Helen Serafinowicz writes mock heroic Wayne Rooney musical
It hasn't been a great month for Wayne Rooney, following his sacking as Plymouth Argyle manager at the turn of the year.
The ex-Manchester United star's teammate Roy Keane was once the subject of a comedy musical, I, Keano, from Father Ted co-creator Arthur Mathews.
And now Rooney is to receive the same treatment in The Legend Of Rooney's Ring, penned by Motherland co-creator Helen Serafinowicz, which opens at Liverpool's Royal Court Theatre on 18th July.
The production stars online character comic John May as the ex-footballer and Emma Grace Arends as his tabloid fixture wife Coleen.
Or rather C'Leen in Serafinowicz's "Scouse sword and sorcery" fantasy retelling, which is described as "packed with magic, romance, original songs and stupid gags ... based on a half-true rumour, this story of myth and missus will have you laughing your axe off all night long".
Serafinowicz, whose Motherland spin-off Amandaland airs on BBC One next month, has envisioned Rooney as "a mighty warrior" from "the kingdom of Liverpool", who, "ever since he was a boy he was fast and strong and incredibly handsome. He could outrun any man or horse (and he had great buns). His name was Wayne".
Embarking "on a dangerous quest of heroic deeds", Wayne "has vowed to fight evil through sheer force of will while his great buns are clad in a fetching pair of furry undies. He doesn't care about all that fighting though, he just wants his C'leen back. C'leen was a humble bricklayer's daughter from Crocky but, with her shiny caramel hair, she was the most beautiful woman in the whole kingdom.
"They fell deeply in love, making the sunshine, the flowers grow and the birds sing as tunefully as Posh Spice after the autotune's been turned right up. All was right with the world, until Wayne got distracted by some lovely ladies and C'leen biffed his ring out of the window over the hill and far far away."
Directed by Stephen Fletcher, The Legend Of Rooney's Ring isn't the only football-related stage production opening at the Royal Court in the next few months.
Mum star Peter Mullan leads the cast of Red Or Dead in March, Phillip Breen's adaptation of David 'The Damned United' Peace's novel about legendary Liverpool FC manager Bill Shankly.
The play also features Les Dennis as various chairmen of the Merseyside club and Absolutely's Gordon Kennedy as Manchester United gaffer Matt Busby.