34-date tour Nick Helm: No One Gets Out Alive runs from September to November 2025.
The show's blurb explains: "Are you ready to have the best damn night of your effing life? Well don't worry, the man with the golden larynx is back - and he's aiming high.
"On his last tour Nick Helm promised you a Super Fun Good Time Show and, except for one man in Hull, no one could say he did anything other than more than deliver. This time, the International Treasure-in-Waiting is going to give you the best damn night of your miserable lives whether you want it or not.
"Nick Helm is the greatest living all-round entertainer of his or any generation, living or dead, and he's coming to a town near you. What are you going to tell your grandkids? That you were busy that night? Well get ready for your grandkids to stare at you with a complete lack of comprehension. You'll be considered, locally, an idiot. From now on, every time you catch your own reflection in a car window or the back of an old DVD, you'll think yourself a wally.
"So chill the eff out, wind your effing neck in and buy an effing ticket. They're affordable and there's an interval to buy refreshments and to look at your fellow audience members with a cocked head asking 'Did he just change our lives?' Relent to him. He. Is. Your. New. God. You can run and you can hide, but no one gets out alive."
A list of dates are below. Tickets go on general sale on Friday 11th April at 10am from sites including Ticketmaster
2025 dates
Friday 12th September: Swindon, Arts Centre
Saturday 13th September: Cambridge, Junction
Sunday 14th September: Canterbury, Gulbenkian
Thursday 18th September: Bath, Rondo
Friday 19th September: Corsham, Pound Arts
Wednesday 24th September: London, ArtsDepot
Friday 26th September: Reading, South Street
Saturday 27th September: Exeter, Barnfield Theatre
Sunday 28th September: Bristol, TFT
Saturday 4th October: Aberystwyth, Comedy Fest
Thursday 9th October: Salford, Lowry
Friday 10th October: Barnard Castle, The Wiltham
Saturday 11th October: Stockton, ARC
Sunday 12th October: Harrogate, Theatre
Thursday 16th October: Leeds, Glee
Friday 17th October: Hull, Hull Truck Theatre
Thursday 23rd October: Nottingham, Arts Theatre
Saturday 25th October: Brighton, Corn Exchange
Wednesday 29th October: Southampton, Attic
Tuesday 4th November: Newcastle, The Stand
Wednesday 5th November: Glasgow, The Stand
Thursday 6th November: Edinburgh, Monkey Barrel
Sunday 9th November: Norwich, Epic Studios
Wednesday 12th November: Dublin, Sugar Club
Thursday 13th November: Belfast, Limelight
Saturday 15th November: Stafford, Met Studio
Sunday 16th November: Birmingham, Glee
Wednesday 19th November: Sheffield, Leadmill
Thursday 20th November: Pocklington, Arts Centre
Friday 21st November: Leamington Spa, Royal Spa Centre
Sunday 23rd November: St Albans, Alban Arena
Wednesday 26th November: Cardiff, Glee
Thursday 27th November: Swansea, Taliesin Arts
Saturday 29th November: London, Leicester Square Theatre